My Big Dog Meeting My Little Nephew

[Ashling]

Just wondering if anyone has any tips on how to do this.

My nephew and family will soon be living closer and I would like to have him over often but I'm worried about him being knocked over by my big Labrador (weighs 40kg plus/not overweight).

My lab is very well trained and is a good dog but does get over excited at times (when I play with him) and is not used to kids except for walking past them on lead. He does this very well, even prams and on bikes.

I was thinking for inside I will put up a baby gate and that way he can get used to my nephew without having access.

My nephew likes to play outside too though and I know if I leave my boy inside when we go outside he will bark and want to be with us too. Is it possible that somehow I can be outside with my nephew and let my boy outside with us too?

How should I get them used to each other while outside? On a lead? Tied up out of reach? (I don't like the idea of tied up but if it would help?). Get a large dog playpen for outside so he can see my nephew from in there? Or should I just not let him near my nephew at all until they are both older? I think it would be helpful to tire him out a lot before my nephew comes over too.

My boy does know stay and commands very well but if a child is running or making noises I think he is going to want to play.

My lab is 15 months and my nephew is 4 years old. He already loves my dog and has seen him lots on Skype and met him when he was a puppy. My boy loves everything but I'm just worried that he will knock him over in excitement and he is very big.

I will get a trainer in to help us see what methods work best but wondering if anyone has any tips or experience with this.

I don't expect it to be easy or solved right away and will put in a lot of work to help try to make this happen.

[Little Gifts]

Fully supervising ALL contact is essential. My great-niece has been visiting here since Tempeh (shar pei) was a pup and she was about 3. The other dogs (one large and one medium) are fine with her, not over exuberant, but it is Temp that she desperately wants to play with the most. Tempeh has been reluctant to do so as she remains unsure of all the noises and movement my great-niece makes so stays close but out of hands reach. But late last year they visited and she kept trying with Temp and Temp got brave enough to stand still, turn around and do a play bow back, indicating she was up for a play. My poor great-niece got such a shock that she thought Temp was attacking her and burst in to tears. Tempeh of course got a shock too and couldn't understand what went wrong so we have had a set back. We will return to two leash walks next visit - me holding the main leash and my great-niece holding the other, nothing too exciting but at least they are in close proximity getting used to each other again. I'll be interested to see how well it goes for both of them, particularly as my great-niece now has a kitten and is probably calmer around animals in general.

Don't put your nephew or dog in a position to fail is my best advice so no over-stimulation for either of them when they can see each other or are interacting or in the same general space.

[Mrs Rusty Bucket]

What I did with my dog when introducing her to small children was ask her to hold a nice drop stay, show the kid where it was safe to pat (chin, chest, back) and prevent the kid from poking my dog in the eyes. Toddlers go straight for the eyes for some reason. And I have to keep telling them "not a toy".

Any inappropriate behaviour from either and I separate them (move the dog away fast). It helps if you have a child wrangler to help (parent) and you concentrate on the dog. Explain everything and show everything as you go and it's all good. Ie the child wrangler will know what you're doing and why and help prevent eye poking and nose poking and kisses and hugs.

And definitely always supervise. A 40kg dog zooming around - can break an adult by crash tackling them, let alone a small child.

You could possibly teach your lab some body awareness tricks and some kid pleasers too. Like shake hands, licky, back up, and perch work (put your feet on the phone book wrapped in a towel)...

drop and roll over are good too - but watch the paws during a roll over ie a dog needs a bit of room for that one or they can punch a kid's head on the way round.

Nose targeting and leg weaves - tho he might be too big for that. Are fun.

Do not let the child sit on or ride your dog. Not a toy. Avoid hugs and face to face contact on the initial meeting too. pay attention to what your dog says about that, lots of lip licking when there's no food, and looking away... are signs of stress and time to end the interaction.

[Ashling]

Thank you for the tips.

My boy walks well on a lead at my side and I think my nephew would enjoy helping to walk him so that could be some good positive interaction.

He is good at those tricks and commands but I've not taught him perch work so will work on that. Sounds great. He hates rolling over and won't do it, I think because he is so big and it is uncomfortable? But the others he's good at.

I've been reading a lot on how to best introduce dogs to children, especially for over excitement and it seems that 30 second time outs can be useful so I'll give that a try too unless he is just way too excited.

I'll make sure my nephew knows to be gentle. My boy however is so laid back and not phased by anything but what I am most worried about is him jumping up and knocking him over or chasing him if he runs or squeals, just because he thinks that's playing. I need to work hard on his over excitement. He doesn't jump up at me but I think he would try with a child.

He knows the look at that game so I wonder if that could help get him used to any sudden movements of my nephew playing outside?

We'll take it in baby steps.

[Stressmagnet]

I'll be watching this thread, as you could be describing Ernie and I'm always worried that the silly loveable boofa will knock over the toddler next door. As much as he is gentle once the initial thrill of 'OH MY GAWD A PERSON A FACE A HAND TUMMY RUB LICK LICK LOVE ME LOVE ME GIVE ME A PAT PLEASE THROW A BALL I LOVE EVERYONE BUT ESPECIALLY YOUUU' excitement has worn off, he's a complete tool while any ability to control his impulses goes out the window.

[persephone]

You don't want the dog to jump ? use a leash ;) by using a leash - dog can learn ..and YOU are in control , so he is safe from mistakes. .

You might be interested in some of the writings here too :)

best of luck with the new relationship-building ! :)

[Ashling]

Thanks for the link. I will definitely use a leash and it will be better than nothing but he will still be super excited unfortunately, unless we're going for a walk. Like Labs often are, he loves everyone a little too much when they come over to his house. After the initial crazy happy that someone has come to see 'him' he does eventually calm down but I really want him calm from the start with my nephew. Definitely need to keep working on his excitement level when someone comes over.

I think maybe a baby gate separating him inside while he gets used to my nephew's movements etc then step by step, on a leash, coming for a walk with us or greeting not directly face to face and positive reinforcement for being calm and short time outs for being too excited should help but it still really worries me at the thought.

Our boys are exactly the same age Stressmagnet! Don't think they're litter mates though. It's amazing to see how serious and calm he is when in training mode or on a walk but then how crazy happy goofy he can get for attention.

[sheena]

Thank you for the tips.

My boy walks well on a lead at my side and I think my nephew would enjoy helping to walk him so that could be some good positive interaction.

He is good at those tricks and commands but I've not taught him perch work so will work on that. Sounds great. He hates rolling over and won't do it, I think because he is so big and it is uncomfortable? But the others he's good at.

I've been reading a lot on how to best introduce dogs to children, especially for over excitement and it seems that 30 second time outs can be useful so I'll give that a try too unless he is just way too excited.

I'll make sure my nephew knows to be gentle. My boy however is so laid back and not phased by anything but what I am most worried about is him jumping up and knocking him over or chasing him if he runs or squeals, just because he thinks that's playing. I need to work hard on his over excitement. He doesn't jump up at me but I think he would try with a child.

He knows the look at that game so I wonder if that could help get him used to any sudden movements of my nephew playing outside?

We'll take it in baby steps.

Yes...definately, especially if you work with a clicker. I have just done up instructions for this for some of the dogs & handlers in my agility classes....I can send these to you, if you PM me an email address. One day I will get around to putting it on my website, but that wont be today :)

[Ashling]

Awesome. Thanks.

I should say that I get people to ignore his excited greeting as much as they can, stand still and hold their arms to their chest and not look at him until he's calmed down and then they can give him a treat. But he is still too excited than he should be and wants all their attention that it's hard and he will be a lot bigger than a 4 year old for him to be at all over excited like this.

[sheena]

Awesome. Thanks.

I should say that I get people to ignore his excited greeting as much as they can, stand still and hold their arms to their chest and not look at him until he's calmed down and then they can give him a treat. But he is still too excited than he should be and wants all their attention that it's hard and he will be a lot bigger than a 4 year old for him to be at all over excited like this.

No problem. I was just thinking if you are going to play LAT with him, maybe if you started off with an older child...one you could give instruction to. Start with the child being very calm and as your training progresses & you are having success, you gradually introduce more animation/noise in the child. Keep your sessions short, & always end on a happy note/party & with your dog being successful. If at any time you click & he doesn't immediately turn back to you, then you know you are asking too much & you need to go back a step to where he was being successful :)

[Ashling]

That sounds great. Would an adult be able to kind of mimic this since I don't know any older children?

[sheena]

That sounds great. Would an adult be able to kind of mimic this since I don't know any older children?

An adult would be better than nothing...maybe the child with a parent

[aliwake]

Definitely monitor very closely, but you might be surprised by how much your boy will self-regulate.

Nixon amazed me with my 3 yr old nephew when they first met. no jumping, just followed him around gently sniffing and being quite careful. He tends to respond really well to basic commands from kids too (more responsive to them than to me to be honest!)

[Ashling]

I was just thinking that he might be gentle and surprise me. I know hearing the door bell adds to his excitement greeting so maybe if I introduce them in a different environment and work up to it.

When he was a puppy my nephew had him sitting and staying just by putting up his hand and copying me. My nephew did this over and over and each time my boy responded, was very cute and funny. But now he's so huge I really will be super careful. I'm not sure if his parents have taught him about safety around dogs, there are many great articles and tips that might come in handy for them too.

[Dame Aussie]

Definitely monitor very closely, but you might be surprised by how much your boy will self-regulate.

Nixon amazed me with my 3 yr old nephew when they first met. no jumping, just followed him around gently sniffing and being quite careful. He tends to respond really well to basic commands from kids too (more responsive to them than to me to be honest!)

Yep my boy is 50kg and very excitable and friendly. He LOVES kids but he is always very gentle and has never jumped etc when kids are around. The most he tries with kids/babies is to lick! We just supervise closely even if it means we sit with him and hold onto his collar to ensure he doesn't get silly. You could keep him on lead if you're worried. If he gets silly just separate for a while :)

Edited June 29, 2015 by Dame Aussie

[Mrs Rusty Bucket]

I think you write some conflicting things - he's really laid back and not phased by anything. And he gets over excited when meeting new people etc.

So he's phased (excited) by new people.

I deal with excited - good happy and excited - angry scared - the same way.

It's all about teaching impulse control and gradually increasing the excitement level so your dog can practice staying calm and in control in front of something really exciting (in a good way).

So pay attention to everything that gets him excited (besides children) and see what you can do to use those as distractions when you're trick training.

Eg train the trick like a really nice drop stay - somewhere not exciting like the lounge room? Then up the excitement - and ask for a nice long sit stay - in front of his dinner. Ie he can see his dinner, he's excited about dinner time - ask for the sit stay - time how long he can do it before he goes over the top and either tries to steal his dinner or starts barking or just loses it in some way. That's your threshold. put him back in the sit stay - start over but release him almost straight away... so he knows what the job is and you reward with something really great like his dinner.

So places where there are lots of new people and you can take a dog - eg footy games. Stand far enough that your dog can still pay attention to you and ask him to do all the tricks he knows, then move a bit closer and repeat. As soon as he gets excited and stops listening - you know where his threshold is (in that place) and you can work on the edge of it - further away, closer, further, closer but gradually getting closer while he's calm. Keep it short and easy.

Beware of kids that will barge up to you to say hello. Some will ask nicely and you might be able to use that as a training opportunity if they're with their parents.

[Ashling]

Thanks.

When I say not phased by anything, I mean he doesn't mind people touching him or coming up to him or hugs or anything like that, as in he just laps it up and doesn't show any distressed signs. He doesn't get upset or freak by loud noises. So I'm not worried about him getting stressed in that sense with children to where he'd react, though I'd make sure they are gentle with him still. The only time he is silly and over excited is when the door bell rings and people come in. He's not been around kids though apart from on leash walks where he just ignores them and walks past. I'm just worried about if he sees my nephew outside and wants to jump up at him and knock him down accidentally. I want him to be able to be outside with us and not have to worry about that. I haven't tried it yet so I don't know how he really will be but I don't want my nephew accidentally hurt at all so want to introduce them carefully.

The impulse control would be a great thing for us to work on in lots of different settings. He loves training and I know he'd love doing that.

He is excellent at long stays except for when greeting people at our house. He can leave it for anything but that because he's just too happy in that moment that there are people here. He has made progress but we have a long way to go still. What I'm worried about is that if he sees my nephew that he will show that type of excitement towards him and my nephew won't understand or be physically able to just stand still and ignore him. I would have him on a lead but I still don't want that level of excitement directed to my nephew.

Edited June 29, 2015 by Ashling

[Dame Aussie]

Yeah my boy is the same. Greeting people entering is when he gets silly but when it's a child he is surprisingly very controlled, doesn't jump etc.

Edited June 29, 2015 by Dame Aussie

[Ashling]

That is amazing when big dogs are instinctively gentle like that. I really hope my boy will be too. I think it will help if he gets to be around my nephew at first from a distance or if they come for walks with us sometimes. I guess I will just see how he goes very carefully at first and take a step back and try different methods if he is still too excited.

[Mrs Rusty Bucket]

yes, most accidents I've seen with Labs is when they're excited and playing chase the dog, and don't look where they're going.

Making a lot of noise on your part will help a dog that's not looking - avoid a crash because they will hear you yelling (I tend to yell OI OI OI and bend my knees...). My dog makes herself into a pancake on the ground when she sees an excited lab blasting up.

She has a sneaky habit of wiping off a pursuing lab by dodging around a human and the lab crash tackles the human. So I don't let her zoom through groups of humans.

With the door thing.

My dog is prone to getting very excited at the front door. Especially if the door bell rings. So I have played impulse control at the front door too. Ie she has to be nice and calm and wait for permission word and not blast out (barking is worse)... if she does that, if she is at all excited (hacklebacked) even if she's quiet, I will drag her back in and shut the door and make her start over.

I reckon you could combine that with someone to ring the door bell and do some training there too.

It got really bad - the blasting out the front door - because I figured she was on lead and it didn't matter... but it does matter. Much better to have a calm dog going out or when you open the door.

I am a bit naughty when it comes to door to door sales guys but they don't come much any more. I've got a do-not-knock sign on the door. So the only ones I get now are the "free brake service". yeah right.