Jump to content

Really Need Help And Advice On A Very Very Sad Subject


The 3 Musketeers
 Share

Recommended Posts

Where do i start,This is breaking my heart and my kids,We have a family pet dog,who has been going down hill for a few months now,And the vets have told us that we need to make a time in the next few weeks to put our little girl to sleep.

We got her over 5yrs ago from deathrow,when she was 18months old as she was going to be put to sleep,as her first owners had bashed her and tortured her,she had also had a few litters,broken hip bone,damage spinal nerves,plus she would try and hide if anyone came near her.

We had healed her back to health,and had been going fine up until a few months.

She has now started to have fits(sometimes 4 a week) the vets said she isnt in any pain when she is having them,however her back legs are now giving her the problems as well.She has her good days and bad days.

We have had her on anti-inflam, but it works for just a short period of time.We have another small dog same breed silkyX chui,and we are also worried what will happen when the two becomes one.

They sleep together,play together,and do everything togther.

I know that if i take one for a walk,the other dog will start to wimper and run around the house looking for the other one.

I have heard of stories when one pet dies,the other one cant cope,and dies of a brokenheart,due to being apart,Im so scared,i dont want to loose both of them,Im finding it hard to know when the time is right to get her put to sleep.

The vets said to weigh out how many good days she has and how many bads days,and if she is having more bad days,then thats the right time.

But she is still playing,eating,snoring,and walking up stairs etc,and most people wouldnt even know she is sick.

As the vet has said,she isnt in any pain right now,and im scared i wont know when the time is right,and i know i wont be able to cope or my kids cope when the day comes,and also how will our other dog cope as well.

Please Please i really need some help in this matter.

I know i have to do what is best for her,if she does get pain or her happy life is no longer happy,but its breaking our hearts,and im not a stronge person mentally either.

I dont know how long keeping her on anti-inflam is the best thing for her either.

Will my other dog survive losing her best friend,and how do i make it easyer for her to cope,what do i do,are their things i should do,and what if they dont work

would love to hear from anyone to has been through this sad sad time :(:eek:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have recently lost my Stafford male, and can fully understand how you are feeling. My decision was made for me with him, but my previous dog had cancer and I had to make the call. Believe me, you will know when the time is right. There is just something in the way that they look at you that makes your heart break, but lets you know that the time has come to let them go and that they are ready to leave you.

As far as your kids go, I am not sure of the ages. I have a 8yr old, 4yr old and 1 yr old. The 8yr old understands to an extent, the 4yr old I thought was understanding and then on the weekend he asked me when Bronson was coming home. So you will need to prepare yourself for questions, as they will come out with things like that. As far as the little one goes, I know he realises his mate is gone, but too little to explain it to him. There is a book I was given when Bronson passed that talks about the circle of life, and my 8yr old read it, and I think it helped.

Your other dog will struggle, but you need to try and keep things as normal as possible. It is easy to over compensate, but it is in the best interest for your other dog to keep things normal. I believe your other dog should be given the chance to see your dog after it has passed, I think this is important in them understanding. Also, you can have some rescue remedy on standby just to take the edge off any anxiety.

Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk at all. Its a hard time for all of you and I fully sympathise. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let me just add my thoughts and condolences to you - I had to make that decision 3 years ago for our ACD X - she was my special girl but she was uncomfortable and would have experienced more pain as the time went on. The vet gave her 3 months at the most but I couldn't do that to her......coming home without her was hard :rolleyes: .

Rainbow Bridge was excellent and helped me a lot with talking to my kids - who were 4 and 6 - they still talk about Jess in Rainbow Bridge and when my Dad passed recently one of the first things they said was "He will see Jess (our ACD) and Max (parents old beagle) at Rainbow Bridge."

We had 2 other dogs and so there wasn't as big a sense of loss to them I think but I don't know - they did grieve in their own ways...

Whatever happens there will be thoughts and support winging their way to you.......... If I can help at all .....pm me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

I am very sorry for your situation.

When her time is here she will let you know, and you will know it.

It's as Isiss says "There is just something in the way that they look at you that makes your heart break, but lets you know that the time has come to let them go and that they are ready to leave you".

It's heartbreaking, but you need to enjoy every day you have with her, and not think about when she is not here.

My boy had a limp for about a week and I took him to the vet.

He had a very agressive cancer and they gave him 3 months if they amputated his leg.

I made the decision to give him his wings, and returned home without him.

My girl looked for him immediately and didn't understand where he was ~ they were inseparable.

Over the next couple of weeks she was with me nearly every minute I was home.

I gave her lots of extra cuddles and hugs... and in time I beleive she understood he wouldn't be coming home.

She lived for another 4 years and was very happy and spoiled.

Sorry don't have children, so can't comment on them.

Enjoy every day you have with your precious girls :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry, this part of having pets is so so tough, it breaks my heart.

I went through this years ago when my GSD was having lots of problems walking due to severe hip dysplasia. I was pregnant with my son when her back end kept going on her when we were out on our daily walks. Being pregnant I couldn't lift her but had to wait until she could get herself back to the car. It just got worse and worse so the decision had to be made. My goldie did change. She became a lot more clingy as an only dog but part of this may have been because of the impending birth of my son (she could sense something was going to happen). We can only help them through the best we can. Depending on the age of your other dog, perhaps another K9 friend at some point. My goldie is now 9yo and has just got another K9 friend and she loves her new puppy (and has made her more puppyish).

The death of our pets is another one one to deal with for our children. All I can suggest is being honest and open with them and letting them know how sick she is so it doesn't come as a huge shock when it is time for their beloved pet to go to Rainbow Bridge. Perhaps even having a memorial at home somewhere (plant a tree or something in memory) may help them too - somewhere they can always go to remember their friend.

HUGS I know this is a tough time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Believe me, you will know when the time is right. There is something in the expression that changes.

I kept a dog alive and happy for several years using various antiinflammatories . His legs were slowly becomming paralysed but that caused him no pain. I would lift him to his feet and then he could walk a little bit - even around the block. The hard part was the cleaning up of accidents and keeping him clean etc. I must say it was exhausting as he was a large dog but it was worth it.

Then one day he no longer had the strength to stay upright when I lifted him up - you could see it in his eyes that it was his time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

I'm very sorry to hear of your dog's illness.

As others have said, your dog will let you know. It may be how she looks, it may be her behaviour - something that she wouldn't ordinarily do that's her telling you that she's ready to go. You'll know when it happens, even though you might not accept it straightaway. It won't make your decision any easier but it will make it easier to accept.

Best wishes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

hello, very sorry about your situation, i hope all goes well but

in reply to your worries about your other dog not being able to cope with the loss ..i have had a similar experience, two of my dogs one being a GSD also a rescue from deathrow lol, the other a pointer x cattle, they were bestfriends and one day the GSD was bitten by a snake whilst noone was at home he died from the bite, our pointer was devestated he didnt move out of a little corner in the backyard for a few days, he wouldnt eat, he just cryed, we brought him into the house but still he didnt move from the one spot, This was very strange considering how much he usually craved attention, he was never really the same until we got a new GSD quite a few months down the track and he adores her, he is back to his old self again, Although i dont doubt the fact that he still misses his old friend, he is a very happy dog again. Full of life and as happy as larry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The 3 Musketeers - I am very sorry to hear your girl is so sick. It is a hard decision to make as we had to make the same decision a year and a half ago. Personally it was something I had been dreading for some time but for some reason the decision was a little easier then I thought it would be. I had dreaded the thought of having to make the decision but when the time came I just knew it was the right decision and was comfortable with that.

My rottie boy had been declining over a period of time and had some bad days. While he was sleeping more and more, he would still wolf down his breakfast. On the Saturday morning he was reluctant to get off his bed even for breakfast ... and then he only ate a little of it. I immediately burst into tears because I knew that wasn't like him at all ... he would eat even if he was half asleep. On the Sunday he showed no interest in his food at all and just slept. I think I must have cryed all day Sunday and Sunday night because of the realisation the time was near.

Our GSD realised something was wrong and instead of jumping all over him like normal, he just layed down beside him.

It was hard to make the call to the vet to take him in but I knew it wasn't fair to him to allow him to suffer any more. I went and washed my face and spent all morning with just him, telling him how much I loved him and what a great dog he had been and how I will never forget him. I carried him to the car and took him for his final drive. The staff at the vets were wonderful ... but I didn't cry at all. He went to sleep in my arms with me telling him it was going to be ok. I just wanted him to know he was loved and didn't want him to see me crying. I felt I owed him that much.

The staff helped me carry him back to the car and I took him home. I was going to put him on his bed so our GSD could come in and spend some time with him ... until the funeral home arrived to collect his body but I couldn't get him out of the car by myself. I ended up leaving him in the back of the car and bringing our GSD out to him. I wanted our GSD to know that he was gone and not just disappeared.

Yes ... our GSD missed his best friend. Every morning when he got home from work, he would run around the yard looking for him. He went off his food and lost some weight ... but eventually he picked up and returned to more of his "normal" self ... I think he also matured more and lost some of the puppiness about him. I think for almost 12 months I would come home and go outside still expecting to see him and then realise he was gone ... and sometimes I still expect half expect him to come home.

Edited by Tilly
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My heart goes out to you ,having just made the dession myself to have the boy of my dreams pts, only 10days ago .I wont go into details ,he was only 18mths old but loved for lifetimes .

As others have said ,you will know when yor dogs time is due ,but must add, the thinking about it ,is worse than the actual act ,(somehow ,some where the strenth& courage comes to do what is best for your pet.

Do it in the name of love & devotion .

Imo quality outways quantity of life, for our loved ones ,as much as it hurts .

Trusting you find the strenth ,hugs 2 you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sheridan, Zoe has been laid to rest, the OP was unable to cope and was helped by some dolers, the OP rescued 3 pups in a box and has kept a little girl called Mia to keep her other dog company and has since changed her name :(

Just to catch you up a little bit :mad

Quote ^ from 25th November 2008, kindly posted by Tramissa to bring everyone up to date. Please people, read the posts following the original one before replying in the palliative care thread.

Edited by cavNrott
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...

3 Muskateers, So sorry to hear you are going through this. I know you will do the utmost best thing you can by your girl. Going through what you are can be very very hard to cope with. Your other little dog will be sad for a little while, but with your and your families love she will get better with a little time. Make sure you look after yourself. You are the most imporatant thing Mia can have when eventually her friend needs to leave her.

Take care, seek help when you need it, we are thinking of you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sheridan, Zoe has been laid to rest, the OP was unable to cope and was helped by some dolers, the OP rescued 3 pups in a box and has kept a little girl called Mia to keep her other dog company and has since changed her name :cheer:

Just to catch you up a little bit :)

Quote ^ from 25th November 2008, kindly posted by Tramissa to bring everyone up to date. Please people, read the posts following the original one before replying in the palliative care thread.

rommimum 22nd June 2009

Muskateers, So sorry to hear you are going through this. I know you will do the utmost best thing you can by your girl. Going through what you are can be very very hard to cope with. Your other little dog will be sad for a little while, but with your and your families love she will get better with a little time. Make sure you look after yourself. You are the most imporatant thing Mia can have when eventually her friend needs to leave her.

Take care, seek help when you need it, we are thinking of you.

Sadly this dog was pts 20th September 2008

Edited by cavNrott
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...