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Separation Issues - New Pups . Some Discussion...


persephone
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We had a dog growing up but I couldn't tell you much about it, all I remember is her in her last years suffering old age..

I dont agree that just because I haven't had a dog from puppyhood ( I say that because our sandy was old when I was 11 so I have no knowledge/memory of her as a puppy.) I should not be allowed a puppy?? I have 4 children surely if they are still alive that gives me credit lol lol..

I think people that are new to the dog world need to be given a chance we are not all stupid.

Another big issue these days is that so many people have not grown up with dogs. When I was a kid nearly everyone had a dog and you grew up knowing the basics of dog behaviour so knew what to expect as you reared a puppy. Everyone owned or knew a dog that destroyed things, an escape artist, a barker, etc so they knew that dogs sometimes did all these things.

With so many immigrants from non doggy countries and children being raised in high density housing, a lot grow up with no idea how dogs act and think. Then they go out and buy a puppy and attempt to try to raise by the book but the books contradict each other. Personally I don't think anyone should rear a puppy if they have never lived with a dog before. Better to get an adult that has some basic training to learn about dogs before attempting to raise a puppy. A few people manage to get raising their first dog from a puppy right, but so many just have no idea and it is the puppies that suffer.

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We are first time dog owners and have our first puppy (4mths).

It is definitely a challenging time and I even said to my hubby that I'm more worried about screwing up this puppy than our own children... it was said in jest but it is partly true. Puppies mature so much quicker than our own children and it seems like (from what I've read/heard) any negative experiences during their puppy development can make it a fearful dog for the rest of it's life. So then you get someone like me who will try to do their best at avoiding any negative experiences, make sure they are well cared for, trained right, etc, trying to decipher what I need to do, and nowadays that is easiest by jumping online. I am so grateful that experienced dog owners/breeders are online in places like this forum so that when I have a query I can get some advice. Like anything you read online, you need to view advice with a critical mind - does it make sense? what proof is there? etc, etc.

We did consider adopting an older dog, however when we met this dog he was rather boisterous and my 2 daughters were fearful of him - his full adult Cavalier size (so not big by any means) jumping and scratching them... he was jumping up and craving our attention and this was in his "home environment" and we were "visitors" - not something we wanted him to do at our house. I'm almost positive we could have corrected his untrained behaviours, but we didn't want to take that chance. If it were just me and hubby it would be a totally different story. So for us a puppy was about the kids getting confident with him (handling, training, feeing, etc) and learning with him.

My husband and I are fairly common sense type people, but if there are experts willing to lend a hand it seems a bit silly not to listen. What you then do with that information is up to you.

Yes, there is too much contradicting advice, yes it seems everyone has an opinion on what you should do to raise it successfully, but at the end of the day it is living in my home, with my family and we need to do what is best in our situation.

A lot of the time it seems that there are high expectations that the puppy should be doing this and shouldn't be doing that and should be toilet trained the moment they come home... but then again there can be perhaps unjust expectations on the owners that they should know everything before the puppy comes home, and know as if instinctively what is wrong and how to "fix it".

Just my 2c worth.

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It is so interesting to me ..out here in the scrub, and away from the city and subbubs now.

yes, I've had dogs in the city, and yes, I have trained dogs for many years .....

but, if/when I move into the city again , I have decided to not have a dog . The stories told on here, and the myriad of things to consider nowdays re the restrictions on dog freedoms/access make it seem not a desirable thing , and in the 'too hard' basket for this old chook.

:thumbsup: to all of you bringing a new pup into your homes , and negotiating all the obstacles !

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It is so interesting to me ..out here in the scrub, and away from the city and subbubs now.

yes, I've had dogs in the city, and yes, I have trained dogs for many years .....

but, if/when I move into the city again , I have decided to not have a dog . The stories told on here, and the myriad of things to consider nowdays re the restrictions on dog freedoms/access make it seem not a desirable thing , and in the 'too hard' basket for this old chook.

:thumbsup: to all of you bringing a new pup into your homes , and negotiating all the obstacles !

:laugh: I would happily place a bet that if that were to happen within 6 months there would be some unlikely canine (in need) co-habitating with you. ;)

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:thumbsup:

We are first time dog owners and have our first puppy (4mths).

It is definitely a challenging time and I even said to my hubby that I'm more worried about screwing up this puppy than our own children... it was said in jest but it is partly true. Puppies mature so much quicker than our own children and it seems like (from what I've read/heard) any negative experiences during their puppy development can make it a fearful dog for the rest of it's life. So then you get someone like me who will try to do their best at avoiding any negative experiences, make sure they are well cared for, trained right, etc, trying to decipher what I need to do, and nowadays that is easiest by jumping online. I am so grateful that experienced dog owners/breeders are online in places like this forum so that when I have a query I can get some advice. Like anything you read online, you need to view advice with a critical mind - does it make sense? what proof is there? etc, etc.

We did consider adopting an older dog, however when we met this dog he was rather boisterous and my 2 daughters were fearful of him - his full adult Cavalier size (so not big by any means) jumping and scratching them... he was jumping up and craving our attention and this was in his "home environment" and we were "visitors" - not something we wanted him to do at our house. I'm almost positive we could have corrected his untrained behaviours, but we didn't want to take that chance. If it were just me and hubby it would be a totally different story. So for us a puppy was about the kids getting confident with him (handling, training, feeing, etc) and learning with him.

My husband and I are fairly common sense type people, but if there are experts willing to lend a hand it seems a bit silly not to listen. What you then do with that information is up to you.

Yes, there is too much contradicting advice, yes it seems everyone has an opinion on what you should do to raise it successfully, but at the end of the day it is living in my home, with my family and we need to do what is best in our situation.

A lot of the time it seems that there are high expectations that the puppy should be doing this and shouldn't be doing that and should be toilet trained the moment they come home... but then again there can be perhaps unjust expectations on the owners that they should know everything before the puppy comes home, and know as if instinctively what is wrong and how to "fix it".

Just my 2c worth.

Great Post!

Your breeder must be very pleased to have a family like yours for their pup - if you ever decide on a Particolour Pomeranian (mine are a little larger than average, btw) do PLEASE drop me a line! :)

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This is a great thread. I think there is a huge information overload for new puppy owners but it's focused on the wrong things. The information is about where to keep the puppy, training, feeding (OMGoodness feeding options!!) etc when I feel the information overload should be more focused on "is this the right breed for you/your family?"

Too many people go out and buy dogs they know nothing about (I'll even admit to this) and it's the dogs who end up suffering. If puppy buyers take the time to understand the breed (eg what it was bred for [ie Retrievers for retrieving]) then I'm sure there'd be a lot less problem dogs.

That being said, however, what ever happened to common sense? The best thing for any dog/puppy is for the owner to grow and learn with it. When I bought Zeus (an impulse pet shop purchase) I soon realised I was in for a LOT of work. He was my first puppy (Poochie didn't count as I was little when she was a puppy) so I half expected him to come pre-trained. Boy was I wrong!!

I wasn't working at the time so I googled around for dog training clubs and found out there's a really good one not 10 minutes away. I dedicated Saturday mornings to his obedience until I went back to retail about a year later. He also did a puppy pre-school and he's now a gorgeous dog.

Sure, he does have some issues I'm working through but he's a fast learner and eager to please so I work with him.

Kirah on the other hand, I wasn't home to take her out everywhere whilst she was between 8 and 12 weeks and as a consequence, she barks at everything (there's a lion statue in the front garden of a neighbour's property and she barks at that) and runs away if I flap a cardboard box at her etc. I'm upset that my lack of time spent with her as a pup has resulted in this and I know it's because she went no where as a youngster this has happened. When Zeus was little he went EVERYWHERE with me. Kirah didn't go anywhere until her final puppy vacc as that's when I started to have more time.

I'm still working with Kirah and this fear/barking behaviour and I hope we can recover from my blunder.

Learning and growth ... That's what dogs/puppies are about!!

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Kirah on the other hand, I wasn't home to take her out everywhere whilst she was between 8 and 12 weeks and as a consequence, she barks at everything (there's a lion statue in the front garden of a neighbour's property and she barks at that) and runs away if I flap a cardboard box at her etc. I'm upset that my lack of time spent with her as a pup has resulted in this and I know it's because she went no where as a youngster this has happened. When Zeus was little he went EVERYWHERE with me. Kirah didn't go anywhere until her final puppy vacc as that's when I started to have more time.

I'm still working with Kirah and this fear/barking behaviour and I hope we can recover from my blunder.

don't be so quick to blame yourself for your dogs issues. Puppies are not born perfect any more then people. Even the best bred, best reared pups/dogs can have issues and sometimes it doesn't matter what you do the pup/dog is still what it is. A living breathing creature with imperfections.

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don't be so quick to blame yourself for your dogs issues. Puppies are not born perfect any more then people. Even the best bred, best reared pups/dogs can have issues and sometimes it doesn't matter what you do the pup/dog is still what it is. A living breathing creature with imperfections.

'zackly.

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Thanks for your kind words Rebanne and Persephone. It is so easy to forget that each dog is different and Zeus and Kirah are like night and day. She's very submissive and he very dominant so perhaps they can learn from each other: Kirah to be a bit more dominant and Zeus less so!!

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My ex puppy (hehe I say ex cuz she's a big girl now!) was raised military style. I took two weeks off with her but that was mainly to give myself time to sleep in the day because I was toilet training her (luckily she was a good holder and I had to wake her up and put her out as opposed to her waking me so she slept through the night after a few days).

We had a routine which started very very early in the morning, trick training, morning observation of the world, trick training and then she was pretty much left outside in a safe environment (with appropriate treats) for hours while I went inside with the big dog.

At around five pm or so we did trick training again, lead training, observation of the world (gradually turned into small basic walks), play, more tricks, learning to be calm (While I made dinner she sat on her mat), outside with her dinner while I ate dinner, learning to be calm, cuddle time, more tricks and then bed (in a crate).

This continued for probably 6 months even when I was back at work. I think she was too busy/exhausted to feel anxious or get up to anything! Her only rest time was when I was not there so she always slept!

I am of two minds about this method. On one hand in worked a treat and she grew up to be divine and is everything we could ask for. Her record of destruction over her entire life has been................6 tissues! That's it!!! That's all she ever destroyed! She doesn't bark, I can call her off a bird while she is chasing it etc. However I do feel like I missed out on lavishing over her gorgeousness! So much of her youth was spent doing "appropriate" things, I wish I remembered the puppy cuddles more! But then I don't know how she would have turned out! I feel that she is quite an energetic nutter of a dog but yet, she has wonderful self control! I wonder if she would have been norty if I hadn't been so firm with her in her youth!

The good thing is that I spoil her rotten now and it doesn't affect her one bit! :D

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I do feel like I missed out on lavishing over her gorgeousness! So much of her youth was spent doing "appropriate" things,

No ... you and she missed NOTHING , IMO - working together, communicating, achieving, learning and sharing experience is more valuable than gratuitous cuddles and admiration ;) :)

I wonder if she would have been norty if I hadn't been so firm with her in her youth!

Quite possibly :)

I think she was too busy/exhausted to feel anxious or get up to anything! Her only rest time was when I was not there so she always slept!

..as it should be .

Edited by persephone
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I do feel like I missed out on lavishing over her gorgeousness! So much of her youth was spent doing "appropriate" things,

No ... you and she missed NOTHING , IMO - working together, communicating, achieving, learning and sharing experience is more valuable than gratuitous cuddles and admiration ;) :)

I wonder if she would have been norty if I hadn't been so firm with her in her youth!

Quite possibly :)

I think she was too busy/exhausted to feel anxious or get up to anything! Her only rest time was when I was not there so she always slept!

..as it should be .

I often wonder Persephone how much is nature and how much is nurture. Was I lucky. Is she just good?Bitty is a pig of a dog but I have been known to give her roast in a bowl, an unclear command to eat only to walk back a few mins later to find her looking very tormented at me and at the bowl still waiting for my command to eat.

She automatically scurries to her mat when I fry foods because we spent months on this as a puppy.

Pick up the clicker and my happy go lucky dog gets all serious and sits in front of me waiting for me to ask for something.

I must admit with her I feel like a solid foundation has made the world of difference but then she is only one dog.I'd love to raise a few more and see how things turn out!

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a solid foundation has made the world of difference but then she is only one dog.

She is only one dog ..but a consistent foundation is a very good start .. and will set any puppy off on the right track , forge a strong relationship between owner and pup, and give an owner a much better understanding of how pup thinks and behaves :)

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  • 2 months later...

Wow what a fantastic thread! When my guys were puppies I read EVERYTHING known to man on dogs and dog training and was so focussed on not ruining my puppies that to be honest I think I turned them into spoilt sooks. They are mostly well behaved (more so the second one) but they do have some issues.

Everything I read seemed to talk about seperation anxiety and how it was bad to leave them alone etc. so I always felt so incredibly guilty when I left for work. Then I would spoil them when I got home to make up for leaving them. I now have one dog that actually does have seperation anxiety and both completely lose their minds if they are locked outside contstantly jumping and scratching at the door.

So next time I'm definately going to do things differently. I have a very secure yard with shelter so I think they will be outside during the day while I'm at work, crate trained at night & not allowed on furniture. They will have the same amount of training and play time. I also think I'm just going to stress less about the whole puppy raising thing. I mean I tried so hard to raise them perfectly and they still didn't turn out perfect so whats the big deal. Last time I was constantly so stressed and always scolding my partner for not doing things the right way etc. Next time I'm just going to chill and go with the flow and be a bit more consistent :D

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One of the things I always tell my puppy owners is to leave them by themselves in their pen for a period of time every day. They are used to being without human companionship before they leave home. They spend time by themselves (albeit with littermates) and are used to being confined in a puppy pen - while alone and when we are home. Just recently a new owner was telling me that she had to leave her pup in the pen and go out for half an hour. She was worried that he would cry ect. She had painters working outside and when she got home they said the pup didn't make a sound. Early routine from the breeder I think helps establish settled well adjusted dogs - (if followed through by new owners)

Edited by puglvr
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  • 1 year later...

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