tdierikx Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 It is wrong to do it because I'm not coping? Certainly not wrong... you will do what's right when it's right... You not coping is all part of it. T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Do you want it over with? No I don't think it is wrong. I don't think he has much time left so it wouldn't be too early. I wouldn't be doing chemo on a pet that had cancer in the liver. Once it is in those organs it is just not good. You might give him a couple of months more but I doubt you would get years longer. Ii just had to make this decision with a cat. I deliberately picked a vet that I knew wasn't going to force treatments on to me and would honestly consider the cat's well-being. Some vets like to keep doing treatments beyond what it fair on the pet and the owner. A lot of vets will not say that it is time btw. Mine did thankfully. Not one person here is going to think that you have done the wrong thing if you give your dog his wings today. Even if you leave it a bit too late, well that is understandable too. It is never nice. It never gets easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 I feel like because I am not copping I am failing him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coogie Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Ms Dani, I really, really feel for you, have you considered that you are not coping because he is not coping and you can't bear watching him? Maybe that is your "sign". If you know he is sick and maybe in pain and won't really ever recover it is not wrong. As many have said better too early than too late even though it feels unbearable, I hope today brings a decision for you all whatever it is and I hope you have support of those around you. It sounds like he is so loved, I am sorry you are having to struggle with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 You haven't failed him yet :) You are asking questions that most of us have asked. I spent hours trying to decide if it was the right time for my cat. Did heaps of googling etc. It isn't an easy decision to make. If you google you will find volumes of stuff with people feeling the same way that you are now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 No I don't think it is wrong. I don't think he has much time left so it wouldn't be too early. I think I'm not coping because I know no matter what I do, I will lose him in the end. He has always come running to me when he's sick/scared - but this time I can't fix it. Past 4 weeks I've tried to make it better for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) No I don't think it is wrong. I don't think he has much time left so it wouldn't be too early. I think I'm not coping because I know no matter what I do, I will lose him in the end. He has always come running to me when he's sick/scared - but this time I can't fix it. Past 4 weeks I've tried to make it better for him. No you can't make him better but you can stop him from hurting. That is an amazing last gift you can give. Edited August 31, 2012 by JulesP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 I'm sorry for asking all of these questions - but I need to talk to people who understand. This is my first dog love and I've never had to deal with this before... People IRL have never really understood the connection I have with him. I have struggled for 15 years to have a child and that's why I got him - To help ease the pain. Now I am still childless and he is dying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebanne Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 It is wrong to do it because I'm not coping? no definitely not! If you can't cope then listen to what you are trying to tell yourself, it is time. It is another sign, be kind to your dog and be kind to yourself. This living on a knifes edge is no fun for man or beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebanne Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I feel like because I am not copping I am failing him. Never have you failed him, in fact you can give him the best gift of all. Peace. Sweet is the sleep that ends all pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebanne Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 a poem I wrote for my beloved Zoe, the bestest German Shepherd ever HEARTBEAT AT MY FEET The old dog lies there Curled up in sleep Twitching and dreaming Heartbeat at my feet Dreaming of Other days Younger days Heartbeat at my feet Of days filled With fun In the sun Heartbeat at my feet Of days free of pain From old age and It’s cruelties Heartbeat at my feet Soon, her pain is gone Mine has just begun And no longer is there Heartbeat at my feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 People IRL have never really understood the connection I have with him. I have struggled for 15 years to have a child and that's why I got him - To help ease the pain. Now I am still childless and he is dying. There is nothing really that can be said to make you feel better. It is going to hurt like hell but I promise it will fade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9angel Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Huge hugs Msdani. Reading some of the posts here, has me in tears. I went through similiar with Whitey when he was sick. So many times, I thought this is it, it's time but then he'd pick up again and be ok. In the end I knew though. The night I stayed up with all night thinking he was going to die here at home. He made it through the night and ended up at the vets early next morning. The last time I saw him, I saw it in his eye's. I remember him struggling to sit up to look at me one last time. I saw that look other people speak of. I wanted to tell the vet to give him his wings there and then while I was there, but couldn't. I just kept thinking what if this, what if that, what IF he comes good again.... He didn't come good again. He passed at the vets during the night without me by his side. I also believe their spirit lives on. In our hearts and in our lives forever. They are never far from us. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful boy. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) msdani .. putting yourself and your dog through days/nights of pain and stress is denying you and he rest . It is filling your mind with painful memories ..your struggle of this last week will maybe the one which sticks at the front of your brain . I have done this deed for pets many times ..and the relief to see them relax ..and to know I do not have to watch them suffer ... well, it helps enormously. Thinking of you .. oh.. I will add this .. our horse .Sally was old, and on treatment for arthritis in her hips due to an old injury. She was rugged , and happy. She started to lie down more ..and then to often have to work harder to get up again . Once , I had to roll her over and help her up ..and then I realised I had a decision to make . of course I put it off . I wanted Sally around forever, to walk with me, and crash parties/BBQ's and to play with the puppies . One morning Sally could not get up .She was there for a few hours ..and though warm, and happily eating her head off , obviously could not stay there. So - I phoned a neighbour who was willing to end her life, and who I knew would do it kindly and respectfully. after a while, he came ..and phoned me to say she was finally up on her feet ! What did I want him to do ? I told him to go ahead, as I could not endure watching it all happen again , and imagining it maybe ending badly. So ..It is terribly difficult , but, we have the power to end the pain and suffering, and love is not denying that. Edited August 31, 2012 by persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teekay Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Just MsDani. I can't say anything to make it easier but I am thinking of you. Please be kind to yourself. You love your dog immensely, what dog could possibly ask for more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 DP is going to make the call - Oh god... Even though it's shattering my heart to pieces, I know it is right - especially when he just woke up and I just had to give him his pain med. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 DP is going to make the call - Oh god...<br style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17.600000381469727px; background-color: rgb(238, 242, 247); "><br style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17.600000381469727px; background-color: rgb(238, 242, 247); ">Even though it's shattering my heart to pieces, I know it is right - especially when he just woke up and I just had to give him his pain med. It will be awful for you .. this little one means a lot to you and how you live ... it may be one of the worst things you do ... we have pretty much all been there, and will be around to offer support . Cuddle him as you always do .. and let the vet give him sleep and peace in your arms .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CavsRcute Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 My Cavalier was diagnosed with a liver tumour and unfortunately 6 weeks later i had to give let her pass.She did not have any treatment as she was 11 and had other issues and there were no guarantees. I let her have whatever she wanted to eat, she did whatever she wanted, slept wherever took her fancy and we went on lots of car trips :) She was Ok for nearly 6 weeks. Then one day she was a bit " off" and I took vet but they coudn't find anything out of the ordinary.I went out that night and had somebody watch her. They called me at 11.30 and I rushed her to the emergency vet. The tumour was pressing on her heart and they couldn't get rid of the fluid. I spent all night with her and about 5.30am she looked at me with her big brown eyes and said enough is enough. I could have kept going with the treatment but it wasn't fair on her as it was very invasive. She was in my arms when they helped her to the bridge. It was very quick and it was incredible the sense of peace and relief that came over her little face. The only thing i regret is that I would have preferred to be at home when she would have been surrounded by her favourite things. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I had to do it to repay all the love that she had given me. I think about her every day and that was nearly 10 years ago. She was the first dog I had as an adult and I was 30years old! I'm sorry this is such a long post but I can really understand where you are at and I know you will the make the right decision for your little one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarope Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 MsDani I am so sorry for you and I know what you are going through, but you must do the right thing for your boy even if it's the hardest decision you've ever had to make. Last October I lost my beautiful GSD Tara to Cancer (Hemangiosarcoma) a very nasty Aggressive Cancer. I was given two options, an operation which might give her a few months or put her to sleep, I put her to sleep because I couldn't put her through all that and still lose her as it was not fair to her. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her, as she was the love of my life and writing this brings tears to my eyes but I know I did the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyd Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I have no words just hugs msdani, I know what you are going through, constantly questioning if its time, not wanting to him to be in pain but not ready for him to leave. I spent the last month of my Holly's life asking these questions, wondering if I would recognise her telling me she has had enough, I really doubted myself thinking I wouldn't but I did. She left so quick I knew I was doing the right thing and I cuddled her and cried for hours after it was done which sounds morbid but really helped me to come to terms with losing my heart Its not wrong, as everyone else here has said, if your not coping neither is he Please know we are here for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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