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What Dog Sports Look Like To The Outside World


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What Dog Sports Look Like to the Outside World.

What Dog Sports Look Like to the Outside World: Part 2

IPO/Schutzund

Angry people shouting in German while a large dog bites the Michelin Man’s ethnic cousin.

Agility

Dog plays on colorful construction equipment while a woman in Lululemon pants and Vibram shoes runs around yelling strange words like “scramble!” and “table!”

Obedience

Frumpy person struts around with dog staring at them adoringly.

Flyball

Lazy people yell at dog to fetch ball over and over and over without actually having to throw the ball.

Nosework

Dog sniffs boxes. Unfortunately, no actual drugs to be found.

Weight-pull

Owner is desperate to move cement blocks ten feet. Not willing to rent a front end loader.

Conformation

Frumpy office managers parade at a synergy convention.

Dock-diving

Loud indecisive gym teachers yelling at Labradors to recreate a Disney documentary.

Herding

Border collies moving sheep into pens and laser light shows.

Treiball

Herding for the avid-indoorsman.

Tracking

A Nature Hike without the nature.

Hunt Tests

Something with a duck in a box and the blind. The duck may or may not be dead but you can’t know until you open the box which still won’t help because you’re blind.

Earthdog

People actively encourage their dogs to fix a rat infestation. Must be too cheap to hire exterminators.

Barn Hunts

Made by the people who hold Earthdog trials and collect money for free rodent control. Geniuses.

Altered Conformation

A drag show for dogs. Suspect duct-tape is involved. Still allows for an alarming amount of hairspray. Absence of awkwardly framed balls in every picture disconcerting.

Canine Freestyle

Solo Square Dancing. Bonus points for an ability to sew massive amounts of sequins on to matching dog/human outfits. High degree of unfounded interest in Billy Ray Cyrus.

Hog trials

Dogs literally bringing home the bacon. Massive amounts of camo make us suspect this might not actually be a real sport and instead a hobby for the weekends there is no Nascar.

Dryland mushing

People with Balto fantasies and no actual desire to be cold. Possibly insane since they are willing to ride on a cart at high speed at the whim of spitzes.

Rally Obedience

Human follows road signs to get from point a to point b in the most indirect route possible. Dog looks on baffled but will assist owner in chasing their own tail. Inexplicably accompanied by lots of clapping and kissing noises.

Lure coursing

Not sure if either owner or dog knows the thing flying around is a bag. Needs further study.

Disc

Dog gymnastics. College kids that never quite got over being picked last for ultimate frisbee.

Dachshund Racing

Flying weiners. Sorry, can’t get farther than snickering about weiners.

Terrier Sprints

Small dogs dashing around over pipes, inside construction fencing while wearing brightly colored vests. Possibly Dog-centric Mario LARP-ing.

Carting

For people that REALLY wanted a pony as a child, but didn’t actually live with Daddy Warbucks. Not sure why they didn’t acquire a pony as an adult. Suspect it’s due to cost of poop bags.

KNPV

Some guy just got hit with a dog and then he rode a bicycle. It’s all very Dutch.

Bikejoring

Also involves a bike and a disconcerting lack of concern for personal well-being. Once again suspect the Dutch/Dutch Courage.

Skiijoring

What the hell? Didn’t we just see this? Oh, skis. Is -joring German for put your life in your dog’s paws?

Dog Scootering

This is ridiculous. Use your own two feet already!

Cani-Cross

Oh…. Ha. Ha. “Own two feet”. I’m pretty sure they already had a name for this e.g. Train your damn dog not to pull you over.

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Had to laugh at the bikejouring one, I do bikejouring and it's SO much fun - I keep trying to convince one of my friends to join me, she insists it looks terrifying and dangerous (especially when we go through the forest in the dark through the mud) :laugh:

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Had to laugh at the bikejouring one, I do bikejouring and it's SO much fun - I keep trying to convince one of my friends to join me, she insists it looks terrifying and dangerous (especially when we go through the forest in the dark through the mud) :laugh:

:rofl: That's just a bike ride with a mad Springer :eek: Doing the ET with Ziggy was enough to make me realise why I don't cycle with my dogs on leash usually. It really hurts when the buggers slam you into the ground!!!

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Love these - what a great find. :coffeesplurk:

As someone that does obedience/rally/agility but also dryland sledding, scootering and cani-cross I had a real giggle (particularly at the spitz comment :D ).

Totally agree with the bikejoring one - you have to be nuts to try that! At least a scooter/rig is close to the ground when you stack.

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Love these - what a great find. :coffeesplurk:

As someone that does obedience/rally/agility but also dryland sledding, scootering and cani-cross I had a real giggle (particularly at the spitz comment :D ).

Totally agree with the bikejoring one - you have to be nuts to try that! At least a scooter/rig is close to the ground when you stack.

Yay fellow person that does way too many dog sports haha!

We do agility/obedience/rally/flygility/tracking/working trials/bikejouring/weightpull/lure coursing and tried scootering once, but it was too hard for Elsie and bikejouring is way faster :thumbsup:

Edited by DiscoDobe
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Yay fellow person that does way too many dog sports haha!

We do agility/obedience/rally/flygility/tracking/working trials/bikejouring/weightpull/lure coursing and tried scootering once, but it was too hard for Elsie and bikejouring is way faster :thumbsup:

Would love to do weightpull but we don't have that in WA. Would also be interested in tracking, but hard enough to do the other sports when you live remote with no teachers, so adding more would just be silly.

I take my hat off to you for bikejoring. There is NO way I would do that. Tried it once and I ended up crashing, falling and hitting the cross bar on the bike. Ouch.

Even my little 18 kg Aussie loves scootering. She tires quickly as is very fast but not powerful so pulling is hard work. But she does seem to enjoy it. Starts barking and getting excited everytime I bring out the scooter :-)

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Even my little 18 kg Aussie loves scootering. She tires quickly as is very fast but not powerful so pulling is hard work. But she does seem to enjoy it. Starts barking and getting excited everytime I bring out the scooter :-)

Same as Elsie, who is 13kg. She LOVES it and is really quick, but it's just too hard on her, especially as our scooter tracks have a lot of sand on them.

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:thumbsup: Very good. No mention of how odd it is for non-doggy folk to see people walk an agility or rally course without dogs though, even I can appreciate how silly that looks! :laugh: Edited by FHRP
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:thumbsup: Very good. No mention of how odd it is for non-doggy folk to see people walk an agility or rally course without dogs though, even I can appreciate how silly that looks! :laugh:

yes , I have seen some funny looks and heard some bewildered comments , from people observing agility walks lol

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:thumbsup: Very good. No mention of how odd it is for non-doggy folk to see people walk an agility or rally course without dogs though, even I can appreciate how silly that looks! :laugh:

yes , I have seen some funny looks and heard some bewildered comments , from people observing agility walks lol

Even retrieving people struggle with that bit - I'm sure some people think we do the same course every time :laugh:

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Same as Elsie, who is 13kg. She LOVES it and is really quick, but it's just too hard on her, especially as our scooter tracks have a lot of sand on them.

Sounds like you need another dog to run with her, and have a 2 dog team :D

Sandy tracks are certainly harder work for the dog and the musher...much harder to pull, and much easier to fall off when the scooter digs in!

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