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Has Anyone Ever Judged The Way You Raise Your Dog?


Steph M
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I get routinely judged - often by family eg my brother for not teaching my dog the meaning of the word "No"...

He taught his previous dog the meaning of the word "no" by tying it with a long rope to something immovable - and then letting it run flat out after whatever and just before it got to the end of the rope he'd yell "NO".

FFS.

We totally disagree on how to train my dog. Who likes him but won't do anything he says. And is insanely naughty at his house but he - my brother - continually interferes with my training to the point where now his cat is terrified of my dog... because he said - let my dog go - the cat will teach my dog to leave her alone. ERM Backfire much? Dog taught cat to run. Without touching it.

And he's fine with my dog "sorting out" his groodle that he has now - which my dog is perfectly capable of doing - but now she hates all groodle like dogs and will get them before they can get her. And it can be painful for the groodle. And walks for me are not so much fun. Sigh.

I fell for that shit. I really ought to know better. But he's family - argh.

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My responses to things like this are usually along the lines of "and this effects you how?" If the way I interact with my dogs is such an issue for some of the people in my life I tell them that perhaps it would be better if they avoid me in the future. Works like a charm!

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My mother had aot of issues with how we treat our beagles ie. in the house, on the couch, in the bed etc, we feed a raw diet etc. She was quite snarky about it and I was really disappointed, I hoped she would love her grand puppies........

Then one day, we were at her place, all in the living room together and mum was nowhere to be seen....I investigated......Outside, on the patio, mum was sitting with one beagle in her lap, and she was stroking the other....Bless. I didnt say a word, but all of a sudden the comments stopped, the gifts and toys started coming, and now they get their own Christmas card and toys every year.

She now embraces what she calls "our way" and accept that the beagles are true to their breed (she struggled with their obsession with food). She thinks they are very lucky beagles. Win thumbsup1.gif

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There are all sorts of crazy and silly things people will judge you over.

My family make fun of me for being obsessed with dogs, but less so since it's my career and life now (so it wasn't "just a phase", ha!).

There are people who disagree with the way I raise and train the dogs, people still think and tell you playing tug will make them aggressive :laugh:

I used to be conscious of not posting too much dog stuff on Facebook for fear my non dog friends would think I was weird or crazy, but I don't do that anymore. This is who I am, it's my life - my work my hobby and my passion. If my friends don't support that, too bad.

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I can tell I get judged for making Ollie sleep in a 'cage' at night.

Oh yes, Mum was very judgemental of my horribly cruel "cages", until a weekend when I brought all 4 (at the time) with me to her house because there were fires near home and they literally would not have fit in Nathan's tiny car. I set their crates up on the decking outside, and she saw how excited they were to go into them and how they immediately settled and went to sleep. She's not quite a convert, but she hasn't said another word about how cruel crates are :)

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I think people do think I'm crazy, but no one has said it haha.

When I first quit my job as a beauty therapist and started working as a kennel hand at a boarding kennel, people use to call it my hobby job and they would always suggest i work for so and so who is looking for a new beauty therapist!

Now that I work full time as a manager at the boarding kennel people have stopped calling it a hobby and now say how nice it is!

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I have a friend who always comments about taking my Lab home with her and fattening her up... the same friend who called me to come to help get her fat Lab to the vet when his hips dissolved and he had to go to the Bridge.

I tend to pick friends who also love animals and don't think I'm a crazy dog lady... and now I also have a passion for going to the zoos, I have lots of zookeeper friends who make me look very "normal" in my selection of animal companions... lol!

My Mum has resigned herself to the fact that I'm always going to have multiple dogs, and she even sends them birthday cards and christmas presents from "grandma" now... *grin*

T.

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I'm glad its not just me!

Mum is a silent judger, she's appalled at the amount of money we spend on them, which isn't much, but more than she would.

Other than that I let my pooches speak for themselves. We have made huge leaps with Rosie, and Gus is growing up to be a beautiful dog. Whatever! Haha.

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Basically, my uncle just sent me a message after seeing our Facebook photos of the dogs at the snow and today I posted a photo of the two of them asleep on the couch when I got home.

He said something like 'as long as you know that's not how normal dogs are raised'

I get along quite well with him normally, but this really nicked me off.

Its not like they live solely inside and always in pyjamas (the photo from the snow that set him off) and never get to be dogs.

They're all raw fed, have a large yard and lots of shelter and bedding, pools, fresh water and an hour walk a day.

Sure they stay in when its cold/hot/raining excessively or the like and yes, they have coats. Rosie gets cold and Gus looks damn spunky in his leopard fleece coat!

I'm not seeking validation or anything (I know my dogs are happy, healthy and very cool), just having a vent and wondering what others experiences was?

I've never had it happen before, it seemed so odd. Why should anyone else care?

FYI I pretty much said 'normal is what you make it, but our dogs are well adjusted, well behaved and live a great life!'

Haha! I would have said something like, yeah it's so sad how many dogs are just left outside, don't go for walks, don't get trained and are lonely for much of their lives.

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I've not had judgement on the way I raise my girls, but I have had judgement over my doggy passion (or obsession). One of my sisters HATED how much time I spent at dog shows - which is not all that often, this was sparked by me going to two shows in a month - but I ignored it until we had a blow up over something else and she realised how much they mean to me, and that this isn't a passing phase (nearly 4 years now!) and now she buys me spotty cushions and cute fridge magnets that say "my next dog will be normal" and it cracks me up. She has totally come around to my side.

I ignored it, totally kept pursuing my passion and not hiding it. She made me feel bad that I should love something like this (she's totally into Raw food and no sugar and all that which I find equally strange).

Maybe he saw it and felt bad about how his dogs live? Idk, just a thought.

That's good she's come around to your side. I don't think non dog people really understand the commitment levels that we can get. You should've heard some of the comments from family friends when Mum told them I'm entering shows and training for trials... Apparently that's a horrible hobby and will repel men!

Groan! Because finding a man should be the soul objective in your life, and you mustn't do anything to compromise it!

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My parents have never been the biggest dog lovers, always wondered why I had dogs, would fuss when I brought them with me to visit them. Generally negatively judged me over anything I did regarding the dog- spoilt was the word often said.

My sister and her family with 3 young boys are currently living with them & offered (with my parents permission) to look after Honey while I was away o/s for 2 weeks. They have a big enclosed yard and I knew the boys would love the opportunity, so I agreed as I figured the worst that would happen is that Honey would spend 2 weeks outside in the day, because my parents would fuss. Better than a kennel though.

By the time I got home, Honey had converted them all!!! :laugh: She had been spoilt rotten- and fed so much that my Dad ( :eek: ) went to PetBarn and bought her some more premium food! He did comment on the cost- but as I pointed out, USUALLY it lasts me about 3 months!! :laugh: He raved & raved about what a wonderful dog she is. :D

Funnily, now she's at home, Honey has been extremely well behaved- I think she was glad to escape the constant loving!! :laugh:

Anyway, now I'm thrilled that I can boast of a family who loves my dog!! (My husband could still do with some improvement though!)

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All the time - mostly family..

My father was disgusted that I spent well over $10k on Ollie's treatments when he had MCT and the ongoing treatments over the next 6 years.

He said 'he should be put out of his misery'.. Ollie was loved and not in pain, so I didn't see the point of giving up.

Now he carries on about the amount of time I spend 'training' Zig - he always asks 'isn't it trained yet'..

I don't bother trying to explain any more. This is a man who won't let his wife keep her Chi in the house because she did a wee inside. Poor baby girl sleeps under the house and is a backyard dog..

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Anyone who raises their dogs or holds views on how dogs should be raised that are different to yours and that has a certain kind of character will do this.

I don't worry about it. I'm happy I do right by my dogs and I honestly don't give a toss what other people think.

The only thing I'm ever likely to say is to ask how they feel when people feel the need to comment on how they should be raising their kids. Most get the parallel and shut up.

Edited by Haredown Whippets
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I agree with HW. People do probably think I'm a crazy dog person, but I really don't care and if I was told I was, it would just go in one ear and out the other.

That being said I am critical of the way some other people care for their dogs. :laugh: And their children :laugh:

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I've not had judgement on the way I raise my girls, but I have had judgement over my doggy passion (or obsession). One of my sisters HATED how much time I spent at dog shows - which is not all that often, this was sparked by me going to two shows in a month - but I ignored it until we had a blow up over something else and she realised how much they mean to me, and that this isn't a passing phase (nearly 4 years now!) and now she buys me spotty cushions and cute fridge magnets that say "my next dog will be normal" and it cracks me up. She has totally come around to my side.

I ignored it, totally kept pursuing my passion and not hiding it. She made me feel bad that I should love something like this (she's totally into Raw food and no sugar and all that which I find equally strange).

Maybe he saw it and felt bad about how his dogs live? Idk, just a thought.

That's good she's come around to your side. I don't think non dog people really understand the commitment levels that we can get. You should've heard some of the comments from family friends when Mum told them I'm entering shows and training for trials... Apparently that's a horrible hobby and will repel men!

Groan! Because finding a man should be the soul objective in your life, and you mustn't do anything to compromise it!

Of course Raineth, can't waste time with trivial nonsense, I'll be an old maid before I know it laugh.gif

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Once (and only once) has this happened to me and I did not handle it well. My heart girl Stussy is a love bug so if you are at her level and looking her way then she will do whatever it takes to coerce you into sharing some of your love with her. We were all sitting on the ground at the park after a group doggy play date and Stussy could not sit still and was licking and flinging herself on our laps for belly scratches. She was a bit hyped up still (the other dogs were pooped) but my sister's friend pinned her forcibly to the ground with her body trying to force her to just lie still on the grass. Stussy's eyes were bulging, she was struggling and she looked in fear. It was totally uncalled for in my mind and I flipped. I would never, ever want Stussy to lose her zest for life and people she is comfortable with by being physically forced to behave in a way unnatural to her personality. Of course there is a time and place for this kind of doggy exuberance and I would never let her behave like this to strangers or people who are scared of or don't like dogs but this person also has a tiny dog that happens to do exactly the same thing (but in a smaller package) so I saw red when she decided she needed to physically discipline my dog for me. I still haven't forgiven my sister's friend for this. She no longer visits and there have been no more group play dates.

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