Jump to content

Separation Anxiety


JulesP
 Share

Recommended Posts

I have been really tense since that incident with the neighbors.

Recap: my dogs got wrongly accused of barking heaps but I did discover that they howl for a short period when I leave.

I have been doing some work on me leaving being a great thing. Mainly by feeding them as I leave. This is working fairly well as they are now running in a happy fashion to their bowls if I put the garage door up.

However I am super stressed and it is making leaving the house a bit of a drama. There is quite a short period of time that I have to bolt out. Plus sometimes you want to just leave! A friend told me I was being silly yesterday when I got stressed about being picked up because I had to do this routine.

How bothered are you by your dogs barking when you leave/come home etc?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Im not bothered when they greet me- but i know they dont make noise when i leave.

whenever they see my keys (and not my keys and their leads) or hear the treat jar they run to their mats. Sometimes i think they are way too excited for me to leave so they get their treat laugh.gif

I usually use a treat everytime as i put them outside and it makes it quicker but i dont have to and theyre fine too.

When i come home its usually a serious of "woo"s and whines. Not so much barking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've always had a feeding routine when I leave, so I'm used to it. nixon knows it inside out and can't wait for me to leave for work so he can start chomping on his peanut butter kongs! It is seriously the best part of his day and he's so freaking excited. The excitement makes me happy, and the whole routine is very quick and easy. I give him his stuff, go back inside and shut the door, then do my last few things like washing hands, grabbing handbag, turn on dishwasher etc, then leave. He couldn't care less.

If I have to go out unexpectedly I usually just give him a carrot cos it's quick and easy. He expects to get fed when I leave so it keeps him happy. It's like it's a signal for him not to worry.

I'm sure once you get used to the routine it won't bother you at all! It sounds like the dogs are adapting really well - hang in there!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We don't bribe ours or teach them to expect a routine ,The simple fact is we need to leave & they need to stay home alone so they are taught from day 1 ,barking is not accepted on returning ,

We live in an area where known of this matters but the dogs knowing the routine makes life better for them ,we work from home so the dogs are use to alot of human company but they also know that being alone is a must ,

Would it annoy me yes & as i travel with the dogs i have to set them up for success & not be stressed

Edited by showdog
Link to comment
Share on other sites

SG, I can't speak for showdog, but we had a little dog that would bark when left home alone. The vet behaviourist told us that the barking was a form of demanding, so we were never to give her any attention if she barked or made any other noise asking for attention. Like, when we'd come home, she'd jump around & squeal. We had to turn our backs, no eye contact... then wait until she was quiet & not looking for attiention... and only then give her attention. It was supposed to teach her that noise doesn't get good things but being quiet does.

Along with other things... which included a routine before & after leaving (like Jules is doing)... it worked!

Jules, whatever routine works for your dogs, go for it. I found it got into a habit!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear your pain Jules. Does sound rather stressful.

I don't know if it is luck, our breed or good management but ours simply do not bark or whinge when we leave or arrive. They are trained from day 1 to be comfortable and confident in their own company and that we are in charge of everything.

Yes, they spend a lot of time with us and with each other, but only when we are completely convinced that they are doing so because we want them to, not because they need to.

Whenever we happen to chat with our neighbours (small blocks, high density) they always say that if they had never seen us with our dogs out the front, they would never even know we have them, they are so quiet.

When someone knocks at the door, we will get an alerting "woof" that's it, no more. We say "thank you" to let them know we are onto it and they are fine with that.

Our dogs don't bark with excitement, we discourage that behaviour, so it just doesn't happen. However they will bark on command, but we only use this in training, not as an alert or excitement game.

Edited by Starkehre
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am extremely "bothered". If I knew he only barked for a short time when I left or arrived home I would be ecstatic! As it is I know that he will commence barking about 10 minutes after I leave - no matter what I do in the way of "distractions" - and not stop until I walk in the door. Unless I leave him with someone I can't enjoy any outing at all. I hate it but my OH doesn't really think it is a problem as nobody has complained and we have tried everything to cure him so his attitude is just to let him bark. It doesn't make for a happy life though :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rosetta, does your dog bark even if you leave him with a chew or treat toy?

I am also lucky that my dogs have never barked upon leaving / return. Lots of happy whines and crying when I return, but never barking. I tend to leave my girl with a chew or puzzle toy before I leave the house for work, although it is more to keep her occupied when alone rather than to stop non-existent barking. She doesn't bark even if I leave her with nothing, thank goodness. I discourage barking altogether though my Aussie will give warning barks if people get too close to the property. She stops once I go to check it out and thank her. Funnily enough she doesn't bark when people knock on the door, she only barks if they are skulking around outside. And before she barks, she will tell me that she is about to bark by coming to me and giving off little 'whisper barks'... like little under her breath huffy 'woofs'... it is quite cute, and I can check out what is going on outside before she starts actually barking. Otherwise her bark is really ear-piercing and has made me jump about two feet in the air so I am very thankful she warns me in advance that a bark is on the way! :rofl:

Edited by silentchild
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Showdog, how do you teach them that barking is not accepted?

Very easy going out & coming home isn't turned into a drama of giving treats,toys or anything that sets up a routine of them nowing.

We work from home ,they have our attention all day every day BUT when we go out they know the its no big deal.

There not greeted like its the last time they will ever see us again ,life is normal from day 1 through to old age .

We create the bad habits & accept them until things go pear shaped ,i prefer to set them up from puppies & my dogs sleep on the bed .

We get people who pick up there dosg from grooming ,just 2 hrs & when they collect them the owners go crazy making such a big deal out of being left,dogs bark,wet themselves & go bonkers then after a few mins it drives the owners crazy so then there telling them off .

We will tell people hey its not the dogs fault that you encouraged a reaction then now its no fun its the dogs fault

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yes - tried kongs, puzzle toys, thundershirts, music, adaptil, behaviourists, etc etc. We got him at two years of age so unfortunately the behaviour was firmly entrenched and seemingly incurable. I wouldn't have taken him if I had known of course and I think the only possible solution now would be rehoming to a multiple dog household but the family won't hear of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been really tense since that incident with the neighbors.

Recap: my dogs got wrongly accused of barking heaps but I did discover that they howl for a short period when I leave.

I have been doing some work on me leaving being a great thing. Mainly by feeding them as I leave. This is working fairly well as they are now running in a happy fashion to their bowls if I put the garage door up.

However I am super stressed and it is making leaving the house a bit of a drama. There is quite a short period of time that I have to bolt out. Plus sometimes you want to just leave! A friend told me I was being silly yesterday when I got stressed about being picked up because I had to do this routine.

How bothered are you by your dogs barking when you leave/come home etc?

I've had two barking complaints from Council at two different houses. I used to be a teacher so after the long Christmas holidays the dogs would be very unhappy when I returned to work and would carry on when I left and then when I arrived home.

I used to drive around the block and then wait down the street to see how long they were barking for. And on other days I would sneak home early and sit quietly in the house to see what was happening. I was so stressed so can empathise with you.

I found that really ignoring the dogs whenever they wanted attention worked. Really the basics of NILIF. Lots of attention is given but only when the dogs are happily sitting off by themselves somewhere.

Now I'm not working the dogs still go outside in the morning and then if I am home for the day I bring them back in about lunch time. Then I usually let them out again after a few hours until they are fed (only fed when they are quiet and settled) and then they come back in. If I'm distracted and forget to let them in they bark to let me know, but I ignore that until they are quiet again before bringing them in.

They also used to follow me everywhere - I would turn around and fall over a dog! This has now stopped and the dogs are much more relaxed and so am I!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's like a military operation when I go out :). And although I'm on 2 acres and the dogs are crated in the house, I still won't go out at night because of their barking. I think they're actually pretty good when I'm out now though (neighbour hasn't mentioned the barking since I've been putting them in the house) but I'm still super conscious of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yes - tried kongs, puzzle toys, thundershirts, music, adaptil, behaviourists, etc etc. We got him at two years of age so unfortunately the behaviour was firmly entrenched and seemingly incurable. I wouldn't have taken him if I had known of course and I think the only possible solution now would be rehoming to a multiple dog household but the family won't hear of it.

If mine barked like that and I needed to go out and was worried about noise complaints I would put a bark colalr on him before I left, leave him with stuff to do and go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MIne don't bark on leave or returning however they are a quiet breed. The BC will bark at inane things like planes flying over or the moon so he gets told to shut up once then gets a bark collar on. He then thinks about it for quite a few months before trying again.

Mine are in the dog yard when I leave, they have toys and will sometimes get a treat or bone, sometimes not. they just go an lay down somewhere. When we turn up they run to the fence, maybe whine a bit but are ignored until I am ready to lay them out, the don't bark at all between me getting home and getting them though.

I got Lewis as an older dog and he did bark and whinge for a while if I got home and didn't let him out straight away. HAving a shift owrking husband that didn't work, so he got a squirt of the hose every time, within a week he stopped.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I work from home but the dogs are outside during the day so I am a bit surprised that they are so unhappy about me leaving. They aren't actually barking. They are howling! Full on lonely wolf howls. Luckily they don't do it for long. They don't bark when I get home. Poppy squeals a bit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SG, I can't speak for showdog, but we had a little dog that would bark when left home alone. The vet behaviourist told us that the barking was a form of demanding, so we were never to give her any attention if she barked or made any other noise asking for attention. Like, when we'd come home, she'd jump around & squeal. We had to turn our backs, no eye contact... then wait until she was quiet & not looking for attiention... and only then give her attention. It was supposed to teach her that noise doesn't get good things but being quiet does.

Along with other things... which included a routine before & after leaving (like Jules is doing)... it worked!

Jules, whatever routine works for your dogs, go for it. I found it got into a habit!

Thanks mita, that makes sense. I'm glad it worked!

I was interested in showdog's response because I've seen people say on here that they don't allow or don't accept barking and I always wonder about what that actually means. Obviously you can't just say to a dog "that's not acceptable" and have them not do something, there has to be some kind of action to communicate what you do and don't want to the dog.

Showdog, how do you teach them that barking is not accepted?

Very easy going out & coming home isn't turned into a drama of giving treats,toys or anything that sets up a routine of them nowing.

We work from home ,they have our attention all day every day BUT when we go out they know the its no big deal.

There not greeted like its the last time they will ever see us again ,life is normal from day 1 through to old age .

We create the bad habits & accept them until things go pear shaped ,i prefer to set them up from puppies & my dogs sleep on the bed .

We get people who pick up there dosg from grooming ,just 2 hrs & when they collect them the owners go crazy making such a big deal out of being left,dogs bark,wet themselves & go bonkers then after a few mins it drives the owners crazy so then there telling them off .

We will tell people hey its not the dogs fault that you encouraged a reaction then now its no fun its the dogs fault

I wonder whether it is that easy when it comes to dogs that have a really strong barking instinct or tendency. I'm not saying I don't believe it is that easy, just that I genuinely don't know.

My Sheltie is a BARKY dog. His first reaction to any stimulus at all is to bark and he's been like that since he learned to bark according to his breeder. She told me that in passing when I picked him up and not having had a barky dog before I didn't realise the implications. If left to his own devices he would seriously bark when he's excited, nervous, startled, waiting for food, playing with another dog, sees a bird, hears the wind, hears the neighbours gate, hears another dog, sees another dog/cat/horse/anything on tv, plays fetch, needs to go out to toilet, and sometimes apparently just because he hasn't said anything for a while.

He has learnt a "shh" cue, he will 'hold it in' for food and treats because he's learnt I won't give him anything if he isn't quiet, he'll stop if i interrupt him with his name if he seems to be barking at nothing and he wears a citronella bark collar at home now so rarely barks there any more but the instinct is still there, he's just able to control it when asked now.

I'd be very interested to start over with him (obviously i can't) now that I have a lot more knowledge and have experienced just what it's like to live with a really barky dog so would be very aware of what I was doing with him right from the beginning. I do definitely think it would make a big difference to have the dog from day 1. As I said, he was already a barker before he even came to me and although I expect I could have changed things if I'd gotten onto him just a bit earlier having him learn to bark and presumably be around other barking dogs initially put us behind the 8 ball I suspect.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...