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My Dog Is Friendly


Ashling
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On our walk today there was a man walking his smallish dog off leash. Usually we just walk straight past dogs because I know how excited my boy can get when he sees them. But the man had to keep calling the dog back to him as it moved closer to us and this excited my boy a lot. He didn't bark but did make a screaming sound a couple times. The man managed to pick up his dog and I managed to keep control of my dog although he was pulling me in their direction. My boy is very big and dark and I guess looks really scary to some but he was just excited and really happy to see another dog. I didn't say anything, just kept going as the man looked at us like we were the most dangerous things around and told my dog to get out of it. As he walked away he kept a good watch on us.

It was really upsetting to think he saw my boy as a threat. I don't know how someone can miss the cue that he was just super happy. Anyway. I understand that some people have fears for good reasons etc. We are working hard on him not getting so excited like that and he is much better but every now and then he will still do that excited scream. He loves dogs so much. The moment he gets to them he is all calm and nice but his scream is like telling me we have to go over there and he will start pulling then.

I just wondered what would be the best thing to say to the other person in a situation like this? I don't want to say 'don't worry, he's friendly' because to them he really may not look it but I do want to say something so they don't look at us with such fear. What would you do/say?

Thanks.

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I wouldn't worry about what the other owner was thinking, after all you don't really know what he was thinking. Perhaps he was more worried about his dog's behaviour than your dog's.

Also I would just say that it might be beneficial whenever you possibly can to keep your dog at a distance from other dogs in which he can concentrate on you rather than be too focussed on another dog as overly friendly behaviour can turn into frustration and then aggression toward other dogs. Best of luck with him :)

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I have a very hard time getting him to focus on me at all when there is another dog (when he's on leash). I used training treats for a long time and that did help. I had to basically shove the treats into his mouth because he still wouldn't take his eyes off the other dog but did get a bit better after that. I found the best thing was to just not pay any attention to the other dog myself and just walk by. He is very well trained and well behaved but it's like he can't focus on anything else but to get to that other dog to say hi. I've tried a few different methods too and I just can't get him to focus on me at all when normally he would. I am thinking of getting a trainer for it because even though it's a lot better than what it has been, he's now walking just on his collar and I found it hard to hold him back today without his harness. I really wish we could get over this.

He doesn't always do it. The other day we saw a little dog that was crazy excited to see us and my boy just sat there and waited like I told him to and for some reason his focus was on me then but generally it won't be. It might be the kind of dogs? It really upsets me that this happens sometimes.

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I'd apologise and say "I'm sorry. He's really keen to say hi, we are working on that" and keep walking.

I have a big black excitable dog too but if he carries on he doesn't get to meet anyone.

I remember how I felt when he was a puppy and a big dog converged on him, friendly or not, its not a nice feeling, but letting people know it's a work in progress will probably gain you some more tolerance.

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.... and I managed to keep control of my dog although he was pulling me in their direction. My boy is very big and dark and I guess looks really scary to some but he was just excited and really happy to see another dog.....

...your dog might be friendly, but as it is a big dog and other people see you struggling to control him it could still lead to dangerous scenarios. Sometimes when I walk our dog we bump into a lady with a young Rottweiler, a beautiful, friendly and playful dog - however, she has only limited control over him: the last time he pulled her straight across the road!...of course people are worried as they might doubt that you can control your dog.

...get him into obedience training ASAP - he will love it!!!

Edited by Willem
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Sometimes the overly friendly dogs are the biggest threat. Some dogs and owners just want to be left alone. one of my dogs hated over excited dogs in her face, so I always avoided the "friendly" dogs. Remember that "friendly" is often code for dogs who don't respect other dogs space, are over excitable with no self control. That isn't actually friendly behaviour to other dogs at all.

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Sometimes the overly friendly dogs are the biggest threat. Some dogs and owners just want to be left alone. one of my dogs hated over excited dogs in her face, so I always avoided the "friendly" dogs. Remember that "friendly" is often code for dogs who don't respect other dogs space, are over excitable with no self control. That isn't actually friendly behaviour to other dogs at all.

:thumbsup: yep, very well said. They are just ill mannered dogs and I won't subject my dogs to them.

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You say, 'This is not an off lead area. Please control your dog by following the law and putting it on lead.'

Yep. Or don't say anything. The person with the offlead dog has the responsibility to keep theirs away from any on-lead dogs. Don't worry about the other owner and just focus on helping your little buddy.

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...that's another tool that gives great trainings results: My link...I use it for our dog (she gets very exited when she sees other dogs too) beside clicker training and the obedience training in the club and can see the first results: ...on Saturday, when I played the 'leave it - take it' game with her before the official obedience training started she was in the middle of running off towards an other dog, when she was halfway approaching the other dog she turned back and continued playing with me!...the first time I really could call her back when she was in 'play with another dog' mode.

Clicker training (other forum members recommended it to me) is another excellent and simple method to train the focus (I actually don't use the clicker anymore but copy the sound with my tongue - much easier) - the big advantage is that you can do this kind of training everywhere and in situations without any stress. By increasing the stress level slowly the clicker sound gives you more and more control...very simple, very effective.

...then in the obedience training the dogs just get used to that other dogs are around and once they are in training mode it is amazing how little they are distracted by other dogs - here you also train passing other dogs without loosing the focus...

You are lucky as you have a friendly dog, so it is much easier to train him in an environment where other dogs are around...and the fun is for free :D .

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You say, 'This is not an off lead area. Please control your dog by following the law and putting it on lead.'

....the OP didn't mention that it was 'not and off lead area'????

Didn't say either way but given most areas are not off lead I'm pretty confident in positing it wasn't.

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Thanks everyone.

It was NOT an off leash area. It was a suburban street and I have seen this dog play outside the front of it's house and on the street alone before and have purposefully turned around to go the other way then. The man didn't even have a leash with him. I wasn't able to see them coming this time since it was around a bend.

My dog hasn't had any formal obedience training but I'd like to do that. I did do clicker training but will work on it again in these situations. Maybe take him somewhere from a far where there are other dogs and get closer and closer. I like that idea of getting the dogs to walk by each other in training. We haven't had much of an opportunity to play with other dogs. No one I know has dogs and we haven't been to dog parks much. The few times we have, he's really good with other dogs, very polite and very submissive and happy. I get worried of other dogs too though because he wouldn't defend himself. When I took him as a pup we would always get jumped on by other dogs just when they saw him (not even when he was right next to them) so I became really scared to socialise him with other dogs for a while but he loves dogs so much and I think he just really needs to play with them regularly.

I know what it's like being rushed at by other dogs so I definitely don't let my boy ever approach other dogs on walks unless the other person approaches us. This dog today didn't look scared. It looked happy to see us and was trying to get across the road to us but the man kept calling it back. It would go back then try to come over again (he had no leash) and did this repeatedly until he finally picked the dog up. Our dogs never got within a few metres of each other.

I understand it looks scary to other dog walkers and sometimes their dogs and I don't want this to happen. I want to be able to just walk by nice and calm. I really don't want people to see him as scary because he is the most friendly and kind dog around to all. But the screaming has to stop and the pulling me like he did today. He doesn't pull anymore otherwise which is why he's no longer on a harness.

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I have a very hard time getting him to focus on me at all when there is another dog (when he's on leash). I used training treats for a long time and that did help. I had to basically shove the treats into his mouth because he still wouldn't take his eyes off the other dog but did get a bit better after that. I found the best thing was to just not pay any attention to the other dog myself and just walk by. He is very well trained and well behaved but it's like he can't focus on anything else but to get to that other dog to say hi. I've tried a few different methods too and I just can't get him to focus on me at all when normally he would. I am thinking of getting a trainer for it because even though it's a lot better than what it has been, he's now walking just on his collar and I found it hard to hold him back today without his harness. I really wish we could get over this.

He doesn't always do it. The other day we saw a little dog that was crazy excited to see us and my boy just sat there and waited like I told him to and for some reason his focus was on me then but generally it won't be. It might be the kind of dogs? It really upsets me that this happens sometimes.

I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks - just concentrate on your dog and what you want him to do..

Shoving training treats in, is often a good way to distract them and keep their focus on you.

Start by doing this at home - use lots of his favourite treats and every time he looks at you - give him another one. Then add 'look' as a command (or choose a command that you want to use when out and about), with the treats when he looks at you. Only spend a minute or so on it a couple of times a day.

Once he is focusing on you at home, take the training out to the driveway.

Once he can focus on you at home and in the driveway, take the training out onto the street in front of your house.

Once he has that down, take it on your walk.. It won't be long before he is doing it everywhere with the word 'look' or whatever command you choose.

Build it up, set him up to succeed and get the reward - don't take him out and about and expect him to be able to do what he does at home (with little or no distraction).

Another thing to consider is what treats you are using.

In a low distraction environment (like home), maybe liver treats or schmacko things are fine - but unless they are his most favourite thing in the world, they won't work out on a walk (where the distraction level is so much higher). You may need to resort to BBQ chicken or cheese or cabanossi or cooked sausage, when you are out and about.

I know my boy will work for a squeaky ball or a tug toy, much better than any food treat I could offer..

I can't remember who told me but they put it like this - would you do any job for the same pay?

Some jobs are worth much better pay than other jobs.

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Maybe take him somewhere from a far where there are other dogs and get closer and closer. I like that idea of getting the dogs to walk by each other in training. We haven't had much of an opportunity to play with other dogs. No one I know has dogs and we haven't been to dog parks much. The few times we have, he's really good with other dogs, very polite and very submissive and happy. I get worried of other dogs too though because he wouldn't defend himself. When I took him as a pup we would always get jumped on by other dogs just when they saw him (not even when he was right next to them) so I became really scared to socialise him with other dogs for a while but he loves dogs so much and I think he just really needs to play with them regularly.

That's a good starting method, as it sounds like he's working himself up and getting so excited he can't think! When he starts doing like what he did today, move back further away (perhaps not with today's particular dog though, wouldn't want it crossing the road and getting run over) and work on that focus. But only give the treats/click when he looks at you, I would think, since he's already happy to look at the dogs. Then when he's doing that pretty reliably, move on closer.

For what to say to people, do not say "he's friendly!" As someone else said, that's really just code for "bouncy and not respectful of other dogs" for some of us. Personally, if I hear someone say that I am turning around and going the other way.

Instead, use phrases like "Sorry he's in training/we're working on this/he's over excited just a second." You might even be able to ask them to stay where they are so you can work on the behaviour? i.e. "Sorry, we are working on this. Could you and your dog just stay there for a second" - then move back a bit until he behaves and reward him there.

And never let him drag you over to another dog to say hi, make it so he only gets to say hello to other dogs if he does it calmly. Even if you have to keep stopping and starting. But then his reward for being calm is to sniff the other dog!

You'll need to find dogs to practice on though :p Obedience classes are good, even if you do not attend the class itself - before and after you can hang around and see if anyone is willing to practice on you! (I might interlope on two extra classes each week, myself. ;) no-one has minded).

I'm sure all these methods have suitable names/acronyms that I don't know the name of XD but things I have found useful.

Edited by Thistle the dog
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Thanks everyone.

It was NOT an off leash area. It was a suburban street and I have seen this dog play outside the front of it's house and on the street alone before and have purposefully turned around to go the other way then. The man didn't even have a leash with him. I wasn't able to see them coming this time since it was around a bend.

My dog hasn't had any formal obedience training but I'd like to do that. I did do clicker training but will work on it again in these situations. Maybe take him somewhere from a far where there are other dogs and get closer and closer. I like that idea of getting the dogs to walk by each other in training. We haven't had much of an opportunity to play with other dogs. No one I know has dogs and we haven't been to dog parks much. The few times we have, he's really good with other dogs, very polite and very submissive and happy. I get worried of other dogs too though because he wouldn't defend himself. When I took him as a pup we would always get jumped on by other dogs just when they saw him (not even when he was right next to them) so I became really scared to socialise him with other dogs for a while but he loves dogs so much and I think he just really needs to play with them regularly.

I know what it's like being rushed at by other dogs so I definitely don't let my boy ever approach other dogs on walks unless the other person approaches us. This dog today didn't look scared. It looked happy to see us and was trying to get across the road to us but the man kept calling it back. It would go back then try to come over again (he had no leash) and did this repeatedly until he finally picked the dog up. Our dogs never got within a few metres of each other.

I understand it looks scary to other dog walkers and sometimes their dogs and I don't want this to happen. I want to be able to just walk by nice and calm. I really don't want people to see him as scary because he is the most friendly and kind dog around to all. But the screaming has to stop and the pulling me like he did today. He doesn't pull anymore otherwise which is why he's no longer on a harness.

If you have already done some work with the clicker, then the Look At That Game is your best friend :) Have a read hereLAT

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I just wouldn't worry about the other owners reaction, he may have all sorts of reasons for being worried about other dogs including prior experiences or general nervousness but at the end of the day he was the one breaking the law.

I would just concentrate on your dog's behaviour for your own sake, even if he is just friendly now that kind of frustration can become a problem, so I would work on self control and social skills with him, and getting him to look to you for guidance in those kind of situations.

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