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My Special Little Boy


luvmybulldog
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You were always just here and now you're not and there is just a huge big hole and I can't stop crying. You're not following me around the house from room to room and you're not on my lap on the couch and you're not snuffling around the garden anymore chasing whatever moves and I can never hold you again, you're just not here and nothing will ever be the same. You bought the fun to the house and you were the buffer between the two girls and now it's just too quiet and too empty without you. You taught me so many things from the day you came home with me, I'd lost both Dozer and my Dad a few months before and you were going to help me get through but you were such an independent tiny little thing and I had to work so hard getting you to even like me. I thought you would be all bouncy and snuggly and a typical puppy but not you, you were such a serious, independent and aloof little guy that I thought I'd made the wrong choice. It made it all the harder to watch when you would see my (step) Dad and would go absolutely crazy bonkers to be all over him. You occupied my time so much with all the trying to understand why you weren't what I thought you'd be and trying to turn you into what I wanted you to be and I was so busy trying it took my mind away from the losses I'd had. I used to kiss you goodnight every night when you were on the end of my bed and ask you for a kiss back and it took you two years to walk up to my pillow where you stood and looked at me and when I said kiss you made me cry when you leaned in and licked me for the very first time. We've had years of kisses from then and I thought we would still have years more and now you're just not here for me to cuddle and keep warm and safe and I'm just completely broken. My beautiful special little boy with the gorgeous wise old man eye's - everyone who met you loved you but no one loved you more than I do and I miss you and I just wish you were still here5b79ef45-ae93-4ccf-b952-9255fb48d731_zpsentfdhds.jpg?t=1464947333

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I could hear your total love and devotion in the words that you wrote. He looked like a beautiful whiskery boy. He was lucky to have you in his life as well. ????

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Such love and devotion from both sides (eventually after two years), when your heart dog goes to the bridge they take a big bit of us with them.

Fly precious boy to the :rainbowbridge: and big :hug: to you at this sad time.

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I know everyone on here understands how I'm feeling right now and I thank you all for your kind words and thoughts for me and Hoover. My little guy made such a huge impact in my life and at the moment everything just feels so wrong.

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I am so sorry, I just saw this because I hardly ever come here ( too gutless) and I haven't been at the park much. They are never with us for long enough, you could tell how much he meant to you whenever you spoke about him. Sending peace and strength.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh my, so many tears I have reading through your post. How beautifully written, how much of a big story, so much you tell in just one post. I am so sorry for your loss, what a beautiful special boy and a huge loss. Time will heal and he will forever be part of you. What a special time you had together. in this life. Big hugs.

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  • 11 months later...

One year today since I had to say goodbye to you my gorgeous little man. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I wish I could have had some time to get my head around saying goodbye before you had to go, it all just felt so rushed and I wasn't ready and I just wanted the clock to stop for a while so I could come to some acceptance of what needed to be done. Most of all I wish I could go back and have an outcome that would have you still here with me today. Things are just so different here without you, and I'm still struggling especially at night. I miss absolutely everything you bought to the house, you were such a quirky little character, the smallest of the pack with the biggest presence and me and the girls just haven't been the same since. Tonight I will sit out with you under the bedroom window and try to open the letter that the vet sent me after I lost you but I still don't know if I can face that. I hope you are up there watching over us knowing how much we all miss you and waiting till we can all be together again. So until then, play nicely up there with all the other special furry and feathered ones - I love you Hoover my special little boy - kiss kiss.

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