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Dame Aussie

Advice Please

37 posts in this topic

RuralPug   

I'd be crating (playpen) the baby to be honest, taking turns having the dog outdoors or safely where the little one can't get at him when the bub is loose and crating the baby when the dog is loose.

At least until you have an initial session with the behaviorist and get some strategies to make the dog feel safe around bub.

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Putting him outside may actually make the problem worse if you have intentions of them being together in the future. Isolation is very powerful to dogs, and they are smart. He will put it together that he is outside because the baby is in.

I would seriously advise get some professional help if there's any reputable dog trainers in your area. There is a variety of strategies that could be suitable, but a professional will be able to assess your exact situation and context.

EDIT: sorry missed your post above. Already on it!!

Edited by BullBreedBoy

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Thanks guys.

Ruralpug we did have baby in a pen but now I've got said pen in a line across the open plan kitchen/living area so baby is on one side and dogs are on the other, it can be used in different configurations.

Baby was starting to get upset when in the pen which is why we gave her more room but I could change it back maybe

Bullbreedboy yes we want them to be able to be around each other, supervised of course, and they had been doing fine until she started crawling. I don't want them to associate her with anything negative if possible.

I'll update once we have seen the behaviorist :)

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Well unfortunately things haven't improved here. After getting some professional advice and trying to make his interactions with her positive etc, plus keeping them seperated we were going ok, but this weekend he growled again and bared his teeth at her and she wasn't even touching him. 

At this point we could do further training and management, but I feel that the risk of something going wrong is just too big given his size (50kg).

We've had a full vet check and he's fine health wise. I am in touch with a rescue group who is going to see if they have a home with no children that might suit him. If not we will have to look at our options, of which there aren't many.

I'm absolutely heartbroken. 

 

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So sad to read this update Dame Aussie; you must be absolutely devastated.  Take comfort in knowing you've tried your absolute best.  You have to look out for your family and I'm sure you'll be able to find a wonderful child-free home for him.

 

Best of luck to you :heart::hug::heart:

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Oh no what a tough decision, I'm so sorry. Certainly the right one though, I've been juggling my dogs and foster dog for 7 months now to avoid and injured or killed dog and not only is it exhausting and stressful, there have been times when I've slipped (fortunately no serious consequences) and it's just too big a risk to take with your baby :(

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I won't lie I'm really struggling :( I keep thinking we should do more training but then I'm terrified we'll slip up and if he hurt her then rehoming wouldn't be an option anymore. I can't decide what to do.  I can't stop crying

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Has he had much exposure to other /older kids Aussie? Has he ever been in positions where you've been able to assess his tolerance with older kids? 

 

I'm just thinking that if you don't know that he is more tolerant of older kids or if you know that he isn't then you potentially have years and years of management before your daughter is really old enough to manage how she interacts with him. That's a long time to manage separation without a slip up. And if he does hurt her the consequences for your family could be much more than just that he couldn't be rehomed :(

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He's always been fabulous with older kids. That's what surprised us so much. But yes you're right, the consequences could be serious 

Edited by Dame Aussie

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Is an child proof enclosure for him outside and a security screen door on her bedroom and maybe some other rooms in the house an option? That way he could be locked in the enclosure when she is free range and you could make sure she is behind a locked screen door in one of the rooms when he having free time in the house until she gets to an age he is comfortable with?

 

Cost would be a consideration in that though..

 

ETA and also how he would cope with that lifestyle. I guess you'd have to weigh up whether he'd be happier remaining with you with a whole different lifestyle or leaving you to go to a child free home.

Edited by Simply Grand

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On 2 February 2017 at 8:21 PM, Dame Aussie said:

I won't lie I'm really struggling :( I keep thinking we should do more training but then I'm terrified we'll slip up and if he hurt her then rehoming wouldn't be an option anymore. I can't decide what to do.  I can't stop crying

I'm sorry that you have found yourself in this position, it would be extremely upsetting and stressful. 

 

Since you are a long-term doler I'm going to say it straight - I wouldn't rehome him. 

 

Even if he goes into a home where there are no babies planned, you can't guarantee that crawling babies will never visit that home, or that his new owners will be as dog savvy about it. There is also a huge risk that he may be rehomed again, and that that information is never passed on.

 

I know that it is very upsetting, but he has had 8 fantastic years with you, if you move him on - he becomes a liability to someone else. It wouldn't sit well with my conscience if it were me, that he might hurt someone else's precious baby because the adults weren't aware. :( 

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12 hours ago, Staff'n'Toller said:

I'm sorry that you have found yourself in this position, it would be extremely upsetting and stressful. 

 

Since you are a long-term doler I'm going to say it straight - I wouldn't rehome him. 

 

Even if he goes into a home where there are no babies planned, you can't guarantee that crawling babies will never visit that home, or that his new owners will be as dog savvy about it. There is also a huge risk that he may be rehomed again, and that that information is never passed on.

 

I know that it is very upsetting, but he has had 8 fantastic years with you, if you move him on - he becomes a liability to someone else. It wouldn't sit well with my conscience if it were me, that he might hurt someone else's precious baby because the adults weren't aware. :( 

I agree with all of the above. Also to be considered IMO is that even if you did/could manage the current situation, until your crawler grows up some, there is always the possibility that the relationship between them will have been established and the dog will never accept your child. 

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Thanks for your replies. I appreciate everyone's honesty. The home we were looking at for him is on a farm with an older couple who have no children, that was the only reason we considered rehoming him there. Would this change your opinion? I really appreciate everyone's thoughts, I feel so torn here as I'm so close to it all.

I do understand though, it can't be guaranteed that he would never come into contact with a child.  The thing that's making this so hard is that he has been around children before with no problems. He loves them. This makes me think that if we get through the crawling/toddler stage maybe we'll be ok? 

But I'm also aware that by the time she's big enough to be considered a person to him he will be older and considering his breed getting nearer to the end of his life and possibly more intolerant/grumpy. 

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Oh gosh - it would break my heart to rehome a 'senior' citizen ...unless it was someone they knew and loved going to visit :)  I would be constantly wondering and worrying  about what was happening /how they were ...

Thinking of you,.... :kissbetter: 

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juice   

This home sounds like it could work , as long as they know whats happened a life on a farm might be just what the old chook needs later in his life.

Don't forget dogs get dumped at pounds alot , old dogs too, and they adapt pretty well, i have had a few oldies and they settle much faster.

 I know it will be hard on you, but he maybe much happier without living under that constant stress.

I had to make the call once of one of mine that was too dangerous , after proffessional advice he became too much of a liability , i often wonder if i could have done more, but my head said i had to.

 

there is no reason why you could trial the new home to see how everyone goes.

Edited by juice
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