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When is it time?


Adnil444
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Hi All, I haven't been on this forum for quite a while, but was hoping for some guidance.  My rottie x dobe was diagnosed this week with a pathological fracture in her shoulder due to osteosarcoma. She started to limp about 6 weeks earlier but seemed very happy enough.  I rested her for a few days thinking she may have a bruise or pulled a muscle.  The limp continued. I took her to the vet and they could feel arthritis in her wrist and she was put on a course of Zydax injections - after the 3rd injection I told them to stop and x-ray her as there was no difference and the limping was getting worse.  My worst fears were realised.  She turned 9 in August 2017. She also has laryngeal paralysis which is slowing getting worse as well.

 

The vet is very concerned about the fracture as it could displace causing her a lot of pain - she said amputation isn't even an option given where the fracture is and I'm not sure I would put my girl through it anyway even if it was an option.  She is currently on pain relief. I am on annual leave for the next week but my fear is when I'm back at work, if she displaced the fracture and I wasn't here to assist her.  The vet has suggested putting her to sleep sooner rather than later.  My girl Rosie is also very stoic

 

What kills me is she looks perfectly normal.  Her limping is almost gone (due to the pain relief) and she is still eating and seems to be enjoying herself.  She sleeps alot and is inside with the airconditioning.

 

I know what I have to do, and it needs to be done before I go back to work. My other dogs that I have pts have all looked sick and you could see it was the right thing to do, but with Rosie, she looks so normal.  A friends rottie also had osteosarcoma in the shoulder (was diagnosed just before Christmas).  She also looked good and you couldn't tell my looking at her, she was 8.  She was pts on boxing day.

 

This is the tough side of owning our wonderful dogs.

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I feel for you it is a horrible decision to have to make. I dont know if this will help or not but my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer and as she was waiting to die with ever increasing pain she said to me dogs are so lucky they can be putdown, it has helped me make that horrible decision on a couple of occasions.

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So sad for you and your situation.  I had a similar situation many years ago with my first dog.  She was older, but doing OK.. but her back legs would go on her every now and again.   Then it was her front legs, which made it hard for her to get up by herself.   (She was being treated with the somewhat limited range of options available back then.)  Then one morning I let her out on my large sloping block to toilet, and heard her barking later .. went out to find her cast like a sheep, downhill into a bush.   She was unable to get herself out .. and since, similar to your situation, it was nearly the end of holidays and I would have to go back to work in a few days I decided that I could not take the risk of her falling .. either inside or out, and being unable to get up and get to water or toilet.    So, very sadly, I decided, with my vet's agreement, to say goodbye before she deteriorated further.   She was still eating, and still happy enough in herself, so it was really hard.   I think I made the right decision, hard as it was.

 

And you're so right .. this is the really tough side of owning our beautiful dogs.  You will make the right decision, with your vet's support .. and you will grieve for your lovely girl.

 

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i think the fact you have asked has answered your own question .

Just remember she is sick ,she is being helped to cope with pain meds .

the decision for me being able to do it on my own terms with divinity ,not coming home from work to a situation that may be very traumatic and regretful .

 

As a not we had a Grey diagnosed with bone cancer ,she lasted 4 weeks from the diagnosis ,it was summer ,she felt the cold terribly with the air con 

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I had a stafford with all kinds of serious health issues but every single bloody day she was at the centre of everything, still acting like she was top dog! We had her at the vet every single month that last year of her life getting our vet to check her because she showed no signs of pain or discomfort and was not spending all her time asleep or off her food like you might expect of a sick dog. It became impossible to determine if the time was right for her but what helped me decide was her increasing unpredictability. She would get stuck in odd places due to dementia, blindness and mobility issues. She would jump off furniture having no clue how far she needed to travel or what was in front of her. I couldn't risk her seriously harming herself, particularly if no-one was home. So 3 months shy of 17 we got all the dogs (including her) to do us some art out in the yard, they went for a walk (she mostly in her dog pram), ate some roast chicken, had lots of cuddles and we took her to the vet that one last time. I still have no idea if I did it too soon but I know that I couldn't live with myself if I'd not been home and she had had an accident in my absence and was suffering. That was my yardstick - when she became a danger to herself. It might have to be the same for your girl - if the risk of suffering unexpectedly in your absence becomes too high then you need to make a hard decision out of love. Some people in your situation have made a bucket list of things their dogs loves and has spent the last days doing those. My girl was on a strict diet due to pancreatitis so that last meal of chicken was like heaven to her! And her art works still hang in our lounge room. She was a big part of our life for many years and remains that way now.

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1 hour ago, Danois said:

When is time? In my view with big breeds, on diagnosis. The potential for significant pain when the bone fractures whether you are there on not is the deciding factor. 

Thank you. I know what I will do.  I will make the call tomorrow.

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54 minutes ago, Dogsfevr said:

i think the fact you have asked has answered your own question .

Just remember she is sick ,she is being helped to cope with pain meds .

the decision for me being able to do it on my own terms with divinity ,not coming home from work to a situation that may be very traumatic and regretful .

 

As a not we had a Grey diagnosed with bone cancer ,she lasted 4 weeks from the diagnosis ,it was summer ,she felt the cold terribly with the air con 

Thank you.

I haven't seen her get cold from the air con - her breathing issues are helped with the air con.  I don't have it too cold - just a nice comfortable room temperature. I will keep a watchful eye on this.

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I've been unlucky enough to have loved and lost many dogs as I've taken on older dogs but that has been my choice and I wouldn't change it.  In 2016 I had to make the decision 3 times (in spite of all the vet care in the world).  I've never been someone whose dogs have "gone in their sleep", I've always had to make that hard call. 

 

My vet's advice to me is that you cannot do it too early but you can leave it too long.  I've tried to keep this in mind when getting diagnoses and making decisions.  It's never easy and I wish you the strength to do the right thing.  Keeping them going is for us rather than them, I've definitely stayed my hand when the distress was too great and it wasn't the right thing to do sometimes.

 

 

Edited by Her Majesty Dogmad
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5 hours ago, Adnil444 said:

Thank you. I know what I will do.  I will make the call tomorrow.

Our thoughts are with you and with Rosie.  Such a sad sad time.  Rosie sounds wonderful and, yes, they can be so stoic as to make us second guess what we know is the right decision for them.   

 

:heart:  :heart:  :heart: 

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My thoughts are with you too and the beautiful Rosie as her time comes.  Its never easy. 

 

My Mac returned to God on 20 November 2015.  He was was a very old westie of 16 years and a couple of months.  While he was old and doddery he had been doing well up until the day I came home, he was half in and half out of his bed, lying in poo.  He clearly had tried to get out of bed towards the doggy door and couldn't move.  That was the day I decided it was time.  So we made preparations for a week or two after my Mums birthday in early November, he said 'goodbye' to his favourite vets (he had lots of them and his favourite one sat on the floor with him and cried, - he had looked after Mac for 10 years). 

 

On the day he went to the park, ate blue cheese, spent time with his favourite person on the face of the planet and he slipped away quietly and peacefully at home in my arms surrounded by the people he loved.  I think I got the timing right. So my suggestion is plan the day for you as much as Rosie so it will be memorable in as good a way as possible - as you'll remember it for years to come.  Good luck and our thoughts are with you. 

Edited by westiemum
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Yes, you do know: Saffy who had cancer in her sinus' was still cheerful until one evening, she had her tea and hopped up on the sofa, she sat there and then put her head down and just rested the tip of her nose on the cushions, it was obvious she had the most awful headache. I took her to the waterfront on the way to her vet the next morning, we walked along the beach and she barked at a bin-chicken and a really fat Cavalier, she had a good time. When we hopped in the car she put her nose on the seat again so then i was doubly sure.

In my arms she gently went to a happier place as her favourite vet and nurse stuffed her full of liver treats.

 

It just breaks your heart but it's the last good thing we can do for them. 

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I have had so many in the last 10 years but they were all oldsters and I had tried to give them the best last few years and months they could have.

But Anna was different she was only 7 she had Cushings, she was such a beautiful dog in the way she looked and her personality, she was very worried when she couldn't get out the back fast enough, when she wet my bed she was so embarrassed. I thought we had got her settled in her meds but she stopped eating and one day I woke up and looked at her and she wasn't there. She was back for a little while and I rang Fi . As I was leaving the house she looked at me again and was Anna again then she was gone again.

It broke my heart to see her like that.

So we went to the vet she didn't struggle or try to get away, she knew it was time, she went to sleep in my lap and I was just heart broken. She was my first ever girl and she came to me to retire she had about two years it wasn't fair.

You will know when it is time.

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