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Pup still EXTREMELY unsettled


groodle_melb
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Hi everyone.

My beautiful pup Elton is a 12 week old mini Groodle. We got him at 9 weeks old. He’s a cheeky bugger and loves his humans very much. 

 

A major problem with little Elton is that he has severe separation anxiety. We have started putting him outside (closed off area with toys, kennel, bed, fake grass pad, food/water, sandpit) for short periods during the day to get used to us not being around and he is fine. Loves to snooze in the sun! However at night time that’s when it is quite bad. 

 

He sleeps in in the laundry. His crate door is always open, has some toys and his fake grass pad. We have tried everything to get him comfortable with his surroundings - he has a dum night light, soft classical music playing, a blanket from his mum/litter, a blanket smelling of me, I spray his crate and blankets with Adaptil, his crate is covered and I even covered the windows to block out any light (he’s an early riser so I thought that might help). NOTHING works and I’ve tried everything. His routine is playtime from 7:00pm - 8pm, dinner roughly between 8-8:30pm, he’ll have a lil snooze on the couch until I put him to bed at 10:30pm. 

 

Every night is different, most nights he will settle within 5 -10 minutes where as tonight it took over half an hour of him yelping and crying like he was being tortured. I know it’s not the crate itself because he does sleep in it, on a good night he will sleep from 10:45pm - 5:30am with no noise. I would love to have him in my room however that’s not an option as it my cats domain and I really don’t want to upset him. It’s been 3 weeks and I thought he would have become adjusted by now.

 

He is going to puppy school this week so hopefully that helps. Im really struggling with what to do and what approach to take. My family is starting to resent him and I know it’s not his fault but it is getting very hard.

 

Any advice would be much appreciated!!

Thank you 

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12 hours ago, groodle_melb said:

tonight it took over half an hour of him yelping and crying like he was being tortured.

..and then you gave in ? 

so ..next time , it will be an hour . he is TRAINING YOU . 
the thing is if NO ONE responds  EVER ..he WILL STOP . eventually . It's logical.

that means NO  ONE . not at 11 pm , 2 am ..not at 5 am .... Every time you go to him ... he knows that you will respond to his noise . 
promise the family something wonderful ..if they persist and be strong . Buy earplugs , promise a weekend of cooking  their favourite things, or buying a BIG take away dinner .... 

the other thing is to do as suggested , and put him in yr  room :)

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I agree with Rebanne ,
I would simply place pup in the crate in your room & set up a sleeping plan.
Keep building the pups self control & independence  skills during the day & once more settled wean into the desired area you want the dog to sleep .
Keep in mind the more you make the pup reliant on you for all activities the more it needs its human through no fault off its own .
The cat is going to have to learn to cope with the pup anyway unless your intention is for the dog to be an outside dog & the cat an inside animal ??

I also wouldn't be feeding dinner so late .

Here we do things differently especially with puppies if you want them to sleep away from you .
You are creating  "its all about me time"from 7/10.30 pm & then its good night into the laundry often a cold,warm & prison like feeling room .
The pups moment cut off & finished .
The pups here we sleep in the the bedroom or the family room in there crates until they are ready for adult privileges.
Pre bedtime if we don't want them in an area they are weaned to switch off,human time now limited .
The same applies if crated in the room ,its door shut bedtime .

So you need to ask yourself what is the adult plan for sleeping ,its coming into the warmer weather so a good time to readjust & educate before winter next year .

Puppy class can be your best friend or your worst enemy .not all are the same or teach you the right life skills to set your pup up .

How is puppy walking onleash,Does puppy enjoy being brushed regularly.What involvement do the other family members have?
What are your expectations for the long term with your dog & what you want to do /enjoy
 

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15 hours ago, groodle_melb said:

A major problem with little Elton is that he has severe separation anxiety.

Oh..and ..no he doesn't, not yet. He is just a baby puppy who is missing his family and is needing comfort at night after sleeping in a familiar place, and probably with his littermates for his whole life.
His world changed ..and he gets upset.  :)

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Everyone else has great advice. 

I would also install a baby gate ( the 1 metre high version) or an internal screen door in the laundry so that the little guy doesn’t feel so trapped. I understand not wanting to upset the cats and letting them have their own sanctuary in your bedroom. So by having a see through barrier at the laundry, your pup might be a bit happier, while still contained in the laundry. 

 

Edited by Scratch
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If you don't want him in your room, stop giving in to him, he will just continue.

He doesn't have separation anxiety, hes just a pup wanting attention.

Put him to bed earlier while you are up.

Why do you feed him so late?

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Waiting it out just made Thyme more tense at the concept of being left alone and would amp him up unnecessarily. The ignore and wait it out just made him worse even though he would stop after a bit. It ended up not being alone being the issue, but the “act of departure” a trigger for upset. 

 

One thing I had success with and wish I had done when Thyme was younger and will do so on the next puppy:

 

Not just cold dumping them in the room to be alone at night to cry it out. Instead, Ease them into it like a gradient. Like when you’re slowly heating up a lobster in hot water- you do it subtly so they don’t event notice that each time on their own is longer. 

 

Eg. Start 30 minutes earlier on bed time.  Pop puppy in the laundry and close the door. Immediately open and give some calm gentle pats for a minute or whatever the puppy likes that isn’t wildly exciting like food. Then get up and leave again for 10 seconds. Come back and get some sweet calm pats. Get up and leave and close door for 20 seconds. Go back and give puppy a couple of calm pats. Close for 30 seconds then go back for some calm pats. 

 

Then continue on at 40 seconds. 50 seconds. Then a minute. Then throw in one at 20 seconds. Then a minute. Then a minute 20 seconds. A minute 40 seconds. Back to one minute. Back to 1 minute 40 seconds. After 2 mins I could usually jump to 3 mins. Then 4 mins. Then 5 mins. 

 

He might whimper a bit but the goal is to limit the suddenness of it and ease them in to the alone times without goiing into a panic and rehearsing the alone behaviour or experiencing that stress. 

 

It took thyme a few weeks of dedicated practice but he was a year old when I started doing that. You would likely have faster success with a baby - both because less history of their feelings to undo and also a shorter attention span ;) 

 

also play this this game with the laundry pen during the day for a quick bit to help generalise the skill and build confidence that it’s “not forever”. 

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With my new pup who is now 8 months old, up until recently I would put soothing puppy music on for him which I get from Spotify. I also put a frozen Kong stuffed with frozen meat in his bed & generally by the time he has sucked the kong clean, he is asleep.  He sleeps in a crate near my room but not in my room.  He doesn't like going into the crate at night because he knows that it is bed time, like all young kids.  But I now turn it into a game & sit quitely with him & play click & treat....he looks at the crate, I click & throw the treat near the crate & finally in the crate.  Eventually he finds the kong & goes right in & I shut the door & put out the light.  I don't hear from him till 6 in the morning.

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A baby puppy used to sleeping with litter mates. Simple. We have genetically focussed on breeding COMPANION DOGS. And then we wonder why they cry when we lock them away from us. My pups are in a crate next to my bed until they demonstrate impulse control. Playing with the cat on the bed (or another dog) at night and they are straight back into the crate. Penalty yards. When I am home they can access me any time - unless they are in season. If they have pups I have a lounge chair in the whelping pen. When I leave for the day they’re very much “Meh”. Relaxed, chilled and time to catch up on sleep. 

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Another vote for covered crate beside the bed or in the bedroom at least.   Door shut until pup can be trusted - as TSD says.  My just turned 11 year old BC has had a doorless crate next to my bed, for the last 5 years, and the door was propped open before that for 2 years,   It's still his choice to make a beeline for the crate at bedtime, and the only time he goes out into the rest of the house at night is if he hears something that needs his attention - and that's rare.  

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When we weaned our adult dogs from sleeping on my son's bed to sleeping in their own beds in their own room (3 was too many on his bed!) I spent a long time sitting on the floor in the study cuddling and petting them on their beds until they went to sleep. We all enjoyed our long night time cuddles and now they go to bed happily, though they are whinging at us at 6am to let them in and on our bed which is our usual routine.

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