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Vets plea


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Shaken vet reveals:
This is what pets do minutes before they fall asleep
Every pet owner has to deal with the idea that the beloved member of the family will most likely die before you. If you grew up with dogs or cats, you probably had to say goodbye several times.
This farewell doesn't get any easier with time. Most pet owners find it particularly bad to have to put their animal friends down.
Watching your four-legged friend die can make you sick. Nevertheless, pet owners should be strong in these moments - for the sake of animals.
Unfortunately not all master and wifey have the courage and strength to stay with their animals until their last breath. They're not there to make the transition easier and prefer to leave the vet work all by themselves.
Now a vet who wants to remain anonymous has decided to share his thoughts about this decision with the public.
The vet's message:
′′ As a pet owner, it's usually inevitable for your pet to die in front of you. So if you need to take your pet to the vet to bring them a worthy pain free end, I want y'all to know something.
You were THEIR TOTAL LIFE LONG at the heart of their world!!! Of your own life, they may have been just a small part, but to them you, their family, were all they knew. It's a crappy decision / day / time every time, it can't be denied, and it's upsetting for us humans to lose it. But please, I beg you, DON ' T LEAVE HER ALONE!
Don't let them commit the transition from life to death in a room full of strangers, in a place they can't stand. What most of y'all don't know is they LOOKING FOR YOU IF YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!
They search every face in the room for their loved ones. They don't understand why you left them behind when they were sick, scared, old or taken away by cancer and they needed your comfort.
Don't be a coward because you think it's just too hard for YOU. Imagine how they feel when you leave them in their most sensitive time. People like me are every time trying to comfort them, ease their anxiety and try to explain to them why you just couldn't stay.
From a tired vet with a broken heart."
 
 
 
So true,  I see my vets in tears so distressed because they have had to put someones pet down, its an incredibly stressful job. I see it as the choices we make when have them, its tough to remind yourself to remember the joy having them in your life gave you, when the day comes that you have to deal with the grief when you lose them.
 
You make that choice again when you find another, there is a price to pay because their lifetime is less than yours regardless of the cause of their loss.
 
 
 
 
 
Edited by asal
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2 hours ago, Snook said:

but taking your pet to the vet to be euthanised and walking away before it's done is beyond me.

Hmm...at the vets I worked for it happened a bit - and on a few occasions we sent the owners out. The dogs were becoming so anxious and upset because the owners were beside themselves, that the process was turning into a bad memory for the owner, and a difficult procedure for us. Once the owner was gone, and with a staff member cuddling the dog, everything was relaxed and easy - no struggling or anxiety anymore ..nothing to feed off, so they just settled. 
I have also stood in for friends who couldn't bear it ..and the dogs were fine with me there- just another vet visit .... ho hum ....

Edited by persephone
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Just now, Rebanne said:

I try not to judge people for not being able to stay with their pets. Or those that can't cope with their dying parent. 

Same here. It's not for everyone. 

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I have stayed with each and every one that had to go because of illness.  I felt that I owed them that last moment and cuddled them to the end.  I know it's not for everyone and there were times my hubby couldn't stay and I don't judge him for that.  With each and every goodbye it doesn't get any easier.

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4 hours ago, Rebanne said:

I try not to judge people for not being able to stay with their pets. Or those that can't cope with their dying parent. 

Same here .

I am actually one off those people who can’t deal with it being my last memory.

The dogs always have a family member there and one day  I will have to be that person but I find it insulting that people presume the dog is less loved than someone who stays .

I also know many vets who struggle with owners who make the time far more stressful for the pet .

 

 

Have your opinion but anyone who tells me I’m gutless for not being there will regret those words if said to my face .

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12 minutes ago, Snook said:

I didn't view the body at my dear friend's funeral because I didn't want my last memory of her to be her dead body. I wanted to remember her full of life and laughing. I got to make that choice because she was already dead and it would make no difference to her but I would never have chosen not to see her if the circumstances of her passing were different, and I could have been there before she died. I didn't want my last memories of my father to be him emaciated and dying in a hospital bed at home (we brought him home to die at his request) but him knowing I was there for his final days was far more important than me protecting myself from that experience. Just as I didn't want my last memory of Justice to be of him dying and then lying dead on the floor at the vet clinic but it was far more important for me to be there for him, than to protect myself from witnessing that and walk away and leave him alone to die with just his vet. There are absolutely innumerable times when it's okay to put your own needs first but I don't think that one of those times is when someone who loves you is dying. 

 

I didn't presume that a dog is less loved because their human isn't there for the euthanasia but I do think it's selfish to put your own emotions or unwillingness to witness their death, ahead of being there with them. It may be somewhat different if you have a partner and your dog is just as attached to them and they're willing to be by your dog's side instead, as they still have their human with them, but choosing to walk away and leave your dog to die in the arms of their vet or strangers because it's easier for you, is unconscionable. 

Each to there own but you couldn’t be more heartless if you tried but I guess you can live with such judgement so Well Done too you .

 

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I've stepped in for many people who couldn't be there with their pets. You never know what people have been through and what they can or can not handle. 

If they have taken their pet in to be pts and not kept it at home suffering than that show more love than a lot of pets get. 

 

My parents can't be in with their animals. They have seen 2 of their children die and watching their pets leave them is just to much. I take huge offence at them being called selfish for their choices. 

 

 

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For some, its not possible and if if they were to force otherwise, it would only add or cause more distress for everyone concerned.

I stay.  

But only I can judge when and if thats a better thing.

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It is a sh!t part of a vet's and nurse's job... make no bones about it... but it is still one of the most selfless things we can do for our ailing furry friends - regardless whether we can physically bear to be there at the moment they pass or not.

 

During my vet nursing work placement, I was present/involved in more of these procedures than I care to count, and I can say that our clinic staff made sure that no animal was scared or distressed for the procedure - whether or not the owner was present at the time. I have had great big burly men sobbing on my shoulder after the passing of their best mate, and I've also had owners sobbing on me in the spare consult room while their little mate was passing in the next room and the owner couldn't bear to be physically present in that room.

 

The toll of grief over the passing of a loved pet is not just borne by the owners... vet clinic staff are often emotionally invested in the pet also - as quite a few have been clients/patients for several years, and staff have formed bonds with the pet also (and possibly with the owners as well).

 

Whether or not one can be physically present at the end is moot IMHO... the pain of that passing is just as strong either way. I don't think I'm "qualified" to pass judgement on how another person chooses to cope with that passing.

 

T.

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This thread is so painful to read. :cry:  I am so sorry for all who have lost someone and offer my respect of your individual decisions.


Last week. My eldest dog Missy passed away with me on the way to the emergency vet hospital. Mum was driving, traffic was crap, we were back seat.

I never realised before how much I appreciated being able to be in a quiet consult room with my vet and my hubby.

It was so sudden, I was so frightened and had no idea what to do without a planned euthanasia. All I could do was comfort her. 

 

If people can't attend their pet's goodbye, they may be confused and frightened too.

Death is real and final and confronting.

A release for some. A greatest fear for others.    

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13 minutes ago, Powerlegs said:

All I could do was comfort her. 

So Sorry, and although it was scary for you, for Missy it was just you and her ...and she was surrounded by your scent and presence and love , and it was good .It was her time, and the place was with you. 

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40 minutes ago, persephone said:

So Sorry, and although it was scary for you, for Missy it was just you and her ...and she was surrounded by your scent and presence and love , and it was good .It was her time, and the place was with you. 

 

Thank you so much Perse. :heart:  I hadn't thought of it like that. :heart: 

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On 20/06/2021 at 6:54 PM, Snook said:

Yep, it's totally heartless to put my own feelings aside to be there to support and love those who have loved me, at the end of their lives, instead of abandoning them because it's easier on me to not have to see it. 

 

Believe it or not, I'm allowed to have an opinion that doesn't align with yours, just as you are free to have your own opinion. If my thoughts on this subject upset you so much, perhaps it's worth thinking about why that is.. 

Absolutely you can have an opinion just like me but there’s a level class in the way you push it and to say I should think why well that doesn’t offend me what so ever ,your opinion will never hurt me.

 

As a side note a good friend committed suicide after her pets passing .

She had mental health issues but was never suicidal.

Her mental health team,family ,closest friends and vet clinic worked together for weeks leading up as time was coming to ensure my friends dogs passing was beautiful as she could not be in the room and could not cope with that decision at first ,her village came together .

When the time came it was peaceful and everyone did there role with such dignity   and my friend did an amazing job moving forward after suffering so much tragedy in her life and always dealing with it .

 

 

A few off those friends afterwards called her gutless and selfish and that took a massive toll ,each one just wearing her down bit by bit .

That beautiful team effort ruined by a few friends who had to share there opinion in a hurtful manner .

So she killed herself so yes I see it different too you,I don’t judge,I don’t feel the need to push my view but will defend and respect anyone’s choice .


So maybe just remember losing anything so personal affects people in many ways ,opinions are what make people unique but words can hurt some in profound ways but it can profound also to those who say or share in a manner that is more than jus opinion .

 

Edited by Dogsfevr
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Your post showed your mind was closed so no discussion was possible. You made it very clear what you thought of people who didn't do what you thought they should. Now, before I tell you an opinion I have that would be very hurtful, I will be bowing out of this conversation.

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No one on here probably cares about me putting in my two cents but I will anyway.

I have worked in the animal industry for years, actually my entire adult life, when I was young and naive I couldn’t comprehend anyone not staying with their animal in their last moments, actually I thought they were gutless cowards, then I experienced life and changed my mind.


I had to have one of my older cats and also one of my dogs puppies PTS a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t stay with either, you see I have been that person that held numerous clients dogs while the vet administered the injection, I’m not a nurse I’m a groomer but I did it anyway because the clients wanted someone that loved their dog as much as them to stay, I have been there while other family members have had their beloved cats and dogs PTS, I’ve even had to take them myself on a couple of occasions, I have never generally shied away from it however having to perform CPR on one of my kids and having him die any way and having to turn off life support on two of our daughters has left me more fragile and unable to cope as easily with those final moments.

 

I will be there with the dogs and cats I have now when it is their time (hopefully that’s a long way off) but I certainly will never judge anyone else again for not being able to and hopefully one day I will be strong enough to be that support when needed.

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