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My little Tonka has gone


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It seems like so many years ago that I came across DOL and through it got Tonka at 3 years of age. DOL helped me become an informed and resourceful dog owner. 

Today I had to let Tonka go. I knew it was time at nearly 17 years old to release him from his failing heart.

This is my first time as an adult and the heartbreak is real.

I am holding his collar alot and got really physically sick this morning for a number of hours. 

I can't believe he has gone. I wish I could post a photo but I never seem to manage with this latest format. 

Rest in peace little boy xxx

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I remember that little face ... :love: 
I am so sorry he has left you , and am sorry that you had to make the hard decision. 17 years is a long time to be together . Take care of yourself over the next few days ,:kissbetter: 
 

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When I saw the title of this thread just now, my heart sank and I said out aloud, “Oh no!”

 

Your little Tonka, such a darling boy who had your heart completely.

 

Deepest sympathies, LFF.  Our thoughts and hearts are with you and your treasured boy.

 

:heart: :heart: :heart:

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I'm so sorry LFF Tonka has been a huge part of your everyday and to have the routine etc change as well as the crushing grief is just so incredibly hard to deal with. We all know what you're going through, and don't tell yourself to try to move on at any pace except what feels natural for you, treat yourself with a lot of grace and kindness :cry:

 

I don't know if seeing him again will help, he won't be the same because his precious soul isn't there anymore - but if you think it might help you then ask. 

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2 hours ago, mackiemad said:

I'm so sorry LFF Tonka has been a huge part of your everyday and to have the routine etc change as well as the crushing grief is just so incredibly hard to deal with. We all know what you're going through, and don't tell yourself to try to move on at any pace except what feels natural for you, treat yourself with a lot of grace and kindness :cry:

 

I don't know if seeing him again will help, he won't be the same because his precious soul isn't there anymore - but if you think it might help you then ask. 

I just went to see a friend and came to my senses. If I went to see him it would be trying to hold on. I realize that I probably need to think about getting another dog in the future. Not to replace Tonka but because I love having a dog and it makes home feel like a home. My cat keeps ignoring me!

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7 hours ago, Lady Flying Furball said:

I feel so alone. I am tempted to ask to see him again before they cremate him but I am not sure that that is a good idea. I just want him back 

I so understand how you feel.  No matter how long we stay with them, it is never enough.  Just something else we have to come to grips with.  :( :(

 

When I scroll through the hundreds of photographs taken over the years of so many dogs, I give thanks I live in this era of smart phones.  

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I'm so sorry LFF. I only just saw this thread because even though Tempeh has been gone 4 years at the end of this year I don't like to be reminded of it. But having Jonah come into my life not too long after Temp left us (even though we weren't looking) made me realise that we love all the people and animals so close to us with different pockets of our heart. When we say we will love to the end of life we mean our lives - not theirs. So yes that little pocket breaks when they leave us but another empty pocket is there when a new loved one (be it human or animal) comes along. Just like our wonderful dogs, our ability to love more is infinite and seperate to our pain. So Tonka will always have his own pocket - that will never ever change. Thankfully the pain loses its sharpness and the memories gain theirs, or we'd never get through it. So I can love and remember Tempeh as equally as I adore and make new memories with Jonah. It actually helped me through the grieving process to discover this. We can do both. So if a new doggo helps you deal with the passing of Tonka so be it. He will always be with you on the inside. 

Edited by Little Gifts
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On 21/04/2022 at 11:02 AM, Little Gifts said:

I'm so sorry LFF. I only just saw this thread because even though Tempeh has been gone 4 years at the end of this year I don't like to be reminded of it. But having Jonah come into my life not too long after Temp left us (even though we weren't looking) made me realise that we love all the people and animals so close to us with different pockets of our heart. When we say we will love to the end of life we mean our lives - not theirs. So yes that little pocket breaks when they leave us but another empty pocket is there when a new loved one (be it human or animal) comes along. Just like our wonderful dogs, our ability to love more is infinite and seperate to our pain. So Tonka will always have his own pocket - that will never ever change. Thankfully the pain loses its sharpness and the memories gain theirs, or we'd never get through it. So I can love and remember Tempeh as equally as I adore and make new memories with Jonah. It actually helped me through the grieving process to discover this. We can do both. So if a new doggo helps you deal with the passing of Tonka so be it. He will always be with you on the inside. 

Thanks Little Gifts. Wise words and so true 

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