jls Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny, I'm sorry for Kal's passing. Your in my thoughts an prayers. Can understand your journey with Kal, as we had to do the right thing for our girl about 7 weeks ago. Like you, even now, I tend to do the same things,such as leave scraps for her, look for her in the backyard as I come home. Or worry if it's about to rain, that she might be out doors etc. As a matter of fact, my being here,is due to her. I was quietly doing research on finding our new four legged family addition, for when we're ready and able to pursue it. And my search, lead me to the local pound, and a darling shephy looking back at me -needing a home. Hence- I found my way here to the rescue site. The Shephy has a new forever home, and I like to think, me and my girl had a small (TINY) hand in it. If only to broadcast her plight.. Much more credit goes to people like Varicool an Most importantly her new family. I have read your shared information between you and DbT, I admit being a looooooong way from being a vet nurse , but had completed animal studies myself, so was able to understand and learn more from your posts. My only aim is to help others, with what little studies I have had and share it with others. Maybe along the way making a difference. Hopefully that will be your feelings too. Losing Kal, would be deeply saddening right now, but the hopefully sharing these things can make a difference along the way. Forgive me if I have anyway put my foot in it. My thoughts and prayers are with you, jls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Hi Erny, I have not been following Kal's journey assiduously, but I have popped in to this thread from time to time. When I noticed the subtitle today my heart sank. I am so sorry for you, and sending you big hugs for being so brave to help Kal end the pain. Rip beautiful Kal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippi Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny So sorry to hear that you have had to say a final farewell to your beloved companion, Kal. Take comfort in the fact that you did all that was humanly possible toward the end and that you gave her a life that was doggy heaven on earth. Kal is now at peace. My thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KismetKat Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny - I know that you were mentally/emotionally prepared for this, but still, empathy, compassion, cups of tea and other comforts being sent to you over the ether. Vale Kal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7464 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny. RIP Kal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muttaburra Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Dear Erny, offering you the deepest sympathy for the passing of Kal. You and Kal have touched the hearts of many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelpie-i Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny I too cannot see the keyboard for the tears. As many have said, there are no words that can ease your pain at this moment. Just know that you did all you possibly could for her and take comfort in the fact that she is in a place where she feels no pain and can run till her heart's content. Kal's beautiful memory will live on forever in our hearts and mind. As I said earlier, keep strong and don't ever forget that you've got a shoulder to cry on - anytime! RIP Kal.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longclaw Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny my heart aches for you. Be at peace, Kal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmolo Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny, Can only imagine how you feel at the moment. Kal was very lucky to have you as her owner, her years spent with you would have been all any dog could wish for. She was an incredibly special dog and i am both devastated yet relieved that she is now in a peaceful place. Our thoughts are very much with you and if there is anything at all we might be able to do, please just let us know. Cosmo, Otto and Jess would be happy to provide cuddles if it may be of some comfort to you. So sorry to hear of your loss. All our thoughts, TJ and SM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KOE`VU Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 I haven't posted here but have been following your and Kal's story and it has bought tears to my eyes. YOu have to be one of the best furmums ever. You did the right thing. Kal was so lucky to have such a loving Mum that cared so much for her. Rest in peaceful sleep Kal, and may you have endless fun chasing things to your little hearts content over the rainbow bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TangerineDream Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Erny, you and Kal worked together as a team for so long against this it really showed what dedication and love can do. Be kind to yourself and remember the happy times you shared......that is what Kal would have asked..... Sleep softly..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaturallyWild Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Rest in peace Kal You were lucky to live with someone like Erny who did everything she could to help you. Erny, if you need to talk at any time, me and others are just a call away. While allowing yourself time for grief you can now care for yourself in the same way you cared for Kal. My thoughts are with you Tim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erny Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 (edited) Thank you ....... thank you everyone. I have been visiting here and reading your posts. Until now, I have not had the strength to convey my depth of feeling for the heartfelt support all your words offer and provide. Even now, I struggle. My tears are unending, but I know that my tears stem from a well that I kept sealed whilst my dear sweet Kal needed me. The dam has burst and whilst I'm sure that this is a good thing, they do not erase the anguish .... not in this short time, anyway. I expect it will improve, but the pain is keen. Every movement and routine I go through is as if I re-open a wound. Putting my dressing gown on last night ..... served to remind me that when I wore it last was in the early part of yesterday, when I gave my girl an early morning cuddle. When I finally retired to bed, I moved around her cushion bed (which still lays next to mine) as if she were still there. "Goodnight, my sweet" I said, although to no-one there. But perhaps she is somewhere where she knows, and can hear me. Kal is all around me. Her mats, bed, blankets. The small scrap of food that she missed after finishing up her second meal of that morning. The bones that still lay on the verandah near her outdoor beanbag. I cannot bring myself to move or remove them, although I know it will need to be done. But not yet .... not today. Even to the point of my shower today .... expecting Kal's enquiring eyes to peer around the bathroom door. "What are you doing? .... are you going out? Am I coming?" she seemed to ask. Getting dressed ..... every piece of my clothing somehow has more than a couple of her wonderful dog hairs attached. I somehow find this comforting, even though it causes tears to steadily flow down my cheeks. I have to meet an appointment today. I almost dread getting into the car .... still full of the blankets protecting the back seat and providing her comfort, as well as the special 'step' that was made to make her entry and exit to and from the car that little more easier and dignified. Once I have met each day to day, moment to moment, routine and gone through it, I know it will be that small bit easier the next time. At the moment, though ... I am raw and although I know it to be impossible, my mind is screaming "I WANT MY DOG BACK ... WHOLE!". I long for the silky smooth feel of her ears, for the nuzzle and kiss she would give me - especially when I was eating chocolate (she knew it was the closest she'd get to having any). I long for the whine she would give me to let me know she needed to go outside, and for the 'over the moon' joy she would exhibit in her more healthy days when she knew she could come with me for a car ride. I long to see her head reaching up for a re-assuring pat "I'm still here" when, in these later days, we were both in our respect beds but after her body illness made her puzzle about what was happening. I long to feel the warmth of her under my hand. I will put one foot after the other and doggedly move on, through and forward. But damn ................ it's a lonely void that I know no-one other than the kindness of 'time' can relieve me of. All your words, kind people, do make the passage through my anguish for the loss of my best friend and soul-mate smoother. So once more, I cannot express my gratitude enough for your thoughts, not only throughout our story, in the ups and the downs, but also now, in the 'afterwards'. Edited July 18, 2006 by Erny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loraine Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Erny I was hoping not to see this post. You are the strongest, most loving person and I know how your heart is breaking. Kal will be out of pain and beathing easy at the and you will see her again.. Words are not enough, sorry for your pain luv. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tollers Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Erny I'm so sorry. I've always read this post but haven't posted myself. You've done a remarkable job caring for Kal. She was so lucky to have someone like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloss344 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 (edited) Erny, I am so sorry. There's nothing I can say to ease your pain. When I Blossom went to the bridge someone sent me this poem. I still find it very special. I Stood By Your Bed Last Night Author unknown I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep. I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here." I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me. I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more. I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there. I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me." You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there. It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, "I never went away." You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ... in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you. The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning." And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side. I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me. Edited July 18, 2006 by bloss344 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji's Mum Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I am shocked at how young your dog looks in the pic - no grey at all. How devestating for you. No wonder you are heartbroken. It is a special gift to be able to know when an animal is not right and perhaps you could consider using that gift in the future to assist elderly dogs to a comfortable end. We did a lot of it before our kids came along and found it extremely rewarding and have been getting back into it lately, when we can afford it. Recently, we rescued 'Rebel' an 8yo Blue Heeler from Qbyn Pound. Week 1 got him desexed(!), Week 2 noticed the wobble, vomiting and 5 days later the vet put him down with a grapefruit sized tumour in his tummy. We were happy he had a great 3 weeks out of the Pound. Perhaps you could offer dogs a similar happy ending since you can 'spot the wobble' as we call it. Once you stop crying of course. You poor thing. I cried for a year when my horse died and a war veteran friend said she cried for 2 years when her dog died. Take it easy for a looong while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flaves Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Erny, I am very sorry to hear of your loss, i too have been foloowing this thread to see how you and Kal were going. She is no longer in pain and can now look over you like the angel she was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shmoo Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 im so so sorry for your loss. im crying as i write this. she is a happy place now. and she knows you love her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KismetKat Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Bloss - your poem says so much. At the risk of sounding a raving loony, when I lost my cat Kismet (who I hand-raised from 10 days old). I swear after I lost her I would still catch glimpses of her our of the corner of my eye. She was there in my house, a very benign ghost. After we moved to Melbourne our house was tenanted, and the woman tenant also used to catch glimpses of a small cat out of the corner of her eye. So perhaps I was not so crazy after all. Kismet was still there! (or, of course, my tenant was as 'loony' as me ). Still, in all seriousness, I think there was something... I lost her well over 10 years ago now, but still think of her often (as you can tell by my nick). Some animals just touch us in an extra special way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now