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Should It Hurt This Bad?


SpikesPuppy
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I hope this helps, I lost my Sandy at 16 years old, he was my first dog (although as a family we had always owned them), and it is the most heart wrenching thing to say goodbye.

A Living Love

>

> If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will

> always remember....

>

> The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your

> young new friend.

> You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked

> numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a

> breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen

> that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in its

> eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and

> watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front

> room--and when you feel it brush against you for the first time--it

> instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the

> many years to come.

>

> The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later.

> It will be a day like any other.

> Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will

> look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You

> will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will

> see sleep when you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your

> friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may

> feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming

> emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until

> the third day finally arrives.

>

> And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for you, then

> you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of

> your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest

> Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--you will

> feel as alone as a single star in the dark night.

>

> If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as

> they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your

> circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or

> comfort you.

>

> But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the

> many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size

> than your own--seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely

> days to come.

>

> And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to

> happen, you may feel something brush against your leg--very very

> lightly.

>

> And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend

> used to lay--you will remember those three significant days. The

> memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your

> heart--As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of

> its own.

> You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you

> reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you.

> Either way, it will still be an ache.

>

> But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when--along with the

> memory of your pet--and piercing through the heaviness in your

> heart--there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will

> be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have

> loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living

> Love--like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals

> have wilted, this Love will remain and grow--and be there for us to

> remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave

> us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we

> live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave,

> perhaps to join our Beloved Pets--it is a Love we will always possess.

>

> (by Martin Scot Kosins)

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Hi :laugh:

I'm another one who understands your exact feelings :confused:

MY beautiful Jenna, who i had for just over 14 years who i had gone through life's many up and downs with, was put down a few month ago :confused:

she was diagnosed with operable cancer last novemember, on our first year wedding anniversery (as we were going away for a romantic weekend) and pts on valentines days, in Feb( 3months later)

It was total devastation. We still cry over her.

theres a song on the radio, 'forever young' that had just come out when we had to make the desicion and everytime it comes on now , it makes up burst into tears.

Like you i have had on and off depression made worse since she has gone.

I deal with it with my 2 new dogs Joey and Renae....they have been a big godsend!!

without t hem i would have lost the plot, i think.

it does get better, you will never forget them, but the pain does ease a little over time.

I promise you this!

Just allow yourself to grieve in whatever form it takes..better than bottling it in.

if you don't think you can cope, then see a gp as you are planning :cheers:

big hugs to you.

we all know, feel and understand your loss and pain.

You will get through this.

xxxxxxx

Edited by Joey Rocks My World
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