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We Didn't Even Say Goodbye... (ndr)


cate
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~~~

Thursday Morning

You are your perfectly normal, happy, licky, purry self.

We have a good cuddle and purr, as always.

You eat your breaky with gusto, as always.

You play with your little sister, as always.

I put you into the carrier - no big deal, just a check-up.

We'll be back in less than an hour.

The vet says your heart sounds fine, but you seem to have some fluid in your chest.

X-rays - huge amount of fluid - emergency surgery to insert a drain.

Everything goes well, but omg... your beautiful greenish/bluish eyes are now totally black and lifeless...

But you tell us not to worry.

You have to stay overnight.

We just can't believe it.

~~~

Friday Morning

Diagnosis: possible Mediastinal Lymphoma.

You are so happy to "see" us.

We take you to the best vet clinic in the state.

The weather is horrific, like never before at this time of the year.

You don't like the trip, but you look good and you settle down nicely when we arrive.

Then...all of a sudden your breathing becomes laboured and you are put into an oxygen box.

We so hate to leave you there, but we have to.

Mom goes home and joins the Feline Lymphoma list.

~~~

Friday Afternoon

Forget the cancer. New, unconfirmed diagnosis: Heart Disease.

But there is some hope. Of course there is!

Mom un-subscribes from the Lymphoma list and joins Feline Heart Disease.

~~~

Saturday Afternoon

We are allowed to see you.

Your coat looks absolutely gorgeous.

Your eyes do look better!

You look at your dad for a moment - you tell him you are glad that he is here.

Your beautiful, pink ear is folded against the glass.

I want to straighten it out for you, but I can't - you still need all the oxygen you can get.

You are stoned, but you try to use the litter box - you have always been such a clean boy.

You taste the cat litter: Yuck! It's the one you never liked.

I so wish I could give you some of your favorite food that I was told to bring, but you have to wait.

The drugs are not working as expected, but you are such a strong boy.

I want to hold you so badly.

You are breathing very comfortably now - we put our hands into the cage and rub your ears and chin for a few seconds.

You definitely like that.

Love you baby. Don't worry, we won't give up!

We'll see you tomorrow.

Three hours later, the phone call... Your little golden heart just wasn't strong enough.

Our hearts are broken.

Endless rivers of tears...

Your adoring brother and your beloved sisters can't believe it either that you are not coming home. They are all still looking for you everywhere...

We pretend that the whole world is actually mourning for you, not the pope. That makes us smile just a tiny bit.

You have given so much love to everyone you met, and you keep on giving.

Your beautiful body is being studied right now and you will make a difference to other kitties' lives, far into the future.

Caring, sweet soul you always were, I'm sure you would have given us your lick of approval for having agreed to it.

1255201c.jpg

6/10/1991 - 2/4/2005

The cat who never hurt a fly, or a mouse, or a rat, or a bird, or a moth, or anything.

Oh well, you once inadvertently scared the tail off our resident lizard, but he forgave you and grew a new one.

If there are heavens, we'll see you in the one where ALL creatures are welcome.

My precious baby boy with the heart of gold and the most loving soul I ever knew, we all miss you so very much...

Edited by cate
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. As I type this the tears are still rolling down my face and my heart hurts for you. I lost my purr-fur in January similarly with check up visit and learning I had a couple of days to say goodbye.

You are right though ... I also never would have thought cyber hugs from people who have never met could help so much but yes, they do. Know that I'm thinking of you and I trust that you are feeling somewhat better (you know what I mean by that) x

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Birni, thank you so much.

I am so sorry to hear about your purr-fur. I still don't know what is worse, that or an accident... :(

I miss my sweet boy more than ever, but I thought I was done with crying, apart from a few tears here and there.

Then, just the other day I watched The Cider House Rules, and when Fuzzy the little boy died alone in his oxygen tent, everything came back to me...

The beautiful memories are beginning to return, though.

The dogs are just as before and Garp's shy little feline sister who had the hardest time of all of us, is making progress daily.

Looks like she is well on the way to becoming the boss around here, something that was unimaginable just a couple of months ago. :mad

Thanks again for your kind words. ;)

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RIP GARP

Cat, I really don't have any words to say that could possibly comfort you in your loss. I am crying after just reading you msg.

Lots of purrs & kisses (which is lots and lots and lots since I have 6 at the moment) from putty tats and I hope he went peacefully and with as little pain as possible

Edited by SlickQannik
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