Faerie

[nuiloa]

My beautiful, beloved Papillon Faerie died while napping in the yard recently. She loved to dance and run around; you wouldn't have believed she was fifteen! I adopted her from the pound a year ago and she became my closest companion. She was sweet, obedient, hardly ever barked, and slept in my lap all the time. She 'smiled' a lot, and put her ears back so she could be petted. What a sweet girl she was. I miss her so much.

I haven't been able to sleep since she died. I just keep seeing her. I think I should adopt another dog, but I feel like it might be insulting to her memory. I had to take 'incompletes' this semester of school because it hit me so hard. Is this weird? Any advice?

-nuiloa

Edited November 25, 2005 by nuiloa

[raz]

Oh damn I knew I shouldnt have looked at this.

I'm so sorry lovey. No it's not weird.

I dont know what else to say to you.

[nuiloa]

Thanks, raz. I didn't mean to upset you. I just miss my girl a lot. I have been up before dawn most of the week putting flowers on her grave.

-nuiloa

[White Shepherd mom]

What a lucky little girl she was, living out her final year in such loving care.

It would be a pity if all the love you have to give does not find another little one to embrace. I think you should get another one (even though you have your two bigger pups!). Faerie would be pleased to see her mummy happy again.

[nuiloa]

Thanks, WhiteShepherd. I do feel that I should get another small dog now; Faerie made me love them all.

-nuiloa

[nuiloa]

Here is a poem I've written for my Faerie:

I could hear your paws on the lava rock

as you came around the house

in the early Hawaiian sunrise.

Your eyes always looked bright to me

your tail wagging

you were the picture of youth,

exuberant

delicate

joyful.

Others thought you were ancient

hardly adoptable.

I never noticed.

Your ears like wisps of morning cloud

held back in hopes of getting pet

your dancing paws

for the joy of seeing me again

although you saw me every morning.

I stood guard over your food

so the cats wouldn't steal it.

You always loved me

with effortless

unconditional love.

I can say the same for no human.

You were always welcome in my lap

on my bed

in my heart.

I'm sorry your last days were lived outside

when you should have passed on

lying on soft pillows before the fire.

The sun rises.

I go out to feed the cats and dogs.

It seems silent now.

and yet...I hear the sound of your paws on lava rock

and turn to see you sitting there, looking over your shoulder at me

like you did when you watched down the road for me to come home

and I came from a direction you didn't expect.

You smile at me and love is there

the bond between us unbroken.

You seem to tell me there is a Rainbow Bridge,

and it's not the one from Hawai'i to the mainland US

we joke about on-island.

You're there in the fields, playing, able to run on all fours again

restored to youth and glory.

In the distance,

there are piles of pillows and a cookstove

just for you.

A soft brown hand pets you; Pele picks you up, holds you, and smiles.

The gentle fire,

the one that heats Hot Ponds and Champagne Pond in Puna

the one that gives us fireworks every night on the Big Island

without danger.

I have always had a special relationship with Pele as well

and I know she has a place in her heart

for small dogs.

In Hawai'i, when something dies, it must be buried

to become one with the mana, or life force, of Hawai'i.

Faerie, you are mana now,

and I feel you in the wind and rain

and the warmth of the Kilauea fires.

Aloha, my sweet old girl,

a hui hou.

-nuiloa

Edited November 27, 2005 by nuiloa

[raz]

No you didnt upset me, Nuiloa. I'm just not brave enough to venture into this forum very often. I absolutely love your poem. Thankyou.

[Labsmum]

Very sweet poem nuiloa, for a very sweet Faerie. Go easy on yourself, it can be hard with some pooches that find a special spot in our hearts. Let those tears come, it is part of the healing process.

RIP little Faerie, my gentle old boy will look after her at Rainbow Bridge,

run free girl,

Edited November 28, 2005 by Katey

[nuiloa]

Thank you so much. I hope she and your sweet old boy are having fun playing.

--nuiloa