♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I have always had issues with how my parents look after our dog. He is almost 11 years old. He is overweight (he's a border collie, weighing almost 30kgs) he struggles to walk because he is starting to develop arthritis (hmm, wonder why ) obviously the extra weight doesn't help. I have been telling my mother for years that she is overfeeding him, but she won't listen to me. She knows she's doing the wrong thing but refuses to feed him less because she thinks that somehow, he will think she doesn't love him anymore. He doesn't even eat it all anyway (a clear indication that he doesn't need so much food) but she will stand there with him and try to get him to eat it all, because apparently, the only reason he doesn't eat it is because he wants to get her attention Along with his nightly meal (which is way too big anyway), he also get several treats each day, as well as food scraps and leftovers. I tried to tell her that, now that he's older he shouldn't eat so much, but I got in trouble because no one is allowed to say he's old. In summer, he struggles with the heat but she won't let him in the house in the air-con, because god forbid she might get dog hair in her precious house. He would probably be ok if he wasn't carrying all that extra weight. He does have shade but it hardly makes a difference in the weather we've been having. They also clip most of his coat off because they think it will keep him cool. I have told them that they shouldn't do it because his coat provides him with insulation, but apparently I don't know what I'm talking about. They won't take him anywhere in their cars, because they don't want hair on anything. So if they need to take him anywhere they put him in the back of the ute, with nothing but his collar and leash to secure him to the tray. The ute gets parked outside in the sun all day so it must be hot in there too and they don't even put anything down for him to stand on When he was desexed recently, I insisted on picking him up myself because they would have just put him in the ute, even after just having surgery Now here's what has got me really annoyed today. Mum just told me, that they had to rush him to the vet the other day because he collapsed during a walk. Well WTF do you expect when you walk an elderly, overweight dog in 40 degree heat??? I would love to take him home with me and take care of him but technically he is mum's dog, so there's nothing I can do. Its just so sad because he could easily have a few more years left, but I don't think he has long at all because he is not looked after properly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnauzerlover Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I am sorry I have no advise but I just wanted to let you know that its lovely to see you care so much for him Do you mind me asking how old your parents are and what their knowledge of dogs in general is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnet Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I have always had issues with how my parents look after our dog. He is almost 11 years old. He is overweight (he's a border collie, weighing almost 30kgs) he struggles to walk because he is starting to develop arthritis (hmm, wonder why ) obviously the extra weight doesn't help.I have been telling my mother for years that she is overfeeding him, but she won't listen to me. She knows she's doing the wrong thing but refuses to feed him less because she thinks that somehow, he will think she doesn't love him anymore. He doesn't even eat it all anyway (a clear indication that he doesn't need so much food) but she will stand there with him and try to get him to eat it all, because apparently, the only reason he doesn't eat it is because he wants to get her attention Along with his nightly meal (which is way too big anyway), he also get several treats each day, as well as food scraps and leftovers. I tried to tell her that, now that he's older he shouldn't eat so much, but I got in trouble because no one is allowed to say he's old. In summer, he struggles with the heat but she won't let him in the house in the air-con, because god forbid she might get dog hair in her precious house. He would probably be ok if he wasn't carrying all that extra weight. He does have shade but it hardly makes a difference in the weather we've been having. They also clip most of his coat off because they think it will keep him cool. I have told them that they shouldn't do it because his coat provides him with insulation, but apparently I don't know what I'm talking about. They won't take him anywhere in their cars, because they don't want hair on anything. So if they need to take him anywhere they put him in the back of the ute, with nothing but his collar and leash to secure him to the tray. The ute gets parked outside in the sun all day so it must be hot in there too and they don't even put anything down for him to stand on When he was desexed recently, I insisted on picking him up myself because they would have just put him in the ute, even after just having surgery Now here's what has got me really annoyed today. Mum just told me, that they had to rush him to the vet the other day because he collapsed during a walk. Well WTF do you expect when you walk an elderly, overweight dog in 40 degree heat??? I would love to take him home with me and take care of him but technically he is mum's dog, so there's nothing I can do. Its just so sad because he could easily have a few more years left, but I don't think he has long at all because he is not looked after properly I feel your pain. My parents had two foxies that they spoilt rotten. They overfed them so badly, they were like barrels with legs. Nothing could be said to get them to stop feeding them anything and everything. I think they felt as though they were loving them by constantly giving them food whenever they looked sideways at the fridge. They are living with my sister now so they are back to normal weight and much happier. Not sure what you can do here, hopefully the vet was able to talk some sense into your mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 I am sorry I have no advise but I just wanted to let you know that its lovely to see you care so much for him Do you mind me asking how old your parents are and what their knowledge of dogs in general is? Both mid 40s, dad had lots of border collies growing up and is really good with training etc but he was a farm boy so his view on dogs is they are just dogs. Mum loves dogs but she just doesn't understand their needs and she seems to think they are just hairy humans. I know she loves Sam but she has no idea how to do the right thing by him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clover Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 That poor bloody dog . 11 years old is not old, do they not realise they are killing him . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsBex Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Sorry to hear that. I know it must be very hard to have to witness! Have you thought of writing a letter? I know when I have something serious to talk to one of my sisters about, I usually put it in writing as it takes out the emotional element, and also the opportunity for them to talk over you. I also use the psychology of saying something positive for every negative ie. "Your dog loves you very much, so you must be doing something right .. however ...... ". Best of luck getting through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Personally i wouldnt get peeved over him being clipped off.In all reality this sounds like a dog better off without coat. My i ask is your mum overweight?? or does she keep herself trim & fit?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 Sorry to hear that. I know it must be very hard to have to witness!Have you thought of writing a letter? I know when I have something serious to talk to one of my sisters about, I usually put it in writing as it takes out the emotional element, and also the opportunity for them to talk over you. I also use the psychology of saying something positive for every negative ie. "Your dog loves you very much, so you must be doing something right .. however ...... ". Best of luck getting through. I could try the letter, thanks for the suggestion. Unfortunately, given his age and current condition it may be too late to change anything even if I could get through to them. I'm visiting them today with Darcy, and she took one look at him and said I can't be feeding him enough because is too skinny. He looks exactly the same as he did last time she saw him, but she thinks that since we've moved out of her house he has lost weight. So not only does she not look after her dog properly, but she also seems to think I am incapable of looking after mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 Personally i wouldnt get peeved over him being clipped off.In all reality this sounds like a dog better off without coat.My i ask is your mum overweight?? or does she keep herself trim & fit?? She is a bit overweight but not huge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formal Dogs Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Was he weighed at the vet when he was desexed? Do you think maybe the vet could have a word and then some advice and a "special" diet. I also know a friend with a labrador who loved to eat who used to give him ice cubes to munch on as a treat - and carrots. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozzie Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 What was the cause of his collapse? Surely the vet would have said something to them about his weight, if not this recent time, when he was desexed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 (edited) Was he weighed at the vet when he was desexed? Do you think maybe the vet could have a word and then some advice and a "special" diet. I also know a friend with a labrador who loved to eat who used to give him ice cubes to munch on as a treat - and carrots. Good luck. He was, but my parents only took him to that vet a couple of times, on my recommendation. But they don't take him there anymore because he charges more and apparently doesn't know what he's talking about As it was he had to do a lot of convincing for them to have him desexed (he had prostate problems). They have gone back to their old vet because it is cheaper there. The vet they see now has never made mention of his weight or any of the problems my vet picked up. But then, they are the same vets that do the checks and vaccs for the local PP puppies, and encourage people to BYB... ETA Rozzie according to the vet it was heatstroke. Edited January 31, 2010 by luvmybordercollie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I agree - maybe you need to have a word to the vet so that he/she is... well... brutal. Don't hold back, slam them with reality, make them feel they are doing wrong by him, and that they are slowly killing him. My mum is exactly the same with Chloe - however, over time I have convinced her that overfeeding will cut YEARS off Chloe's already complicated life. When I am frustrated or if she complains that Chloe is stiff or sore - I tell her bluntly because she is killing her. She is much better now thank goodness. I also enlisted the help of every single person I, and they, know to say something when they see Chloe. It does start to sink in when you are hit with the same thing over and over again by very different people. I know it's hard... but for the poor old boys sake, you've just gotta keep trying everything you can to get through. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♪♫LMBC♫♪ Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 (edited) I lost it with her a bit today when she told me that they'd been walking him in the heat. Hopefully she learned a lesson about that at least. Dad knows he is overfed and he does try to cut down on his meals, he feeds Sam most nights because mum is at work. But its hard when she keeps giving him extras throughout the day. And apart from that Dad doesn't really care much. My sister and I both tell her all the time that she needs to change the way she looks after him but she thinks we don't know what we're talking about. I guess we just have to keep at her... Edited January 31, 2010 by luvmybordercollie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Personally i wouldnt get peeved over him being clipped off.In all reality this sounds like a dog better off without coat.My i ask is your mum overweight?? or does she keep herself trim & fit?? She is a bit overweight but not huge. Argh ,We have found with clients who where fitness freaks it worked well to say the dog deserved the same. Bit hard to use that angle Sounds like your losing the battle which would be hard to watch. Its very sad when people are so selfish they inflict this type of damage to a dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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