Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

[m-j]

I found this joke funny, hope you do too.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

(Dog Trainer Version)

Pavlov: we fed the chicken on the opposite side of the road each day at 4

p.m. until the chicken?s autonomic system actually began causing the chicken

to cross the road at 4 p.m. without even questioning the "why".

B.F. Skinner: on prior occasions when the chicken voluntarily crossed the

road, this behavior was followed immediately by a reinforcing consequence.

Cesar Milan: I bullied, chased, poked, and intimidated the chicken until it

raced across the road, because I am a strong leader.

Barbara Woodhouse: You just say, "Walkies" with the right accent and place a

crumpet on the other side of the road.

Karen Pryor: by associating R+ with road crossing and P+ with standing

still, with a VR schedule, and offering a reward in keeping with the Premack

principle, we increased the intensity and frequency of the road crossing

behavior.

Bill Koehler: a few well-timed pops on the choke chain and the chicken was

happy to cross the road.

Nicholas Dodman: I gave the chicken fluoxetine, sertraline, paroxetine,

carbamazepine, and azapirone and then it was happy to cross the road.

Patti Ruzzo: I crossed the road, pausing every step to spit a treat out of

my mouth like a human pez dispenser and the chicken followed along catching

the treats.

Electric Collar Advocate: whenever the chicken does not cross the road I

give it an electric shock. But do not worry, the shock is no more than you

would feel if you walked on a carpet wearing socks and it does not bother

the chicken at all. The feathers standing up and the smell of burning flesh

mean nothing. In fact, they are happier having nice clear communication than

they would be otherwise.

Yuppie: chickens are just like little people in feather jackets, and if you

love them and give them diamonds and feel sorry for them all the time, they

will be happy to cross the road for you.

Paris Hilton: Because I put it in a Gucci bag and carried it.

Shelter director: Any chickens that do not cross the road will be euthanized

for their own good, and the others we will "adopt" out tomorrow for only

$200 each. Please send us money so we can keep doing more of this important

work!

HSUS member: I do not know anything about animals, I have never been around

animals and am not really fond of animals, but we passed a law mandating

that chickens be kept without cages because animals belong only in the wild

and cannot be happy coexisting with man, so now they are walking wherever

they want.

PETA member: chickens have the right to live in world without roads. Any

chicken that lives within a hundred miles of a road is suffering an inhumane

existence and might eventually be hit by a car so we should kill it today to

ensure that it does not die tomorrow.

[Staranais]

LOL.

You forgot the drive trainers version - the chicken seeks to achieve drive satisfaction by crossing the road!

[huski]

LOL.

You forgot the drive trainers version - the chicken seeks to achieve drive satisfaction by crossing the road!

:D

[m-j]

LOL.

You forgot the drive trainers version - the chicken seeks to achieve drive satisfaction by crossing the road!

Or you could have the Kasey Cover version ... teach an intermediate bridge, name the walk, name the road, and give an intermediate bridge while the chook is crossing and a terminal bridge when it has crossed.

[RubyStar]

[ness]

;) :D

[Erny]

Or there's the Victoria Stillwell version ....

Because if the chicken did not cross the road, I had a loud horn blow until it did cross the road. When it had crossed the road, this loud noise stopped. And the chicken was given food. And I know this because I have CCTV hooked up to my car. (And crap! I just broke the heel on my shoel! Make-up!!!!)

[RubyStar]

Or there's the Victoria Stillwell version ....

Because if the chicken did not cross the road, I had a loud horn blow until it did cross the road. When it had crossed the road, this loud noise stopped. And the chicken was given food. And I know this because I have CCTV hooked up to my car. (And crap! I just broke the heel on my shoel! Make-up!!!!)

I love this one best!

[Rusky]

:D :D :D

excellent

[Jigsaw]

I like it!!!! :thumbsup:

[jazawayaya]

Ah but honestly this is why it is so hard

Which one is right?

[RubyStar]

Ah but honestly this is why it is so hard

Which one is right?

Well I guess that is the point - no one way is right. They are some of the different training methods available, pick one that works for you and your dog and be open to try other ways when one doesn't work! (oh and I wouldn't trust all these suggestions as is, they are taking the piss quite obviously )

Edited August 13, 2010 by RubyStar

[m-j]

Or there's the Victoria Stillwell version ....

Because if the chicken did not cross the road, I had a loud horn blow until it did cross the road. When it had crossed the road, this loud noise stopped. And the chicken was given food. And I know this because I have CCTV hooked up to my car. (And crap! I just broke the heel on my shoel! Make-up!!!!)

Ah but honestly this is why it is so hard

Which one is right?

As RS said, but if I wanted to get a chook to cross a road I would use the Kasey Cover (I think this is the wrong way to spell her name) version.

cheers

M-J