When Is It Time?

[collie angel]

My Mum has a 17 year old silky x maltese and she has been up at the vets last week as mum thought it was her time the vet said she had a bladder infection and gave her something for it scruffy is still active at times (normally when she knows someone has come over or she has seen my mum. She is a bit blind and she can't hear too well but the vet said she was still ok however my dad thinks its time mum made a choice on what she wants to do mum said if she was in pain she would PTS but as she is only having problems with her bladder (which we think are her kidneys packing up) the vet said give her another week to see how she goes. The sad thing is my mum loves this dog move than life and has her 50th birthday next week and we dont want her to have to make this choice.

Why is this so hard ? why do we love our animals so much and not have enough time with them i know scruffy is old but we have had her for 15yrs its not long enough if you ask me.

nichola

[Joey Rocks My World]

hi Collie Angel

i'm sooo dreading the same thing, with jenna!!

shes' only 13 nearly 14, but is getting bad athritis, which i'm doing everything to make its better and more confortable for her atm...

I don't warrant its time yet, shes hasn't shown me enough signs to justify...vet reakons shes in good health and is happy enough.

i just feel bad when she takes ages to get up on her old legs, and get going and sleeps heaps more now

our joey has brought her to life again tho

i have made a pact to myself, if i see her in very bad pain and shes not happy ,i will not prolong her life or her suffering

i made this mistake with 2 of my last dogs, they were suffering and were very old as well, and for my selfish reasons, that i couldn't let them go, i prolonged their life and made them suffer more than they had to!!

I won't be doing that with my beautiful loving Jenna

Sad subject to deal with, isn't is!!

[Stormy]

I know that there is nothing that can be said to make it any easier for you or your family at this time, it's a very difficult thing to face.

It's always hard for those that are left behind, as we are the ones that face the loss, whereas those that go over rainbow bridge are the ones, who, at this stage of their lives, are blessed with relief from all their aches and pains.

I had always hoped that my fur babies would have passed away in their sleep so I would not have had to make that decision, but in the last 10 months I've had to give wings to two of my fur babies (one 16 and one 15 1/2).

For me, I like to think that I will again see my loved ones (fur and skin alike) again, when my time come to cross that bridge. I know that the reason that their passing has caused me so much grief is because that they showed me so much love, and if you've never experienced great love then you will never experience great loss.

In a warped way I suppose that I count my blessings that I feel pain, as therefore it means I have known great love

Thinking of you,

Stormy

[cowanbree]

Your mother will know when the time is right and as long as the dog is not in any pain there is no hurry, don’t let anyone else pressure her into making a decision before she is ready as she is the one that will have to live with the regrets. I believe in quality of life not quantity but just because an old dog sleeps more doesn’t mean they are not enjoying their life.

[Georgie-boy]

Your mother will know when the time is right and as long as the dog is not in any pain there is no hurry, don’t let anyone else pressure her into making a decision before she is ready as she is the one that will have to live with the regrets. I believe in quality of life not quantity but just because an old dog sleeps more doesn’t mean they are not enjoying their life.

Well said.

[Allerzeit]

cowanbree has expressed it so well.

I don't care if its 1 year or 20 years, there's never enough time with our furry ones - that's the hardest part of being loving pet partners.

If we didn't open ourselves to love our pets so much that it hurts to say goodbye, then we would never be able to receive the pure love and joy they offer us.

Sending lots of and to your family, and especially to your mum.

[noisymina]

i made this mistake with 2 of my last dogs, they were suffering and were very old as well, and for my selfish reasons, that i couldn't let them go, i prolonged their life and made them suffer more than they had to!! frown.gif

I've seen this far too often - One has to put the animal first and human feelings second. I learned this from watching others do it and have never regretted it. Put the dog's welfare first and don't add to your grief by making it worse for the dog because "I love her/him". Adding guilt to the grief does not achieve anything - except more angst.

With one of our cats (my OH is the cat person) a vet actually was the worst culpret. I finally packed him off to the RSPCA with the cat - they were really good and agreed it "was time" and counselled him and all - and put the animal out of its' misery - for much less them the vet would have cost. Keeping the poor thing as long as we did was an incredibly expensive exercise and did the poor animal no good at all.

Try to be objective by focusing on the animal's welfare - it then becomes a clear decision, if not an easy one.

Hard bit true.

[schnauzer]

I believe it is time when your dog cannot get up without pain, cannot walk comfortably to his water bowl, and cannot toilet without straining and pain and the quality of his life is gone.

But you know in your heart, when the time is right. If you cannot make this decision, ask your trusted vet to tell you.

[Dog_Horse_Girl]

While the decision to end a loved pet's life is never an easy one, I would prefer to make the decision myself rather than have the dog or cat become really sick in a hurry and be *forced* into having them PTS b/c there was no alternative.

I had a beautiful staffy cross heeler, Aussie and raised him from 9 wks old. At 12.5 yrs he began to suffer with canine dementia, and had heart problems. He also began to change weight, he lost a lot of weight VERY fast at around 13 yrs. The vet said we could opt for tests or opt for just loving him as much as we could. We opted for the love.

Not long after this, at 13.5 yrs, he became unsteady on his feet and very quickly went downhill: he had massive stomach upset, was passing blood, and had no gum colour at all. We were devastated that our only option was having him PTS b/c it meant we had no time to adjust to his impending death. It was give him the needle NOW or watch him die slowly over many more hours. He was in pain, distress, and certainly didn't have any more will to live.

I still cry when I think about his death: he was suffering and there was nothing we could do other than send him to the Bridge.

Make the choice while you still have the choice rather than being forced into the decision. That's my advice. Not that I'm saying this dog has to go now, but be prepared that things might change very suddenly.

Hugs to you and your family. It's a difficult time.

[jshaytana]

I'm with cowanbree. I put my 15 yo dog to sleep 12 months ago. I regret it. He still had some time left. I felt pressured by other people. He was blind (had been for 6 years) found it a bit hard on his back legs at times and slept a lot right next to me of course. I think other people find your old dogs a bit disgusting but pretend they dont want to hurt your feelings. I new he didnt have all that much longer and decided to put him to sleep before he suffered. But i regret it. I wish i had not let other people make me feel guilty. Your mum is the one that needs to make the decision and you need to be there to support her either way.

[collie angel]

Hi thanks you to everyone for your advice, yes this is a very hard time scruffy is doing well atm she has those days where she is like a "pup" again normally when my sister's maltese is staying with mum and dad and thats at least every week (my sister is a flight atendent and her hubby a cop and works nights so zac stays at mums instead of being on his own) Mum has said if she was in any pain she when get her PTS but she wont do it because she is old. Like some of you we hope she passes in her sleep but we know that that might not happen.

schnauzer:

We had a 17 year old collie and he couldn't get up in the end, dad had to lift him on the grass to go to the toilet he got sick really quickly and i remember the day he brought me home from school over 10 years ago i was 14 and told me he wanted to put ceaser to sleep me being my selfish teenager said no way and they told me they wouldn't i remember coming home from school and he had died they told me he just passed away......the other day talking about scruffy he finally admitted that he had the vet come out and do it at home so i wouldn't know it still upsets me now but i know it was for the best at the time i hated the world. I know my parents love there pets too much to let them suffer.

thanks again guys will keep you posted she is going to the vet on monday to see if she has improved.

nichola

[Nadia]

Slightly off tangent here, and not meant to be in reference to the OP, just a personal observation from many years working with people and their pets.

Sometimes owners are too emotional to understand that they are actually prolonging suffering, or that their pet is ready to go.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to bring home the fact that it is time to let that loved one go.

Vets are placed in this situation all the time.

It is a very difficult and emotional time for everyone involved.

The actual act of Euthanasia is not traumatic for the pet, it is traumantic for the humans.

I have watched humans slowly die from terminal illness and I have watched animals being given release.

I would wish to walk in the animals shoes for we have the option to peacefully and quietly end the suffering.

A lovely old client of mine said to me one day a few years ago, a few weeks after we had PTS her elderly feline companion of some 19 years, "I am so tired and my body is worn out, just like Timmys' and I am so unable to be the person I was once, I wish you could do for me what you did for Timmy"

The last time I saw her, her body had given up completely and I felt so helpless, she was trapped here in a body that simply did not function any more. For 9 months she lay in her bed at the nursing home and her family were all for keeping her going as long as possible, for who? She had no wish to stay any longer she was ready to go.

[collie angel]

YES it is an emotional time for everyone but the right choice will be made what is best for scruffy, she is off to see the vet tonight as mum had to go to the doctors herself today to see if she needs to have a bone graft done on her ankle (had a motor bike accident in europe in july) then dad and mum will take her up to see what he thinks is best she seems to be doing better but thats for the vet to deciede.

will keep you posted.

[Ryn]

When they are in pain all the time and have no quality of life left - in their terms not ours - is the right time.

I still find this hard to believe - but my lovely Sophie who had a very nasty cancer and was having lots of treatment - did me one last favour. My vet said to me that she is only hanging on because she loves you, tell her its alright to go, and I did.

And she died, five minutes after a last pat, at home but with just one big sigh. I wasn't really expecting it to be like that and I was gearing myself up to have her pts.

WHereas my beautiful setter, had such a love of life, but his back legs kept giving out on him all the time. And he just didn't understand why they wouldn't carry him all the time, and after a final attack when both legs went, he was pts at home with us all around him. It was harder with him because he was such a vital dog.

I think there is no right answer but you shouldn't be pressured by anyone else.

You shouldn't feel guilty later that you were hurried or it was too early or too late.

I think the vet can only advise, it's your choice. You know your dog.

[Erny]

When the glint for life has faded from your dog's eyes ...... Your Mum will know when the time is 'right'.

[Loraine]

Your mother will know when the time is right and as long as the dog is not in any pain there is no hurry, don’t let anyone else pressure her into making a decision before she is ready as she is the one that will have to live with the regrets. I believe in quality of life not quantity but just because an old dog sleeps more doesn’t mean they are not enjoying their life.

So true, I had to let my Coco go to the bridge last December. I wanted to keep him forever (as we all do), but I knew it was his time. Your Mum will know too, it will still break her heart, but she will do the right thing at the right time

[collie angel]

ok scruffy is doing much better vet did xrays and its not kidney stones she is one more pills and mum will take her back next week she seems to be doing much better theydid some more test so mums waiting for the results.

[Allerzeit]

Thank you for the update!

I'm so pleased Scruffy is doing better