Jump to content

Bad Behaviour Around New Boyfriend


peigirl
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hello guys, need some help with Rafael. For the first time in 4 years, I'm now dating someone and has myself a boyfriend :laugh: Sofia initially was a bit weary of a new person visiting/staying over at our house but warmed within a few days and is her regular crazy lovey self. Raf on the other hand is not so impressed and while he is totally fine around the BF in my presence, a few escalating incidences have me concerned when they've been alone together. First of all BF got out of bed in the middle on the night and stepped on a sleeping Raf for which he got nipped on leg (no broken skin). Second again in the middle of the night BF has got out of bed and stopped to pat Raf on the way to the loo. Raf (who was awake and licking himself at the time) has given another nip this time on the wrist (again no broken skin). Last incident was this morning - Raf laying on the bed and the BF has gone to shoo him off so I can leave for work. This time Raf has snarled, shown teeth and gone to bite, but didn't connect. I walked into the room about a second later but just missed it. After I was told what happened I got Raf straight off the bed, sat him on the floor, grabbed his jowls and told him off straight in his face. I might also add Raf doesn't normally sleep on my bed, he had just hopped up there while I was getting ready for work.

Would appreciate any advice please as I am very concerned! Raf has lived with a male before for years (my brother) but he is clearly unsettled by this new person in our space.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I walked into the room about a second later but just missed it. After I was told what happened I got Raf straight off the bed, sat him on the floor, grabbed his jowls and told him off straight in his face

Too late and not a helpful response.

Time to make adjustments. I'd suggest some professional advice but in the mean time I'd have BF do all the feeding and share walking the dogs.

I'd be sleeping Raf in a crate. How much training have these dogs had?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:S

my dog hates the hose (water in general) so what i do is sit him next ot me and pat him while i turn on the hose and water the lawn (sitting down with him) he stays, dusnt like it much but he trust's me, and he will slowly get used to it, maybe try somthing like this, sit with him and your BF and get your bf to pat him while u are too and slowly teach him that your bf is ok. isomthing like that maybe? cause id say he see's him as an intruder and a dog isnt going to like and intruding just because his over all the time, gotta show him that his NOT and intruder his a friend. maybe, i duno just a thought :laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I walked into the room about a second later but just missed it. After I was told what happened I got Raf straight off the bed, sat him on the floor, grabbed his jowls and told him off straight in his face

Too late and not a helpful response.

Time to make adjustments. I'd suggest some professional advice but in the mean time I'd have BF do all the feeding and share walking the dogs.

I'd be sleeping Raf in a crate. How much training have these dogs had?

BF has done some of the feeding but I will make him do all. We also already share walking.

Raf is 4.5 years, Sof is 1.5 years. Both have basic obedience but are not crate trained.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Time for a professional to come and have a look at the dynamics.

You probably need to change the house rules...Raf's world has been turned upside down....and you all need to be made to fit in it again :laugh:

I agree- your delayed response and method of correction would not have been at all helpful for what happened :laugh: In Raf's mind- he was told off for sitting on the floor!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well done on the BF.

Incident 1 I don't think you can blame the dog. Many a good dog has nipped when being woken up.

I agree that you should get some professional advice. Also, assess how YOUR relationhsip has changed with the dogs. Are they getting the same amount of attention? Are you going out more? Has their routine changed?

Maybe also keep the dogs off the bed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree- your delayed response and method of correction would not have been at all helpful for what happened :laugh: In Raf's mind- he was told off for sitting on the floor!

Very aware of this but it had literally happened a second before. He was still on the bed when I entered the room so I got him off, sat him down and told him off. It was just my reflex response to the situation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree- your delayed response and method of correction would not have been at all helpful for what happened :laugh: In Raf's mind- he was told off for sitting on the floor!

Very aware of this but it had literally happened a second before. He was still on the bed when I entered the room so I got him off, sat him down and told him off. It was just my reflex response to the situation.

In his mind you told him off for getting off the bed. He obeyed you and got roughed up!

Meeting aggression with aggression is always risky.. especially for you. :laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well done on the BF.

Incident 1 I don't think you can blame the dog. Many a good dog has nipped when being woken up.

I agree that you should get some professional advice. Also, assess how YOUR relationhsip has changed with the dogs. Are they getting the same amount of attention? Are you going out more? Has their routine changed?

Maybe also keep the dogs off the bed.

I have been very aware of the change in dynamic and have been very conscious to alter their routine at little as possible. They are still walked/run every morning and evening (hot weather currently permitting). Still plenty of cuddles and play time. Yes I am out a bit more sometimes in the evenings, but this is only after the structured evening walk/feed. Weekends I have always been in and out, so this is no different.

And yes both are now banned from the beds, couches etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i dunno guys, i think at this stage i wouldnt say it cals fro drastic or profssional help, as i said wit with your dog and your bf and be with both of them together and show raf that your bf is OK and is a friend and also that raf still maintains the same position in the house as he does now, (id say he feels threatend by the BF...another male in the house) it may take time but i personally think thats a better way to go then drastic measure's, but hey i im wrong and it dosnt work (it will take days if not a week) then by all means imo i dont opject to crate training etc, but maybe try small less drastic things first :laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree- your delayed response and method of correction would not have been at all helpful for what happened :laugh: In Raf's mind- he was told off for sitting on the floor!

Very aware of this but it had literally happened a second before. He was still on the bed when I entered the room so I got him off, sat him down and told him off. It was just my reflex response to the situation.

In his mind you told him off for getting off the bed. He obeyed you and got roughed up!

Meeting aggression with aggression is always risky.. especially for you. :laugh:

Point taken PF. It was just my first (and bad) reaction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you asked Steph yet for any advise?

Bartok yes I will talk to the pei people too. Steph just popped out a baby a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't dream of bothering her now.

Raf is not normally an overly affectionate dog, but loves people and especially males, which is why I am thrown off by his recent behaviour.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BF is a dog person and trying very hard, came equipped with toys and treats when he met them. I am somewhat reluctant to introduce adult dogs to crates. Raf especially was quite ill as a teenager, was in and out of vets and does not associate crates/cages as a good thing. I think instead I will use a kids play pen to block entry into my bedroom at night, but still have the door open for sight/smell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...