Rom Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I guess I was about 6 the day they bought you home, you were so tiny. Black and tan with white socks that had tan spots on them. You slept a lot, so I made sure you had a comfortable bed in my dolls cradle. We lived by the lake then, and though we didn’t have the money to have a boat tied up out back like our neighbours, I wouldn’t be outdone and had a toy blow up outrigger canoe ‘moored’ out back just like them :D. When you got bigger, you and I would go sailing together in my little canoe…..the captain and her little first mate LOL! When Dad was put off work, money was tighter so we moved to Sydney to live in a caravan in a relatives backyard. You and I slept in the annex together. You were the best friend to a lonely, frightened little girl. You always knew not to follow me when I went to school….I guess you were pretty smart. I’m sure I didn’t know how to teach you that….and I’m not sure that I would have….I think I would have preferred if you came to school with me When I walked home, and came over the hill, you would be waiting on the lawn out front for me, staring at the crest of the hill waiting for someone to appear. You wouldn’t run to me straight away…..you’d wait until I called you and then you come streaking up to me. I’d pick you up in my arms my tiny girl, glad to have you close again, and together we’d finish the walk home. Then other dogs started hanging around and I heard the adults say that you needed to be ‘fixed’. I knew that you weren’t broken, to me you were perfect. But the date was set and I nursed you as we drove to get you fixed. I handed you over the counter to the man, I was frightened and I didn’t understand what was happening and I hoped that you would be OK. I heard Mum say, “$40, that’s too much!”. She then ushered me outside saying that we would come back to get you in a few days. I missed you straight away and I asked Mum everyday…”Can we go and get Tina today?”, and she’d say “Not yet”. I was aching for the absence of you. Then came the day that I first realised that you could not trust adults. I asked Mum again “Mum can we go and get Tina today, please?” and she said “Cheryl, will you shut up about that bloody dog”…..I knew then, that I’d never see you again and that I’d get into trouble if I mentioned it ever. I want you to know that I can let myself feel all those feeling of loss and betrayal now and I realise that I still ache to my core over the loss of you. I pray that fate dealt you a kind hand and that you ended up in a loving home to live your life out in comfort and peace. Tina, that was 38 years ago now and it has only been this last year that I’ve been able to bring myself to talk about you…..but I want you to know that though I couldn’t talk about you, I never stopped loving you or missing you, I’m sorry that I was too little to stand up and defend you and I hope that you can forgive me for that. Part of everything I do will be dedicated to you, I love you still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baifra Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Wow what a crappy thing to have to cope with as a child. My thoughts are with you. Poor Tina. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirty Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 That brought tears to my eyes. :D She sounded like a lovely dog and I am sure she knew how much you loved her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tollers Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Bloody hell Rom that's so sad. You definitely don't have anything to be sorry about. Maybe you should talk it through with your parents. :D RIP little Tina. The short time you had here has influenced at least one person to care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spotted Devil Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I'm so sorry you have had to suffer such pain for so long, Rom - but what a beautiful girl your Tina must have been to touch you so deeply. Run free, Tina, you wise, faithful little dog :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbbb Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Got something in my eye.... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oliversmum Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Oh crap, I can't stop crying :D RIP little Tina. You did the job that was intended for you and left an indelible mark on Rom's heart. Well done little girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisys Mum Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 oh that was so sad but what a beautiful tribute to Tina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 wounds may grow over, but when you think to look, the wound is still there - buried deep. Your post made me so sad for you and your little Tina, and so freaking angry at the betrayal by your parents. hugs Rom, As someone said, Tina paved the way for the dogs that where to fill your heart. fifi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlibud Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I so agree with Fifi ,how could your parents do that to you, sorry I know they are your parents, but. Hugs to you Rom as it still must hurt you so bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rom Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Through my writing and your replies I've been able to release a lot of old emotions, and I hope that heeling can start now. I just wanted to add, that though my parents didn't handle the situation very well, I believe that they did the best that they knew how at the time with the resources that they had. My mum had a lot to contend with Dad being alcoholic who could sometimes be violent......as an adult, I can see that. But I still had to acknowledge how it was for the little six year old girl who is at the foundation of who I am, and see it through her eyes again and allow myself to feel it from her point of view, and let her off the hook for failing a friend, so that I could move on. In writing the OP, it was the first time that I've really cried about Tina, and I've cried again with each of your replies...it has been a truly healing experience Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misha&milo Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I am so sorry that you had to go through that. But remember when it is your turn to go over that hill She will be there streaking towards you and you won't even have to call her name because she WILL know it's YOU and never will you be parted again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkySoaringMagpie Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I so agree with Fifi ,how could your parents do that to you, sorry I know they are your parents, but. Rom has already answered this, but I think many of us have an experience of a parent getting rid of a pet for one reason or another when we were young. In my case, it was a cat, and the basic problem was that the cat was not suited to living in a house with three kids under 10 years of age. My parents decided it was "damaged in the head" but looking back now it just wasn't coping well with living with three very young kids with average to below average animal confidence. We got mixed messages about what happened to it at the time, it was only later as an adult that I found it had been given the green dream. I'm not that old (late 30's) and I know similar things must still be happening today, but back then community standards around pets were pretty different and people did not have the internet to turn to for information and support. It's one of the things I think is great about DOL. Run free Tina - that was a lovely tribute Rom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotemSpirit Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thanks for your thoughts everyone.Through my writing and your replies I've been able to release a lot of old emotions, and I hope that heeling can start now. I just wanted to add, that though my parents didn't handle the situation very well, I believe that they did the best that they knew how at the time with the resources that they had. My mum had a lot to contend with Dad being alcoholic who could sometimes be violent......as an adult, I can see that. But I still had to acknowledge how it was for the little six year old girl who is at the foundation of who I am, and see it through her eyes again and allow myself to feel it from her point of view, and let her off the hook for failing a friend, so that I could move on. In writing the OP, it was the first time that I've really cried about Tina, and I've cried again with each of your replies...it has been a truly healing experience Thanks again. There are reasons for every "thing" & sometimes those 'things" are really crappy but the reason is so positive, I'm sure little Tina could see now how much you love & care for the dogs in your life & understand the reasons of "THINGS" You have been led to today by all that has happened & you wouldnt be here if they hadnt. I hope you are feeling better & all my best to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji&Cuddles Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 That is so sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavalblaze Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 You arrived to me in a cane picnic basket, your head popped out and I was instantly in love. Your lush black coat and tan markings with a touch of white on your chest. The most cutest Cavalier boy you were, such a chubby bub. We named you Bailey. You soon learnt how that mum was a big softy and dad was too. Puppy school was like a big playtime for you and you weren't worried that the other pups were double your size. Obedience school followed, ohhh.....did you give your mum a hard time. You never listened and always just wanted to play. Eventually you settled down and you were the best obedient dog. This was up until mummy brought home 2 ducklings....you thought they looked like alot of fun. You got into alot of trouble that night and you knew that you upset mummy. From then onwards you always tried to please mum, and was by her side during the worst times and the best times. You gained yourself a friend at the start of this year and he looked up to you as a father. You looked after him like he was your own. Two peas in a pod you two were so alike. On Sunday we took you for a stroll along the beach, you were so happy. Then suddenly mummy noticed that on Tuesday you were a bit off colour. She rushed you to the Vet were they did all sorts of tests. You were given lots of medicine but no matter how hard they tried, you didn't respond. They didn't give up hope and either did I. I called every 2 hours but still no change. We waited 2 days for test results to come in with the hope of finding a better treatment....but no....it wasn't to be. At 6pm on Thursday night the vet called and said it was Leukemia your organs had started to shut down and there was nothing that could be done. I rushed to be by your side, you couldn't lift your head, but I could see in your eyes that you were saying goodbye. My boy you were only 5 1/2 years old, you had so much affection to give, so much life to live. I'm so sorry to see you go, I always will hold you deep within my heart. Your little buddie cried for days after you left us, I'm trying to console him. He is so lossed without you. RIP Bailey, your journey may of been short but you left such a huge impact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Baggins Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Rom your post absolutly sent me under, could not read the replies for tears. My parents did in various pets during my younger years but nothing as sad as this. I am glad you aere now healing. RIP Tina Run Free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 post Bailey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misha&milo Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 post Bailey? I think the op accidently put their little tribute in here and doesnt know how to start another thread. Can troy do it for them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bokezu Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 A beautiful and very touching tribute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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