brigie bear Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi All, I am just after opinions on what you would do in my situation... One of my pooch boys is 14 years old (maltese x) and we love him dearly. He has a heart murmur, has gone 100% deaf, kidney problems which last week lead to him being hospitalised for 2 days on an IV because of an infection which had formed as his blood isnt filtered properly, and he also has cushings disease in his pituritary (sp?) gland. He also has dementia and has become partially incontinent. I say partially because sometimes he wets himself and other times he'll just pee wherever he feels like it... I am very torn with what to do... Last week I thought we were going to lose him and we probably would have if we hadnt done the bloods and found the infection... We knew there was something wrong with him but couldnt put our finger on what it was - there is such a combination of things it could have been... Anyhow, I have told our vet (who is lovely and we adore him - he puts up with a lot of worry from me lol!) that when he says its time to say goodbye then we are ready... It's not the sort of thing we would have to think about as we have already decided that we can't have him suffer. We have also decided not to treat him for cushings. My father had a dog with the same thing and they treated her for it and it was so far progressed like our boys that it did nothing but make her miserable and she died not long after. The thing is... I hate myself most of the time because I get so upset with him for weeing on the floor everywhere... We have just bought our first home 2 weeks ago and already we are going to have to rip out the carpet. I know its not his fault and he has been 100% toilet trained forever- until now and I have no idea what to do... I take him out 10-20 times a day but he still manages to wee inside. His water drinking habits are getting progressively worse - I'd say every day which passes he will drink another whole bowl. Today he drank 6 bowls of water. He drank a whole one in front of me and when he finished he pawed at his bowl, whined and looked up at me for more so I filled it again and hr drank 3/4 of it. I am at a loss with what to do... The vet assures me he is in no pain and now is not his time but I hate hate hate seeing him like this. He was always such a lively, happy dog with so much spunk - so obedient and loving. Now he barely moves, wont look at us in the eyes, wees everywhere and always looks so depressed... Plus his arthritis has gotten so bad as well as his muscles that his back legs are always trembling... What would you do in my situation? I love my old boy so much and dont want to lose him but just hate seeing him like this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Rules Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 What sort of quality of life do you think your dog has? Very little from what you have written, especially your last paragraph. You sound like a very caring owner but if that were my dog, I would give him his wings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Quality of life is the key issue. How would you rate it? How do you want to picture his last days... relative quality of life or something less than he has now. No dog deserves the distress of incontinence and a pissed off owner when its beyond his control. Sounds like its time to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puggy_puggy Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 him like this. He was always such a lively, happy dog with so much spunk - so obedient and loving. Now he barely moves, wont look at us in the eyes, wees everywhere and always looks so depressed... Plus his arthritis has gotten so bad as well as his muscles that his back legs are always trembling... If he can't happily go about his own buisness and trot around the house or garden or come up to you for a pat I would let him go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brigie bear Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? Find another vet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Rules Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Then go with your heart, and honestly, don't stop to think how YOU will handle it, focus on how the dog is right now, and that you would be doing the kindest thing for him no matter how you feel. You need to focus on the dog, not yourself, it will make it a lot easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog_Horse_Girl Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Only you know your dog best. I know that as much as it's hard for us to do, sometimes the only decision we can make is the one to let them go. It breaks our hearts and we feel so much pain for the loss we are facing, but it's the only thing to do when a dog is suffering in some profound way. Your dog would prefer quality over quantity. He won't know it's his time. He won't feel anything, other than the love you have for him to do this last act for him. It's very difficult to say goodbye and you will be very emotional. I've had to put a few of my dogs to sleep and it doesn't get any easier. But do what's right for HIM not you. Focus on his needs and the decision will be sitting there in front of you. Be strong for him. He needs you to make the right decision. You then need to make peace with it and yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puggy_puggy Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I have found that most vets will not say to an owner that they must give their dog wings. They usually leave it up to the owner to make the choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brigie bear Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Then go with your heart, and honestly, don't stop to think how YOU will handle it, focus on how the dog is right now, and that you would be doing the kindest thing for him no matter how you feel. You need to focus on the dog, not yourself, it will make it a lot easier. sorry, i think you may have misunderstood... I meant i dont know what i will do without him - im sure everyone whos ever owned a dog can say that - once u fall in love with them u just cant imagine life without them... please dont judge me or be harsh with me on this topic, its very hard for me and i'm posting this because of that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Rules Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Then go with your heart, and honestly, don't stop to think how YOU will handle it, focus on how the dog is right now, and that you would be doing the kindest thing for him no matter how you feel. You need to focus on the dog, not yourself, it will make it a lot easier. sorry, i think you may have misunderstood... I meant i dont know what i will do without him - im sure everyone whos ever owned a dog can say that - once u fall in love with them u just cant imagine life without them... please dont judge me or be harsh with me on this topic, its very hard for me and i'm posting this because of that... I don't mean to sound harsh or judgmental, I have faced your situation twice in the last couple of years, so I know how hard it is. But I also know how hard it is for the animal to exist like that, and it's just not fair on them to prolong such an existance. You said it yourself, you know in your heart it's time. And I'm pretty sure everyone here will agree with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxx'sBuddy Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Then go with your heart, and honestly, don't stop to think how YOU will handle it, focus on how the dog is right now, and that you would be doing the kindest thing for him no matter how you feel. You need to focus on the dog, not yourself, it will make it a lot easier. sorry, i think you may have misunderstood... I meant i dont know what i will do without him - im sure everyone whos ever owned a dog can say that - once u fall in love with them u just cant imagine life without them... please dont judge me or be harsh with me on this topic, its very hard for me and i'm posting this because of that... please don't take this the wrong way but i don't think anyone is being harse, you may be a bit more sesitive at the moment. what struck me in your post was that you said that the vet should let you know when it was time to give him his wings. i think this is where your dilema is...your vet isn't saying this. you live with your dog every day and only you know what he is going through. it seems to me that you know it is time for his wings. i wish you all the best in this really difficult time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brigie bear Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I have found that most vets will not say to an owner that they must give their dog wings. They usually leave it up to the owner to make the choice. I agree with you to an extent there... Though we live in a very small town and our vets know us all very well. He knows my feelings on the situation and he is still telling me now is not the right time. He told me that they take euthanasia very seriously and he doesnt want to jump the gun. He also told me a story about a couple a few weeks ago who he suggested having their dog PTS and they absolutely refused. He said the poor old thing was suffering so terribly and he asked them numerous times. The people got angry, took her to another vet 2 hrs away and she died in the car 10 mins after the vet appointment. I think thats terrible and I would never want to do that to my boy. Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Then go with your heart, and honestly, don't stop to think how YOU will handle it, focus on how the dog is right now, and that you would be doing the kindest thing for him no matter how you feel. You need to focus on the dog, not yourself, it will make it a lot easier. sorry, i think you may have misunderstood... I meant i dont know what i will do without him - im sure everyone whos ever owned a dog can say that - once u fall in love with them u just cant imagine life without them... please dont judge me or be harsh with me on this topic, its very hard for me and i'm posting this because of that... I don't mean to sound harsh or judgmental, I have faced your situation twice in the last couple of years, so I know how hard it is. But I also know how hard it is for the animal to exist like that, and it's just not fair on them to prolong such an existance. You said it yourself, you know in your heart it's time. And I'm pretty sure everyone here will agree with you. Sorry, I guess I am a little sensitive about it... Its just so hard because I have never had to make a decision like this before... Thats why I am posting this - because I didnt know if what I was feeling was right? I know that I know him best and I know whats best for him and that none of you have met my bub but I am so very confused as this is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life... Not only because I am losing my dog but because I am torn if it is the right thing to do. I mentioned it to my husband and he got mad with me and told me I should let him go in his sleep like nature intended... I dont like the idea of that, I just dont want to be jumping the gun. As you have gone through this before, think back and remember the very first time you ever had to make that decision... Add into the equation that I am 24 years old and he's my first dog and it just multiplies... I am just confused is all and wanted to know if I was doing the right thing... Thats what I am thinking... I believe in my heart that it is time, but my vet seems to think otherwise... How do I get around that? I ADORE him more than anything and this is honestly so hard (this will be the first dog I will ever have to PTS)... I dont even know how I am going to handle it... I love him so much... Then go with your heart, and honestly, don't stop to think how YOU will handle it, focus on how the dog is right now, and that you would be doing the kindest thing for him no matter how you feel. You need to focus on the dog, not yourself, it will make it a lot easier. sorry, i think you may have misunderstood... I meant i dont know what i will do without him - im sure everyone whos ever owned a dog can say that - once u fall in love with them u just cant imagine life without them... please dont judge me or be harsh with me on this topic, its very hard for me and i'm posting this because of that... please don't take this the wrong way but i don't think anyone is being harse, you may be a bit more sesitive at the moment. what struck me in your post was that you said that the vet should let you know when it was time to give him his wings. i think this is where your dilema is...your vet isn't saying this. you live with your dog every day and only you know what he is going through. it seems to me that you know it is time for his wings. i wish you all the best in this really difficult time You're right... I am being sensitive. I just dont want people to judge me for this as it is something I have never had to consider before... Its very hard and I am just so confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staff'n'Toller Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Sometimes when it's hard to find clarity, mark on the calendar each day giving it a good or bad rating. When your dog is having more 'bad' days in a week than 'good', it's time to think about letting them go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moosepup Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi brigie, It certainly is a very tough time when we need to say goodbye to one of our furrkids. I think you just need to have a really long think about it and you will know in your heart when is the right time. Remember that YOU are the one that sees him day in, day out, not his vet. We lost our two dogs, Ren and Stimpy, within a year of each other, both suffering with cancer. At the end, even though they were both still getting by we just felt that they were only hanging on for our sakes. They both went to sleep in our arms while we told them how great they were and how much joy they brought to us. Of course you will feel heartbroken for awhile but that pain will ease with the knowledge that you have done what is best for your little man. Big hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brigie bear Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 Sometimes when it's hard to find clarity, mark on the calendar each day giving it a good or bad rating.When your dog is having more 'bad' days in a week than 'good', it's time to think about letting them go. Thats a very good idea - thanks for that! I think one of the reasons im so torn about the decision is that one day he will be terrible - not move, wet himself, have to feed him in bed etc and then the next he'll be up and about, barking, wagging his tail, following me from room to room... Thats what makes it so confusing! how does one make such a huge decision when the behavior is so erratic? Hi brigie,It certainly is a very tough time when we need to say goodbye to one of our furrkids. I think you just need to have a really long think about it and you will know in your heart when is the right time. Remember that YOU are the one that sees him day in, day out, not his vet. We lost our two dogs, Ren and Stimpy, within a year of each other, both suffering with cancer. At the end, even though they were both still getting by we just felt that they were only hanging on for our sakes. They both went to sleep in our arms while we told them how great they were and how much joy they brought to us. Of course you will feel heartbroken for awhile but that pain will ease with the knowledge that you have done what is best for your little man. Big hugs. Thank you for your kind words. I'm so sorry for your loss also... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daxilly Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi, I realise that it is a difficult time for you. Imagine if you had lived a long and happy life and then your quality of life declined. If you were incontinent and could not enjoy the things you always had. Would you like to spend your last days like this, even if you were not in any pain? Unfortunately, you do not know what he wants! You must be his advocate and do what you think is in his best interest as somebody who has loved and cared for him. The Vet can look at his physical condition but you must see what is best for his overall happiness. Not being in pain is not the only criteria! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brigie bear Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi,I realise that it is a difficult time for you. Imagine if you had lived a long and happy life and then your quality of life declined. If you were incontinent and could not enjoy the things you always had. Would you like to spend your last days like this, even if you were not in any pain? Unfortunately, you do not know what he wants! You must be his advocate and do what you think is in his best interest as somebody who has loved and cared for him. The Vet can look at his physical condition but you must see what is best for his overall happiness. Not being in pain is not the only criteria! Very true... and strangely enough i used something similar to explain to my husband why i didnt want to treat him... (the meds he needs will zonk him out totally)... hubby got mad with me and i asked him "if you were a 90 year old man and you found out you had cancer, would you go through chemo?" he said no... Its just so confusing as one day hes great and one day hes not... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsKatie Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 First of all let me say I sympathise totally with your dillemma - having gone through it twice and having to make that hard decision - you really can never be 100% sure unless they are in extreme pain or suffering. You know your dog - you see his quality of life and - in the end - it is both the greatest gift you can give and the hardest choice you will ever have to make. Each day I get up to my old arthritic kelpie x i judge the quality of life she has and i dread the day i have to make that call - but in the end - only you can decide - they can only guide you by their actions. Your vet should respect your decision. Whatever you decide - you obviously love your dog very much and will do the best for him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missymoo Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 How is your little man? Whatever you decide it will be for him. Thinking of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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