baf65 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 hi im a new dog owner...we have a 16wk old cocker....i never thought it would be this hard and im finding it very hard to feel the love for the puppy!! im half regretting my decision....please reassure me it will get better! he is not doing tooooo badly with his house training...during the day im super vigilant and have him outside bout every hour just to see if he wil go....over night ive managed to get him to go on the mat in his puppy pen...its just the stench that i hate when i get up... when does the diarhea (sp) stop...we have had him 3 days i feel like my life has been taken away from me, my whole day is revolving around the puppy! unfortunately i have a demanding 3yr old to deal with during most days as well, trying to cater for both their needs has me in a hightened state of stress!!! please someone tell me that they have felt like this as well, i feel so mean to feel this way!!! he is a lovely fella and the kids adore him (but then again they dont have to do the looking after him!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koalathebear Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) Hi there - I can totally sympathise and it does get a little better. Our dog (whom we love to pieces) is named Elbie ... which is the polite version of L.B. which stands for Little Bastard because he really can be a very exasperating little bastard when he's at his worst He absolutely howled/cried/screamed the first three nights we had him and I remember saying to my OH: "that's it, ad in the paper tomorrow - free to good home." Of course I didn't mean it, but I was incredibly stressed and upset that we were doing something wrong and that's why he was being such a monster. The house-training is a tough phase. I'm sure a lot of people will suggest crate-training him - I can definitely vouch for crate-training being an effective method of toilet-training. Believe me, once the toilet-training is under hand, a lot of the other stresses become more bearable. As to the diarrhoea, it would depend on what you're feeding him but our puppy had runny poo when we first got him and that's because we didn't know and switched him over to new food when we got him. Apparently you're supposed to find out what he was being fed before and then slowly switch him over to the new food. Since then, he's had fairly solid poos. Because we were in a rental and the rest of the house was carpeted (white!), for weeks and weeks until we moved into our own place, my OH and I found ourselves camped in the kitchen. We took Elbie out for toilet breaks at 3am, 4am, 6am and 8am for the first few weeks. Then it was less. We're down to just one toilet break at night for Elbie now, but I can tell you that in the beginning - the lack of sleep was gruelling. Also, during the first three nights? He did quite a few panic poos in his crate and our back deck was covered with filthy, poo-covered blankets as I pulled out the old blanket, wiped down his crate, put in a new blanket and tossed the soiled one on the deck to wash in the morning. By morning, there was *so* much for me to wash it was foul. Once he settled down though and stopped crying, he no longer fouled his crate. I know it's a drain on your sleeping time, but if you take him out every couple of hours he may be less likely to soil his crate. Puppies can't hold it for very long, unfortunately ... In the early days, we had to stand out there in the cold waiting for the danged dog to do his business but each time he did it, we said: "poop poop" and praised him heaps. Now he does it on command and there's no more waiting for ages out there. My OH and I take turns with "dog duty" when one of us gets up at 4am or 5am to 'wee the dog' and make him a fresh hot water bottle. The joke is that every time it's my turn - it rains!!! We also had sooooo much conflicting advice being thrown at us ... People telling us we were mollycoddling him, people telling us we weren't being attentive enough ... People saying: "What's the big deal, he's just a "dog"" when actually he was a very helpless, small, young lifeform 100% dependent on us that felt like a complete alien to us because we just couldn't understand what he was trying to tell us. My friends from farms in particular were very impatient with what they considered mollycoddling. "Just tie him up in the yard with a bowl of food and a bowl of water - he's a dog." Our view was that our puppy has zero control over anything that happens in his life and how sad and pathetic is that? It made us feel very responsible. My partner and I had imagined that we were VERY prepared to take on the responsibility for a puppy but it really does take over your life in the beginning. You spend so much time just reacting to each new incident/challenge/problem that it's difficult to have the time to just 'enjoy' having the puppy. Maybe more experienced dog owners can do it on auto-pilot but I definitely feel quite sad that when Elbie was smallest and cutest - I was so busy being stressed about his crying/toilet-training/health/mental state of being/socialisation status that he grew up and became a mini dog rather than just a puppy before I knew it Nowdays, we still have challenges with him but he's settled a LOT and he's part of our day and our routine so it's a LOT less stressful. Hang in there - maybe I'm in the minority but I will confess that I felt very much the same as you in the beginning. These days, Elbie has a personality, I see him growing and learning and it really is very rewarding Edited June 30, 2010 by koalathebear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W Sibs Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Hi, welcome! So sorry to hear you are feeling like that. Raising a puppy is A LOT of work, and with a toddler on top, no wonder you're feeling a little stressed out. What have you been feeding your puppy? What was the breeder feeding the puppy when you got him? If he is having an upset stomach.. maybe you can cook him some rice and boil chicken, that usually settles an upset stomach. I have a 4 month old puppy who took longer to toilet train then my first one. It's hard work watching the pup all the time (but, i don't mind... my little girl is sooo damn cute!) and working out when it needs to go to the toilet. She also woke up 2 times a night to go to the toilet, and only just recently where I can get a whole night sleep!! Are you crate training your puppy? Because, that helps with toilet training the puppy too. Do you have a partner? Does he help out with the pup like taking it for a walk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussielover Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Hey, I totally understand how you are feeling. I am the owner of a 12 week old labrador and totally felt that way for the first two weeks. I was kind of thinking "what have I done?". They really do get better once they settle down and get into the routine of the home. When you can't watch your puppy put him in the puppy playpen or crate and give him some toys. You can also give him a stuffed kong or some other type of chew. Leave your puppy purposely for at least one hour a day. Go and do some shopping or something completely non dog related. Your puppy is fully vaccinated? You can start taking him for walks and perhaps to a park where he can be on a long lead and run around for a bit. I do about five, 15 minute play sessions with my pup I also do a 10 minute walk twice a day and around five 5 minute training sessions. The rest of the time the puppy sleeps. Re the diarhhoea, it can last up to a week if it is just stress. What food are you feeding him? As CW EW suggested, chicken and rice is good to settle tummies. If you couldn;t be bothered to make this, you can get a product from the vet called Hills i/d cans which are essentially chicken and rice in a can. If the problem persists longer than a week or the puppy becomes more unwell with vomiting and is lethargic, take him to the vet as somehting else may be going on. Good luck, but I am sure he will settle, you've only had him for 3 days after all. It took around a month for me to actually begin to really enjoy my puppy and really love her (that sounds bad doesn't it?). But it can be a really stressful time, especially if you haven;t had a dog before or for a while, or your previous dog was perfect! Now she is pretty good and a pleasure to have around and I really love her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussielover Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 By the way, i would say the pooing at night is either illness or stress related as most puppies of that age can hold on all night (poo at least). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Please contact his breeder- they will have the best knowledge of his diet and behaviour.... If you are feeding him exactly what he was getting with the breeder- he should NOT have diarrhoea ... did you take him for a vet check on purchase? Maybe it will be an idea now- so the vet can rule out anything serious. Get his tummy sorted first- then you can concentrate on the rest He will be stressed and anxious .. a bit like you- so take heart - he is but a baby still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenGirl85 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 It does get better! You obviously seem very devoted to the puppy so thats the best start, you want to do the best for him and that shows Id seriously consider crate training him, there are a lot of threads on here if you do a quick search if you arent sure how to go about that, it can really help with toilet training as well. The smell of urine isnt much fun, but if its over powering there is a chance he might have a UTI, you have a toddler so Im sure you know what healthy urine should smell like, you will know if its unhealthy. If you do think there might be an issue there take him to the vet and get that checked out, it will help if you can take a sample along for testing but make sure that ANYTHING used to collect the sample is sterilised before the collection or it will be contaminated As for the diarrhoea start him on a boiled chicken and rice diet for a few days until it clears up, in the meantime find out what his breeder was feeding him and start him on that, you can still change him to the food of your choice but change him over gradually until he is totally on the new food Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs tornsocks Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) hi im a new dog owner...we have a 16wk old cocker....i never thought it would be this hard and im finding it very hard to feel the love for the puppy!! im half regretting my decision....please reassure me it will get better! he is not doing tooooo badly with his house training...during the day im super vigilant and have him outside bout every hour just to see if he wil go....over night ive managed to get him to go on the mat in his puppy pen...its just the stench that i hate when i get up... when does the diarhea (sp) stop...we have had him 3 days i feel like my life has been taken away from me, my whole day is revolving around the puppy! unfortunately i have a demanding 3yr old to deal with during most days as well, trying to cater for both their needs has me in a hightened state of stress!!! please someone tell me that they have felt like this as well, i feel so mean to feel this way!!! he is a lovely fella and the kids adore him (but then again they dont have to do the looking after him!) If you have only had him three days, please know it will definitely get better !! Remember when you bought your 3yo home from the hospital ? I'm sure it was stressful and uncertain times. Just one clarification - he's already 16 weeks, but have you only had him that short period of time (ie three days) ? Or did you mean the diorreaha (why is that so hard to spell !???) has been going for three days. I'm just wondering where he's been from 8 weeks to 16 weeks - pretty impressionable times in a puppy's life. Good luck and do know it will get easier. Edited June 30, 2010 by mrs tornsocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koalathebear Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) Or did you mean the diorreaha (why is that so hard to spell !???) has been going for three days. Urgh .. yes. Diarrhoea and onomatopoeia are the two hardest words to spell ... ever. Although I am quite bemused by the number of times I see the following words misspelt lately: definitely separation devastation/devastated Edited June 30, 2010 by koalathebear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baf65 Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 thanks everyone...good to know im not the only one!! the diarrhea (sp again!) im hoping is just stress related..he is on the same diet as the breeder had him on.... im starting obedience training tonight..i hope its not too soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 I wouldn't recommend taking a pup with diarrhoea anywhere public , sorry . It may well be stress related- but what if it is NOT - and he spreads the bug around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxx'sBuddy Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 I wouldn't recommend taking a pup with diarrhoea anywhere public , sorry . It may well be stress related- but what if it is NOT - and he spreads the bug around? x2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenGirl85 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 thanks everyone...good to know im not the only one!!the diarrhea (sp again!) im hoping is just stress related..he is on the same diet as the breeder had him on.... im starting obedience training tonight..i hope its not too soon! Did the breeder mention if he had diarrhoea when you got him? Id be asking if it was something affecting him before he came home or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baf65 Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 all she said was he would probably have a bit of it for a few days....id say mushy poo rather than diarrhea actually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Honestly - a puppy who is a bit stressed, and has only been with you for 3 days ..and who has an upset tummy with cause unknown... stay home in the warm tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magstar Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 I agree- skip the obedience class tonight and let him settle in at home a bit more. And don't worry, things will get better. The first week is hard. You are still getting to know each other and setting up routines etc in that early stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baf65 Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 yeh okay i think i will take all your advice and start the training next week, maybe im expecting a bit much!! damn and i just cooked all those sausages up to chop up into treats! thanks guys, hopefully i wont be so stressed next week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenGirl85 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) yeh okay i think i will take all your advice and start the training next week, maybe im expecting a bit much!!damn and i just cooked all those sausages up to chop up into treats! thanks guys, hopefully i wont be so stressed next week! Yes definitely let him settle in first, maybe even give him 2 weeks before starting training, he has been taken away from everything he knows afterall ETA...nobody has mentioned yet, but its a silent rule to post pics of new pups on here Edited June 30, 2010 by GoldenGirl85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clyde Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 It could also be a change in water supply. please someone tell me that they have felt like this as well, i feel so mean to feel this way!!! Ohhhh yes!! I feel that way with every puppy, really. I end up in tears and wanting to give the pup to the milk man or anyone who is walking past. It's a long hard slog but so so worth it in the end. Just know your limits though. Do your best and if you can't manage, ask for help. If this fails then worst case scenario rehome pup in to a loving home but don't think locking the puppy outside will solve your problems. Not saying you would do that, but many do. ;) Good luck!!! If you've raised your child to reach 3 yrs and made it out alive, you can do this with a puppy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
labsrule Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 hi im a new dog owner...we have a 16wk old cocker....i never thought it would be this hard and im finding it very hard to feel the love for the puppy!! im half regretting my decision....please reassure me it will get better! he is not doing tooooo badly with his house training...during the day im super vigilant and have him outside bout every hour just to see if he wil go....over night ive managed to get him to go on the mat in his puppy pen...its just the stench that i hate when i get up... when does the diarhea (sp) stop...we have had him 3 days i feel like my life has been taken away from me, my whole day is revolving around the puppy! unfortunately i have a demanding 3yr old to deal with during most days as well, trying to cater for both their needs has me in a hightened state of stress!!! please someone tell me that they have felt like this as well, i feel so mean to feel this way!!! he is a lovely fella and the kids adore him (but then again they dont have to do the looking after him!) Put yourself in the poor pup's place - he has been taken away from where he was born and raised away from mum and the people that cared for him and he finds himself in a strange house with strange people who seem to be in a "heightened state of stress". He had no choice in this arrangement and is unsure of what is expected of him and is bewildered, confused, unwell and unhappy in his new strange surroundings with people that are already regretting their decision in taking him on I am not sure what you expected when taking on this pup, but I think you are being pretty unfair on this poor little guy in expecting too much after only 3 days and I can assure you he will be picking up on your stress and it will be impacting on him. Pups like babies are hardwork and the first few weeks of settling a pup in and sorting out toilet training will result in sleep deprivation and tiredness, but also great joy if you learn to relax and enjoy your pup instead of continually being stressed out by him . Insofar as toilet training goes, you are far better off to put in the hard yards upfront by taking him during the night to the toilet, instead of expecting him to use the mat and then getting stressed about the stench in the morning. This teaches him to "hold" until you take him out and sure there will be the odd accident where he hasn't be able to hold, but as he grows he will be able to hold for longer periods and you won't have the stress of waking up to the stench every morning, which will happen if he thinks he is to toilet on the mat. Where is he sleeping at night and does he get any outside time to explore his surroundings/yard, apart from going to the toilet. I wouldn't recommend you take him to obedience whilst he is not well and also whilst you are "stressed" as you are liable to get even more frustrated with him if he doesn't perform his tasks correctly. You need to start enjoying your pup, relax and play with him, start training him in the basic (sit, drop etc) with short training sessions, start with say 5min training sessions, twice a day, laugh at his silly antics, love him and build that bond with him. He should be fully vaccinated by now at his age, so you can also take him out for walks, say 15-20mins duration to start with. With the diarrhea, try feeding him small meals (say 5 meals every 2-3 hrs) throughout the day from morning to night of grilled/boiled chicken and rice. Feeding him small frequent meals will not overload his already compromised system and the rice and chicken is bland so will help him. You should hopefully see an improvement within 24 hrs of feeding the chicken and rice, but if the diarrhea continues I would be taking him to the vet. Yes it will get better, but you need to be more patient and give it time and also you have to put in the hard yards, as with most things in life "you get out of it, what you put into it". ;) Do you have a good rapport with your breeder so that when you do get overwhelmed you can discuss your concerns with your breeder? Go hug and enjoy your adorable new boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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