Post Puppy Depression

[kyliegirl]

had echo for 5 months so far, still trying to bond, its very hard since he is always trying to push us around it leaves little time to just respect and enjoy eachothers company I am hoping he will eventually get the point that he will not run the house and to just settle down and stop trying to push the boundaries. He is quite a full on puppy lol, I still have post puppy depression, not so bad now though.

Edited May 18, 2011 by kyliegirl

[B-Q]

It took me a few weeks to bond with Quinn.

With Buster it was the second I saw him.

Quinn was so new and different for me, this brand new puppy that I had waited for years to have was finally here and I kept thinking "she doesn't like me that much, she doesn't want to play, she ignores me" etc. It did take quite a few weeks and constant worry that she wasn't going to be what I wanted. She turns 12 months old in a week or so and I now love her as much as I love Buster, I truely couldn't imagine life without her.

[OSoSwift]

KG - I know from experience that Male Dobes can be rather trying until they are older. My personality doesn't go with male Dobes. Had a couple of bitches and we got along famously, but the males were always too full of their own self inportance and I like a dog that actually cares that I exist!

[kyliegirl]

Oh yes ohsoswift I agree that echo fits the book of "full of their own self importance", it takes alot out of me I think my next puppy addition will be a much more submissive breed with a personality to match my own, I think Echo and my personality clashes atm and it does not feel we are connecting very well because of this, but I am trying my best to make it work for both of us. we have those rare days where he will be good and be that lovely companion i yearn for, but alot of the time its VERY hard to get along, he is just that pushy.

Edited May 18, 2011 by kyliegirl

[Remarkabull]

KG - I know from experience that Male Dobes can be rather trying until they are older. My personality doesn't go with male Dobes. Had a couple of bitches and we got along famously, but the males were always too full of their own self inportance and I like a dog that actually cares that I exist!

I've found it to be opposite. I LOVE male Dobes the most. Mine are way more interested in me than themselves and would turn inside out to please me. They can be quite indifferent to other members of the family and will sometimes ignore commands made by OH and the kids (though this is not just the Dobe that does this, all of my dogs are MY dogs and will look at me after being told something by OH as if to say 'do we have to do it mum?') All the Dobes I've had have been very focused on me and are very careful not to pi$$ me off! I have not been challenged by any of them past or present.

[B-Q]

Oh yes ohsoswift I agree that echo fits the book of "full of their own self importance", it takes alot out of me I think my next puppy addition will be a much more submissive breed with a personality to match my own, I think Echo and my personality clashes atm and it does not feel we are connecting very well because of this, but I am trying my best to make it work for both of us. we have those rare days where he will be good and be that lovely companion i yearn for, but alot of the time its VERY hard to get along, he is just that pushy.

How old is Echo? I know you've been having issues feeling bonded with him for a while and I feel for you.

Quinn has been testing me so much for the last couple of months. Its only been the last few days that she seems to have come around to her post-teen self and I know we're not out of the woods yet.

She's put me in tears a few times over the last few months, I felt like we were just a bad match and wondered if getting a BC was a mistake.

I do feel for you. I hope things all work out.

[kyliegirl]

B-Q Echo is 7 months now, I heard they calm down after 1 yr so I am hoping this ends soon and he gets over is his doberteens as they call it I think i feel the same way as you and daily I wonder if getting Echo was a mistake. But he is here and I need to do my best to make it work

Edited May 18, 2011 by kyliegirl

[OSoSwift]

He never challenged me, he just didn't care if I was there or not, or any other people really.

The bitches were always only a few steps behind and actually cared if I was there or not. The male Dobe wasn't interested in food much either. He was too busy running around tearing up my back yard!

[Remarkabull]

He never challenged me, he just didn't care if I was there or not, or any other people really.

The bitches were always only a few steps behind and actually cared if I was there or not. The male Dobe wasn't interested in food much either. He was too busy running around tearing up my back yard!

Sorry, I didn't word it quite right. I meant none of them have been a challenge to own or train. I have found them to be very biddable and super affectionate and almost needy at times (which would drive some people crazy but I like it ) Acheron is always near me if he can be and if possible he likes to be touching me, even if it's just my foot resting against him while he is lying on the floor. Not for everyone I know but I really like that about them.

[B-Q]

B-Q Echo is 7 months now, I heard they calm down after 1 yr so I am hoping this ends soon and he gets over is his doberteens as they call it I think i feel the same way as you and daily I wonder if getting Echo was a mistake. But he is here and I need to do my best to make it work

Well definetly don't feel too down about it yet. You've still got plenty more months of teenage fun ahead of you. lol

[Guest english.ivy]

Instant bond to my Belgian Shepherd and it's taken some time to bond to my English Pointer, probably started to really bond when he turned 12 months. I thought it was going to be easy to raise a large breed male dog, err it wasn't!

I did think many times that it was a really bad idea to get him and thought a few times about sending him back to his breeder.

Now I love my Pointer to bits

[OSoSwift]

He never challenged me, he just didn't care if I was there or not, or any other people really.

The bitches were always only a few steps behind and actually cared if I was there or not. The male Dobe wasn't interested in food much either. He was too busy running around tearing up my back yard!

Sorry, I didn't word it quite right. I meant none of them have been a challenge to own or train. I have found them to be very biddable and super affectionate and almost needy at times (which would drive some people crazy but I like it ) Acheron is always near me if he can be and if possible he likes to be touching me, even if it's just my foot resting against him while he is lying on the floor. Not for everyone I know but I really like that about them.

See the males I knew (mostly from the same breeder, but not all) we all very independant and were not at all needy which is what I love in a dog. The Whippets do it prefectly but my Dobe Bitches followed me everywhere and were vlecro dogs.

[Puppybella]

Wow!

This topic has been so comforting to read! Thanks Panzer attack and everyone else for your experiences! I can relate to so many things you have said. I completely agree that whilst the internet and DOL are wonderful resources, they can be the source of a lot of angst - so much conflicting information and MUST DOs and DON'T DOs, such detail that sometimes I wondered if all the other people a full time puppy raisers!

I've had a new puppy for 2 weeks now, and I've been on edge for most of the time and feel like I'm missing out on the enjoyable puppy time. I'm a person that gets easily anxious at the best of times and a perfectionist to boot, which isn't so good when it comes to puppies! Little Bella is beautiful and really quite well behaved but I'm so nervous about doing the wrong thing that I feel like I'm constantly hovering and I can't get anything done in peace, even when she's locked up because I'm worried she'll have an accident. Outside I feel like a party-pooper mother because I'm constantly taking sticks from her because I'm scared she'll swallow something (she's a dachshund and apparently they eat everything). I think I'm all the more nervous because I was the one with the idea of getting a dog, and although the rest of the family agreed and love her too, I'm worried she'll turn into a badly behaved dog that we'll end up resenting.

In the last couple of days I've started to relax and recognise that we will raise her and train her the best we can, and that accidents and inconsistencies will happen but we will get there in the end in our own way. This topic has made me feel even better

Make sure you take loads and loads of photos during the first few weeks. In a few months when everything settles down you can look back and marvel at how tiny she was:)

As for picking things up, the first cue my puppy learnt was 'drop it'. He was always picking up socks and other stuff he found on the floor, so I kept treats on me at all times and any time he picked something up I would hold a treat in front of his nose and say 'drop it' and now he drops anything (including dead animals and bones outside) without me offering the treat. It's important that you always trade objects, don't just take them off her. You'll have a resource guarder in no time if you just take stuff off her.

Practice it a lot with toys and bones etc, give her a treat, then give the object back. That way she learns that it's fun when you take stuff from her, most of the time she will get a treat and/or get it back after a few seconds.

Thanks for the advice fuzzy. I do have treats in every available fold of clothing, the problem is I take something (usually sticks) away and give her a treat in return, but she won't have a bar of it! I have a few different varieties as well, so I shouldn't think she's bored of them. She'll even turn her nose up at treats sometimes when I'm rewarding her for going to the toilet outside. Any tips of what I could use to get her interested in what I'm giving her? She's just on full stick mode!

Cheers!

[GoldenGirl85]

My pup is 17 months old...nearly 18 months, and I'm only just starting to feel a bond with her, I never regretted getting her, but I just didn't feel any sort of connection with her, we weren't getting very far with training because we weren't communicating on the same level. Ive been getting some advice from another lady at my agility club and she has been helping us, at first it was because she looked after my dogs for a week while I was away, and she got some amazing work out of my girl

[Guest Panzer Attack!]

Puppybella - from my own experience, Scooter took a while to get into treats and also LOVES sticks. I found that changing his focus from sticks to tug toys (transferring value, very easy, just tease the dog with the toy and you'll find in no time she is VERY interested!) helped immensely with training, as he'll do mostly anything for a tug. Last night I was tugging with him ON TOP of my other dog LOL. He's getting better with distractions (yesterday he tugged for a few seconds instead of paying attention to a barking dog!), also keep in mind that she IS a baby (something I tend to forget as I've always had adults) and their attention span really sucks 99% of the time. Every day I notice that he is a bit more attentive and alert.

However! I know a bit more about his tastes and stuff now, and he will train HARD for 3 types of food only - liver treats (broken up into teeny tiny pieces - this is our big special toilet training treat), bbq chicken (I bought 1/4 on special at Woolworths and there was HEAPS) and cheese (not my favourite to use cos it's not exactly good for them). If I get these out, he will work. Also helps if you can do even one session of training with another dog that is very food focused. My partner's dog is a Cocker Spaniel (and the most food focused dog I have EVER met) and my other dog is also a piggy, and they've both taught my pup that food is pretty great and you should try and each as much as you can! ;)

kyliegirl - when I wrote this thread I thought of you immediately. I really hope things get better between you and Echo soon xx

[PetSitters]

Actually PF, it's very interesting that you mentioned the 'halo' effect of our old dogs. I am forever referring to our old girl as the easy one. One day, mum reminded me how, as an adolescent, she was quite destructive for a period there until we figured out her activity levels and training needs. How easily we forget. I dunno if Abby will make it so easy for me to forget. Time will tell, I guess.

The "halo effect" is very true. I had a wonderful Golden Retriever for 15 years, he was an awesome dog in every respect and was the best pet in the world in my eyes for the entire 15 years. After his passing I bought another Golden who is 8 1/2 years old now and when we went to pick out our new puppy, the breeder let the puppies out and there was only one with dark gold ears who looked just like my old boy when he was a puppy and I immediately chose him. My husband wanted to play with the others and check them all out, but I couldn't see past this one with the dark ears which felt at the time like my old boy had come back to me in puppy form to restart our lives together. You know of course consciously my new little chap was his own person with his own life and nothing to do with my old boy, but the bonding with him was instant I think after sharing 15 wonderful years with my old boy and having the opportunity to do it all again with puppy who looked just like him gave the bonding process a meaning. My new puppy was more affectionate than my old boy who didn't like cuddles much, my new one loved cuddles and sitting on my lap which made the bonding experience with him mutually easy and was most enjoyable.

[jakeyjangels]

Poodlefan's tricks to bonding with a puppy:

* Do not compare it with your existing or departed dogs. That way lies heartache. They're individuals like we are and personality takes time to develop. Give them time - your other dogs had it. You'll never "replace" those other dogs.. just add new dogs to your family.

* Expect the "oh my God what have I done" phase. It's normal. It takes time to develop routines for you and puppy, and all pups do some things that honestly make you want to throttle them at times.

* Take your puppy to training. Nothing IMO helps build trust and understanding than working together to develop skills and manners. Avoid the comparisons to other dogs here too - different pups learn.. differently!! You may have to shift your training techniques to get the most out of the new addtion.

* Don't be too hard on yourself. Not everyone falls in love with their pup on day 1. We don't often fall in love with our partners or family members on day 1 either. ;)

* Try to avoid fault picking and focus on the positives. Even seemingly demonic pups have them and comparing a pup to a mature dog that knew your life well is unfair.

* Accept that some pup/owner combinations simply don't work. If you get no joy from the dog, talk with its breeder or rescuer, contemplate responsible rehoming to a family or situation that suits the pup better. Training will help there - pups with manners get better chances for new homes.

And yes, these were developed the hard way. After 3 poodles, a Whippet puppy took time to adjust to. He's not like them - he's just Howard now. And I love him dearly.

ETA: There's one more thing I'll mention. Old and dearly departed dogs sometimes develop a 'halo effect'.. we remember them with love and sometimes forget that they were little buggers as pups too. It's easy to forget that all pups bring some upheaval and take time to fit in with us.

As usual, PF, so well said. I can so much relate to the 'halo effect' . And, as you said giving new puppies time to adjust to us is so true. I love your reading your posts

[Zug Zug]

I had a dog once that I just couldn't click with. Looking back now, I know it was a case of me being overwhelmed in my life for lots of reasons at the time. I had just lost my beloved first poodle to a car accident, and was devastated. I was just out of a long relationship and living as a single Mum for the first time. I was working part-time in a new career - overall life was very stressful.

But even after saying all that, I ended up eventually getting a second puppy (Mozart - he is now 13 and still with me) and we bonded so strongly, and so instantly, I suddenly realised 'you know what, this other pup is just not for me'.

Felt terribly guilty. But I found her another home. A really, really good one. I stayed in touch for a few months to make sure she was ok. She went to a really nice family who lived on acreage in the hills. They loved her absolutely - and in ways that I was never able to for some reason I will never understand.

It's the only time that has happened to me. Like you, I am a real 'dog person'. But I have to admit I still think about her, and I still feel a bit guilty. In an academic sense I believe I did the right thing. In an emotional sense, I will always feel that I was disloyal and should have stuck by her. So I don't know - I can't offer you any advice.

The other thing? Every single dog I have ever had has given me at least a few 'OMG why did I get you??? Why???' moments. They are usually short-lived, and I would say that is so common it is almost universal. It was different with this little dog though. It seemed to get worse over time, not better.

ETA: I don't want people to think I got Mozart while she was still very very young. She was almost 18 months old by then. I didn't want you all to think I gave up within weeks! Still feeling guilty I suppose but don't want you all to think I was awful!

And also adding: Mozart has always had a halo. My other girl Zamba will always have an invisible red tail and horns - but I absolutely adore her as well. She was WAY more naughty than the little dog I rehomed - but I loved her more for a reason I don't think I could ever really explain. It just is.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Zug Zug

[Henrietta]

Zug Zug, you should not feel guilty (yes, I know... easier said than done) about rehoming your little dog. It simply wasn't working and you rehomed responsibly. You made your dog and another family very happy. I don't think for a second that I could 'stuggle on' with a dog that I simply did not click with.

For all I said about my Abby, we did 'click'. It wasn't the wonderful bond we have now, but there was something there that could grow. It was difficult at times, but it just needed time and some dedication on my side! Sometimes that isn't enough.

[Ons]

I owned a cavalier Poppy and a maltese Daisy. Poppy passed away and there was a horrible empty house feeling with both Daisy and myself becoming very depressed. So I got my Onslow. A couple of years late Daisy got cancer and a heart problem so I knew that her life on earth was not for much longer. However I didn't want that horrible emptiness again so I found a litter of golden retreiver pups and put my name down for Tilly. I would would have 3 dogs for awhile and it would be company for Onslow as Daisy got sicker Four days before I was to pick up Tilly from her breeder Daisy got so sick she couldn't breath so the kindest thing was to put her to sleep I still feel guilty that people would think that I replaced Daisy so quickly and I did have problems bonding with Tilly for a few months, she was very needy and Onslow didn't like her for many many months. Now both Onslow and I love her to bits

Flash was a foster dog so I tried not to bond with him, failed miserably and he became a foster failure

Interesting with Latte I have always loved her and felt close to her and vice versa. but it just seems to me that in the last couple of weeks that we are forming a really close bond, she is becoming less reliant on Tilly and more reliant on me