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Being Called 'rude' For Setting Clear Rules.


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In mild weather I wouldn't hesitate leaving my dogs in the car in that situation. Not unless I had the key that locked the door to the bedroom...

I was going to suggest a locked car also. My dogs are very comfortable in "their" car.

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I would also second the car option if you were going to take your Annie. I took Tundra to footy (local town game, dogs are allowed, great for socialising!) and we stayed for dinner. I wasn't sure how he'd go in the car but every single time I checked on him he was happy thumbsup1.gif

We even had some friends go up to the car and pat him through the gap in the window & he was happy when they went by :)

Sadly his crate doesn't fit in the car (Chrysler sedan) but he had toys & treats & water. I figure the car is just like a big crate.

I think in your situation it's great that staying home will be your plan :) you'll get a chance to feel better & you don't have to stress about your dog at the party which is probably a bit stressful anyway (unless that's just me, organising things!?!? eek1.gif )

Best of luck & congrats to your partner on coming out :)

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it looks to have all worked out for the best for your puppy. I hope our tests come back the way you want them to and you get back on track as well.

Something that struck me about your original post and might have contributed to the reaction you got though is that you are taking your dog to someone else's home. Despite this you (with all the best intentions) are stamping your feet and demanding rules are in place. Do you think that maybe working with your friend and getting them on side so that they support you and help their friends understand the rules might be a better idea?

I find that when I approach things in that way they tend to work out better. Afterall it is their house and my dog is just a visitor.

Just a thought.

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I would buy one of those hook latch things for a couple of dollars & put a small padlock through it so no one can go in the room at all. Parties, drunks, dog like this do not mix well.

There will only be 3 very tiny screw holes in the door which you can repair with ease after the event.

Some people are just idiots.

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The other thing to consider going forward is (and I would say this to anyone with a dog that's challenging to manage) ... if you've got to the point where you are having to take such measures to manage your dog's behaviour, is it time for some top rate professional help???

I have a view that dog ownership should generally bring joy, not stress and having to constantly arrange your life and important life events around your pet. Is professional help something you would seek or have you already gone down that route?

It's great that you are so committed to her welfare but perhaps some assistance can lessen her issues over time.

Edited by Haredown Whippets
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No way I would let someone visiting my house for any reason put screw holes in my doors, no matter how small or 'repairable' !!

I echo Haredowns post. If you haven't already, seek professional help, as living life around a dog with issues is really not what dog ownership should be about. Good luck.

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No way I would let someone visiting my house for any reason put screw holes in my doors, no matter how small or 'repairable' !!

Morning brain :laugh: I thought the party was at her own house.

I would leave the dog at home.

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No way I would let someone visiting my house for any reason put screw holes in my doors, no matter how small or 'repairable' !!

Morning brain :laugh: I thought the party was at her own house.

I would leave the dog at home.

Lol I did wonder if that's what you thought because it sounded way off to expect to be allowed to screw into someone else's doors!

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I echo Haredowns post. If you haven't already, seek professional help, as living life around a dog with issues is really not what dog ownership should be about. Good luck.
I wasn't going to be the first to say anything, but this was my immediate thought particularly when Better Late said Bonnie was their first dog. Very sad for everyone concerned really. Edited by Dame Danny's Darling
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I used to get called "rude" on the hockey field cos I'd issue commands to the rest of the players to organise our defence. I had a chat with the two who got most upset and explained I couldn't say "if you wouldn't mind could you please take three steps to the left, thank you" because by the time I got to "mind" the ball would have gone through the gap I wanted them to plug.

I said, if they don't move - I assume they didn't hear and will repeat (if the ball hasn't gone already). I said it's ok if they don't want to move - just wave so I know they heard. And after a few times of the ball going exactly where I told them to be - they would just do what I said, and we won a lot more games.

There's some people who are going to think you rude if you just yell and don't say please and thank you or explain but there are times when that's what you've got to do. You can explain afterwards to some of them but not all.

In this situation of the extremely anxious dog - I'd consider making up an injury or some really nasty disease that will repel people. A really bad smell would do as well but that might not be so good for you or your hosts. And occasionally - people haven't noticed there is a dog in that covered table box anyway. Not so good if they decide to use the crate as a seat tho.

If the hosts of the party cannot provide you with a secure safe spot for your dog - it would be better if you don't bring it. Which might mean staying home. My dog can't visit my brother any more because he won't provide her with safety from his dog. If my brother would co-operate and prevent his dog from attacking mine - we could visit but he won't so she stays home.

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Again, thanks to all concerned. We adopted Bonnie in December last year and saw the amazing Nekhbet on January six. With her help Bonnie has come on in leaps and bounds, it's a management thing with her and while she's our first dog we're striving to do everything we can for her. We're not perfect but we're putting in a bloody lot of effort I can tell you.

As it stands I'll be staying home with her as I'm too sick to go. Better for everyone this way.

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