yes i live with perants and brother and sister,
another thing ive noticed lately and i will cross post exactally what im talking about form a nother fourm but l give some back goround on my version
essentialy its my dog, i give it all the attention, feed, bath, walk, play, clean up afterwards, and pay all vet bills food ect.
my dad ignored the dog and never had much to do with it as he didnet want it in the first place but that aside my concern is very much the same as the cross post below,
as soon as the dog does something wrong il say NO and ually she wil stop or jsut contnuie being a pup.
as soon as my dad come ein and says NO she will go stright on her back and be submissive to the "alpha male"
my situaton is exact as teh one below, i jsut dident go into uch detial on my personal situation
KING OF THE CASTLE SYNDROME
I often hear from people that are not experiencing any real behavior problems with their dog, but they want an explanation for a very common phenomenon that I call "King of the Castle Syndrome". The call almost always comes from the woman of the house. Jane wanted a dog and John didn't. They agreed that Jane would get the dog and it would be her dog. Jane gets the dog and she's very happy! She dotes on him, she feeds him, bathes him and brushes him every day. She provides him with everything a dog could ever want -- except leadership. John ignores the dog most of the time, but is not unfriendly to him. When the dog approaches John while he's reading the newspaper John looks at him, then goes back to reading. When the dog approaches Jane she stops what she's doing and plays with him. What has prompted the phone call is that Jane is feeling rejected by the dog. When John comes home from work the dog acts like he's greeting his long lost, beloved grandmother. John gives the dog a pat on the head and a "Hi there dog" and goes about his business. Jane is upset because the dog is never that happy to see her and she always lavishes attention on him when she gets home! During the evening the dog will lay quietly and happily at John's feet. When he wants attention he goes to Jane and bugs her until she gives him what he wants. What has happened, over time, is that John has begun to enjoy having a dog. When John is so inclined, he calls the dog over for petting or ball throwing or to take him for a walk. As much as the dog seems to love Jane, he is completely devoted to John. John has the attitude of an alpha. That's all it takes, attitude. It doesn't take aggression, it doesn't take rolling a dog onto it's back and growling, it doesn't take hitting or yelling -- just attitude.
YOUR NEW ATTITUDE
To develop your new attitude you're going to have to think like a dog! When your dog comes to you for attention think of it as his way of saying "I'm still in charge, right? I want you to confirm that for me". Now, think of all of this from his viewpoint. Way down in his little brain he's thinking "geez... I hate this ... all I want to be is the adored house pet, can't one of you take over?" Compare this attitude to a 13 year old child who says "Get out of my life, I can make all my own decisions, stop telling me what to do". The kid really does feel that way, he's not making it up. Imagine what would happen if you said to the kid "Here ya go honey, here's the address where you send the mortgage payment and here are the utility bills and you do know how to do your own grocery shopping, right?? I'll be in my room, you're on your own!" As sincere as the kid is about wanting to be in charge, he knows he's not equipped to handle all of that. He needs an adult to be in charge of most things; he needs guidance and leadership. One of the differences between dogs and children is that dogs don't grow up and move away and start their own packs. They are our responsibility forever. We have to be their leaders forever.
You need to get your dog's attention and do it quickly and let him know that he's no longer in charge. This will free him of the responsibilities he now feels as pack leader and make him more relaxed and happier and much easier to get along with. He is pleading with you to take charge. His behavior is a way to push you and push you and push you some more and make you take the leadership position.
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
FIRST 48 HOURS:
Ignore your dog for a full 48 hours. If you want you can start this tomorrow morning, or you might want to take a day to think about it or pick a day that's more convenient for your schedule. Just be sure that when you start it you can give the technique a full 48 hours of your time.
Give him nothing at all for those two days. No attention, no petting, nothing. Don't say his name. Pretend that you have an invisible dog that needs to eat and go outside. Put his dinner down, but don't call him or talk to him or anything. If he'll go outside to pee and come back in on his own, without you calling him, you can do that, otherwise put him on a leash (without saying a word) and take him out to go potty and bring him back in, all without interacting with him in any other way. Do not physically isolate him from you by crating him (other than the normal times he'd be crated) or putting him outside or in a garage. The reason this technique works is because it involves social isolation, not physical. The very important part of this technique is the part where you ignore him. If he nudges you for attention, do nothing. Nothing! Don't tell him to go away, don't tell him "no", pretend you don't notice that he's there. He may try harder, at first, to get your attention and this is where you must ignore him. If he's able to get your attention by trying harder then he will be rewarded for that behavior and you'll have a much more difficult time getting him turned back around. If he gets so pushy that you have to do something, you can use physical isolation for a short time. Go into another room and close the door or put him in his crate. If he scratches at the door or does anything that you feel you have to respond to then put him on a leash, tie the leash to your waist or your arm and go about your business without talking to him or interacting with him. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to not let him get your attention -- even negative attention like yelling at him.
By the middle of the second day you may find he's sleeping most of the time. This is the relief period. He's convinced now that you really do intend to be the alpha and so much responsibility has been lifted from his shoulders that he just crashes. That's OK-- let him sleep.
DAY THREE:
Start the day the same as the previous two days. Let him out and feed him or whatever your normal routine is, all without saying a word to him or interacting with him in any way. Then, call him to you. If he comes to you right away, tell him to "Sit", pet him and tell him what a good boy he is, then walk away. If he doesn't come to you when you call, turn your back on him (this is important!) and leave the room. No matter what he does that first time (come to you or not) wait an hour and do it again. Call him to you. When he comes to you and sits spend at least 5 minutes interacting with him -- petting, talking, whatever you want to do. Then, end the attention time. Walk away. For the rest of the day call him to you at various intervals (an hour, 20 minutes, 2 hours, 10 minutes) and give him about five minutes of attention each time.
DAY FOUR:
You can relax things quite a bit today. Give him attention any time you're in the mood, but still ignore any attempts on his part to demand your attention. Because of his history of biting you will probably have to make this a life long rule --- attention on your terms only, not ever on his, but that's not too difficult a rule to live by. He can still get all of the attention a dog would ever want, it's just that you're going to initiate the attention and end it. If, months from now, you feel he's been so good that he can start asking for attention you can give it at try. The way you test it is to let him ask for your attention once or twice and then the next time ignore any attempt at getting your attention. If he accepts your decision (no attention) then he's probably OK. If he gets more pushy, then he's probably on the road back to his old ways. It is quite natural for a dog to try to make his way up the pack ladder as far as he can go. He may test the rules every now and then for the rest of his life. Don't worry about it. Just say no.
DAY FIVE AND FOREVER AFTER:
Now that the issue of leadership has been resolved, it's time to start the Nothing in Life is Free program. NILIF is a useful technique for all sorts of behavior problems, not only for those dogs that have a history of dominance confusion. For that reason, it gets it's own page and is not repeated here.
