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For Those Who Want A Laugh


Lollipup
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So that you may laugh at my embarrassment....

This is a true story - it happened to me when I was about 4 or 5 years old. It was awful and I'll never forget it. I still loved dogs after this, but I can't look at poodles the same again.

My mum had a friend that had some toy poodles. She often brought them over with her when she came to visit. We had a chihuahua but I loved to play with other dogs so I was excited when she brought her poodles over. One of them was a dark brown or black one, not sure and I don't remember his name. But he was in the backyard with me and Mum and her friend went inside to make a cuppa.

Well this poodle was new and interesting - of course I wanted to play with it. But he wasn't interested. Well I wanted to pat and hold him. He would come close but then run off. Then he came close enough for me to scoop him up and hold him in my arms. Yay! I was holding the poodle.

Well the poodle starts to squirm in my arms like he wants to get away. He's pretty big for a little kid and he's putting me off balance. So i start to lean down to put him back down.

Well thats when it happened.

As I leaned, he twisted. He twisted toward the ground to jump down from me. As he twisted he strategically aimed his poo-hole at my face. And let loose. He projectile-pooped a brown sea of smelly slop all over my face. It was runny and warm. I closed my eyes. I screamed. I quickly realised to stop screaming as its vital to keep my mouth shut. I scream through tightly shut lips. The adults come running. I couldn't breathe! I swear I heard the poodle's owner laughing. They led me inside to the bathroom. Mum kept saying "keep your mouth shut!" Then mum cleaned off my face and washed it with A LOT of dettol. I'm pretty sure I heard her laughing too.

That day I learnt not to ever touch a dog that doesn't want to be touched. Especially poodles.

Anyone got an embarrassing story to top that one? I hope my humiliation has entertained someone.

And I still love dogs. But I must say poodles aren't my favourite. :rolleyes:

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You had a VERY close encounter with a dog's anal glands. :rofl:

May not have been pleasant but at least he didnt' bite you. :D

Very true! I thought my title might have grabbed your attention Poodlefan :rolleyes:

I know another good anal gland story. Do you remember the AAMI ad where the car jumps through the sun roof of a car and makes it crash into a pond?

The dog belonged to a member of the NSW agility community. She? was taught to jump through the roof of the car and then they added the "talent".

Dog jumped as taught and young lady in the passenger seat screamed.. dog released glands into her hair!! Apparently no one was game to tell her what the smell was. Due to a tight shooting schedule they merely dried her hair with a hair dryer and continued the shoot.

Eeeuuuu

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Mine doesn't involve poo but as a toddler my favourite 'toy' was our dog Chimmy. No idea what breed he was but he was face to face with me so obviously he was of the short legged variety. Anyway I used to sit on the back steps gumming my vegemite toast and without fail Chimmy would steal it and make me cry and mum would rouse on me and tell me not to sit there where he could get it. One day I got angry about the loss of my uneaten toast and bit Chimmy on the ear. Chimy turned around and bit me back. Apparently mum came out to the back door and we were both sitting there crying.

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:eek::laugh: :laugh:

That is one story!! I sure don't envy you!

Funnily enough, I've got a similar disgusting story involving my childhood pet poodle - maybe it's a poodle thing, giving us a false sense of security with their fluffy cuteness? :laugh:

I was about eight. My mum was taking myself and the poodle to a friend's place for dinner, and she had, rather unwisely, fed the poodle a bunch of raw chicken bits only perhaps twenty minutes before getting in the car. Poodle was still a pup, and not fully accustomed to the car, and for some odd reason mum liked to keep the pup in her handbag on the passenger side floor. :laugh: Anyway, pup suddenly got very fidgety as we were driving and crawled up onto my lap. I though, aw, how cute, and cooed and fussed over her as she crawled all over me. Next minute, she stuck her head down the back of my shirt and vomited all the contents of her stomach (about three semi-digested, raw chicken pieces) all down my back. I remember pandemonium as I started screaming and flailing and mum had to pull over and rescue me. :laugh:

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:D :laugh: :laugh:

That is one story!! I sure don't envy you!

Funnily enough, I've got a similar disgusting story involving my childhood pet poodle - maybe it's a poodle thing, giving us a false sense of security with their fluffy cuteness? :laugh:

I was about eight. My mum was taking myself and the poodle to a friend's place for dinner, and she had, rather unwisely, fed the poodle a bunch of raw chicken bits only perhaps twenty minutes before getting in the car. Poodle was still a pup, and not fully accustomed to the car, and for some odd reason mum liked to keep the pup in her handbag on the passenger side floor. :laugh: Anyway, pup suddenly got very fidgety as we were driving and crawled up onto my lap. I though, aw, how cute, and cooed and fussed over her as she crawled all over me. Next minute, she stuck her head down the back of my shirt and vomited all the contents of her stomach (about three semi-digested, raw chicken pieces) all down my back. I remember pandemonium as I started screaming and flailing and mum had to pull over and rescue me. :laugh:

Oh dear that would not have felt good! :eek:

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