Hey Dog Person! Is This You?

[Panto]

baaahahahahaha

You might be a dog person if . . .

• You have to slam the door in at least one furry face if you have the slightest hope of ever going to the bathroom by yourself.
• You've ever apologized to your dog for slamming the bathroom door in his face.
• You really don't care if you go to the bathroom by yourself or not.
• Your dog knows you'll rub his butt while you're sitting on the toilet.
• You are absolutely not embarrassed to have your dog see you get out of the shower.
• Your dog has watched you throw up.
• The windows in your house are covered with dog nose goobers from 3 feet down (or from 6 feet down if you own a jack russell).
• You've ever asked your dog, "What should I wear today?" or "Does this look okay?"
• You can sleep through an F5 tornado or a gas line explosion but wake in an instant if you hear the dreaded pre-barfing gagging noise in the middle of the night.
• You've ever stepped on a Nylabone, barefoot, in the middle of the night, while rushing to let your dog outside because he's making the pre-barfing gagging noise.
• You spend hours pondering the best diet for your dog but eat microwave popcorn for your own supper.
• You can pick dog hair out of your food without missing a beat but nearly lose your lunch if you find a human hair in your sandwich.
• You've fed your dog cereal off your spoon, then absent-mindedly gone back to eating cereal with the same spoon.
• You realize you've fed your dog off your spoon . . . then shrug and keep eating.
• You've sat at work, crying, because you just got an e-mail that a friend's dog died.
• You have explained – repeatedly – to family members that no, you cannot attend the birthday party, anniversary party, graduation party, engagement party, confirmation, family dinner for no good reason, Mother's Day/Father's Day get-together, wedding, funeral or audience with the Pope because you're dog isn't feeling well.
• Your cupboards are always well-stocked with salmon oil, Cosequin, Missing Link, Zuke's treats, Natural Balance rolls, freeze-dried liver and sweet potato chews but you routinely run out of milk, bread and cereal.
• You've ever had to explain suspicious bruises to a medical professional and assured them – repeatedly – that you feel safe in your home.
• You've had a split lip, black eye, broken nose, rope burn or mild concussion caused by a dog belonging to yourself or a friend.
• You've asked an auto dealer to take the seats out of a van so you could measure for crate space. You've had days where your only goal was to get home from work while there's enough daylight left so you can see to pick up dog poop in the yard.

And these are specifically for those who run Agility with your dog(s):

• You have explained – repeatedly – to family members that no, you cannot attend the birthday party, anniversary party, graduation party, engagement party, confirmation, family dinner for no good reason, Mother's Day/Father's Day get-together, wedding, funeral or audience with the Pope because you're entered in a four-day, out-of-state trial that weekend.
• You refuse to drive 20 minutes through a blizzard to get to the office but will drive an hour through a blizzard to get to an agility trial.
• You've ever tried to explain an agility trial to a medical professional while trying to have exercise induced asthma diagnosed.

[FalconRange]

baaahahahahaha

You might be a dog person if . . .

• You've ever had to explain suspicious bruises to a medical professional and assured them – repeatedly – that you feel safe in your home.
• You've had a split lip, black eye, broken nose, rope burn or mild concussion caused by a dog belonging to yourself or a friend.

These two. So many times.

[Little Gifts]

If the only times you've ever needed surgery was as a result of a dog related fall. I'm at 4 of those now!

[W Sibs]

guilty

[persephone]

You can sleep through an F5 tornado or a gas line explosion but wake in an instant if you hear the dreaded pre-barfing gagging noise in the middle of the night.

• You can pick dog hair out of your food without missing a beat but nearly lose your lunch if you find a human hair in your sandwich.
• You've fed your dog cereal off your spoon, then absent-mindedly gone back to eating cereal with the same spoon.
• You realize you've fed your dog off your spoon . . . then shrug and keep eating.
• You've sat at work, crying, because you just got an e-mail that a friend's dog died.

You've had a split lip, black eye, broken nose, rope burn or mild concussion caused by a dog belonging to yourself or a friend.

:) :)

[Mojopoodle]

Storm ealier this week - slept right through, pre-barf gagging last night... Straight out of bed... This is so true...

[sparkycat]

You start a new job and within a day your chair is covered with dog and cat fur.

You phone the glazier and say your deerhound bounced a family member through a window again and the insurance company actually pays 3 of these claims.

You don't buy a beautiful house because there are too many stairs to the back for your oldie.

[Staffyluv]

I tick all those boxes

Replace the agility ones with 'it is Zig's day to go to the park' and I hit those ones as well..

[Roova]

If you're staying overnight with your dog somewhere you pack more stuff for the dog than you do for you!

[FlowerProwler]

I really didnt think I was too bad. But oh gosh I can relate to so many of these.

[kezzzza]

All of the above, I've have a slab of concrete layed in my back yard and I had just finished night shift when the truck arrived about 7.30am I heard about 3 beebs of the truck reversing, (which was right next to my bedroom window) that was it but one of the dogs just has to make a noise and I'm awake

[Katdogs]

Sooooo many of them are me

How about:

You have a box of dog toys on the shelf so you always have a gift for them if they need one or for the next five Christmases, but for Valentines you got your husband ANOTHER copy of the same CD you got him at Christmas because you forgot. (It's a nice CD, though - Sarah Blasko )

[Simply Grand]

Sooooo many of them are me

How about:

You have a box of dog toys on the shelf so you always have a gift for them if they need one or for the next five Christmases, but for Valentines you got your husband ANOTHER copy of the same CD you got him at Christmas because you forgot. (It's a nice CD, though - Sarah Blasko )

Yep to all of them! I did rad the first one and think meh, who bothers to close the bathroom door on them

[bianca.a]

Classic and oh so true!

[poochmad]

Your dog knows you'll rub his butt while you're sitting on the toilet. Yep, done this. Well, what else is there to do??

You've ever asked your dog, "What should I wear today?" or "Does this look okay?" I always talk to the dogs - we have great conversations.

You can sleep through an F5 tornado or a gas line explosion but wake in an instant if you hear the dreaded pre-barfing gagging noise in the middle of the night. OMG so true! Jindi has a habit of vomiting wherever she is (lazy bugger) and one night I leapt out of bed and raced her outside, all the while with the husband dazed and confused, asking - what's happening?

You can pick dog hair out of your food without missing a beat but nearly lose your lunch if you find a human hair in your sandwich. So true! :laugh:

You've sat at work, crying, because you just got an e-mail that a friend's dog died. Done this. A friend of mine lost their Staffy when a bone got stuck in its throat. Still makes me sad.

Your cupboards are always well-stocked with salmon oil, Cosequin, Missing Link, Zuke's treats, Natural Balance rolls, freeze-dried liver and sweet potato chews but you routinely run out of milk, bread and cereal. I am running out of milk, but the dogs' treat cupboard is always full. :D

You've ever had to explain suspicious bruises to a medical professional and assured them – repeatedly – that you feel safe in your home. When I first started at a hospital I had a black eye from my Gordon Setter that ran into me...I was actually 'counselled' by a counsellor about domestic violence. *Rolls eyes.*

You've had days where your only goal was to get home from work while there's enough daylight left so you can see to pick up dog poop in the yard. Travelling an hour to and from work in winter is the pits. I know that by the time I get home, I'm going to have to use a torch in the freezing cold to get the poo.

[Guest donatella]

This is me re the food! I'll live off canned tomatoes and takeout to avoid going to woolies but if the dogs need fresh mince I'm straight there and only then do I do my groceries :laugh:

Edited February 16, 2013 by donatella

[madonmunsters]

When booking a holiday, or camping site ,1st question ARE YOU DOG FRIENDLY,and then ask about availabilty etc.

[Panto]

If you're staying overnight with your dog somewhere you pack more stuff for the dog than you do for you!

yes this!! We can't carpool on road trips because crate and dog go in the backseat!

and yes, she has her own travel kit, travel bowl, and travel bag. the back of the car has an emergency kit for breakdowns and half of it is dog things (inc spare leash in case i come across a stray or runaway dog!), and always loads of spare towels!

[HugL]

More to add:

When asked how your kids are you reply good and then talk for next 20min (minimum!) about your dog

You only buy clothes that don't show/collect dog hair

Your only good clothes are for showing

You have special sneakers for training the dog but use crappy ones for the gym

You are so busy training the dog to accept people into your home that you forget to greet visitors

Someone teaches your daughter to sit, drop and rollover as soon as she can walk (yes this did happen!)

You think it's unfair that your dog can start school after 16 week vac but you have to wait till kids are 5

You get strange looks at the shops when your child refuses to stay with you and you say in exasperation "the dog's better behaved - he comes when called!"

You tell your daughter she's finally getting a brother and bring home a puppy

OMG I didn't realise how bad I was. Can anyone give me details for Dog Mad Anonymous???

[BCPuppy]

Hehehehe so much is true

How about the dog has her own freezer full of best meat I can buy where we live off cheap cuts.

Planning a trip away camping involves weeks of making and freezing individual serves of dinner and sourcing bones that fit into the Tupperware box that fits the portable fridge best - sometimes I wish I didn't feed raw next trip is for 6 weeks bush aargh