What Have I Done!

[SamanthaGSD]

Its all my fault. I thought my family (wife, son and daughter) were ready to have a dog in the family. I grew up with many animals, mainly dogs and cats, also mice, gunea pigs and rabbits. It was a shared responsibility.

I have worked and continue to work very hard to provide for my family. We recently moved from Brisbane to Sydney where we purchased 3/4 of an acre with a nice size house and fully fenced established gardens. Perfect I thought, heaps of room for everyone.

When in Brisbane we had a 590m block with established and fenced gardens. I tried to adopt a large male golden retriever that came from a farm, but I was the only one that could "handle" him and look after him from walking to bathing, visiting the vet and cleaning up after him. It was ALL up to me. (That and I work full time as a shift worker and travel). It finally became too much for me so I had to relocate him to a more loving family (back to another farm!).

Anyhow after much research I asked my wife and children if they would like another dog. My wife hesitated she is not a dog person or any animal person (except chickens). As I would be spending more time at home (not going away as much), I thought it would be a good idea. I have always admired and wanted a German Shepherd. They are very loyal, protective and smart dogs. All the traits that I thought would be good with a family.

We have had Samantha now for just over a week (9 weeks old). She is crated at night, during the day I have had to set up a steel playpen, which has a nice bed with cotton futon, toys and water bowl. When I am not cleaning up etc I spend as much time playing with her outside with games and exercise. I get up during the night for her toilet and first thing in the morning.

My wife and children are scared of her, as being a puppy has a lot of energy and VERY sharp teeth. Sam seems to only listen to me. She play bights my wife and children, jumps up at them and when not sleeping finds something to chew on, including our rugs, furniture, clothes and other household items.

I know she is a puppy, puppies do these things. But I cant be there 100% of the time keeping her under some sort of control. I have purchased nearly every toy that I thought would keep her amused. Including rope chew, kongs and nylabones.

I look like I have gone 10 rounds with a razor wire fence. My arms and hands are covered in cuts and blood from her play biting so that she leaves my wife and kids alone. When I tell her to stop or No she does. She has learnt to sit on command as well as toilet trained already. I have pleaded with my wife and kids to follow my examples in training etc. but they are too scared.

I dont know what else to do. She is not ready for her next vaccination for another 2 weeks, so puppy school, walks etc are still a no-go.

My daughter tonight (6yo) said she doesnt like Sam at that we should have got a poodle! Tonight I was cleaning up after Sams dinner, my wife yells "sam is under the table ready to go to the toilet". I said grab her and take her outside. My wife flatly refused and Sam had an accident.

I feel so angry, upset and sad that I dont have a "dog" family. I feel sad for Samantha.

I feel lost. I keep trying to convince my family that it will get better. I have asked my wife to read some of the books I bought on GSD's and traing, but she is not interested.

Any suggestions? PLEASE help.

Rob

[Sezy]

Could you get a private trainer in????

[Flaves]

I agree Sezy and Rob your wife needs to step up to the plate aswell.

If they act like they are scared and don't reprimand the pup for her biting it will only get worse.

Go to a puppy play group at your local vets and have the family go with you and learn how to behave around dogs and how to train them too

Good luck

[Nevafollo]

seems like you choose the GSD because you wanted it, and didnt think about your wife or kids when making the choice.

I'd get a trainer in (or get her to puppy preschool and obedience class' asap) and work with the whole family training sam to be a family dog that the kids WANT to be around and that your wife doesnt mind having around even if she isnt a dog person!!!

[SamanthaGSD]

Thanks for the quick replies. Yes I certainly will be getting her to puppy school and obedience training as soon as she is FULLY vaccinated. Yes I did chose a GSD, on the basis that my wife did NOT want a small "yappy" dog (I love all dog breeds). I researched quite a few breeds and we settled on a German Shepherd based on some of the qualities I mentioned in my first post.

I know and am fully commited to the amount of time and effort required to establish a young puppy into a well balanced, well trained healthy dog (companion and family member).

My wife and children are heading over to Perth for two weeks and I have 3 weeks leave to look after the other pets as well as "train" Samantha. Looking forward to it on ALL counts.

Regards,

Rob

Edited July 1, 2008 by SamanthaGSD

[kamuzz]

Hi Rob

Seems like you have yourself in an unhappy situation there. In all honesty, it sounds like your family is not ready to accept a dog, especially not a GSD puppy.

How about having a nice calm discussion with them? As you have found out, you can't make your wife be interested.

It may in everyone's best interests if this puppy is rehomed. (runs off to don flame suit)

Where did you buy your puppy from?

[Leema]

This is just puppy stuff. Dogs don't have hands. They investigate everything with their teeth. There's a number of methods that do work.

• Emitting a high pitched yelp when the pup bites. If a pup was playing with another pup, and one hurt the other, the hurt pup would yelp. This is the sound you a mimicking. It is a sound that lets the pup know that you are hurt. Some dogs get more excited by the yelp (so this doesn't work for all dogs).
  
• Say "NO", and press your hand deeper into the pups throat, so the dog gags and spits your hand out. The dog soon learns that putting his mouth around your hand results in discomfort, and will soon stop. This is also a good method as the dog learns that he controls his own behaviour, as he must let go of your hand, not you pulling your hand away.
  
• Ignore your dog when it bites. Leave the room long enough for the pup to forget he was playing with you. He will soon learn that biting means you go away, which he certainly won't want.
  
• 'Sin binning' does work, but is harder. Say "NO" and pick the puppy up, holding him away from your body, then put him in a boring place that he will never use otherwise (e.g. the bathroom) and leave him there for several minutes OR until he is quiet.
  
• Say "NO", withdraw you hand, and give the pup a toy instead. Reward the pup profusely for chewing on the toy.
  
• It may help to use a word for biting. For my dog, I used "Vicious". When I wanted him to stop biting, I taught him to become placid with "be cuddly". It may seem a bit backwards, but the dog will learn to stop biting on command. Many people advocate not allowing any mouthing at all, and it's important you have very clear guidelines if you are going to permit some mouthing.
  

[Luke W]

Couple of thoughts

- get yourself off to puppy school.

- when the pup bites hard - yelp like a puppy and stand up and walk away - the puppy will eventually learn...don't let her draw blood!! arghh!!!

- tell wife and kids to simply keep hands away from puppy - if it bites them or jumps up...stand up, hands crossed in front of chest, still like a tree - the pup WILL stop eventually

- chewing stuff - no you can't monitor it 24 hours a day - that's what the pen is for - keep it in the pen whenever you can't monitor it every second. Manage the household - get everything up off the floor, tether the dog in the middle of the lounge to your leg if you have to...

read Ian Dunbar...

Download Before You get Your Puppy here: http://www.jamesandkenneth.com/new_puppy.html

then buy Before and After from Amazon

Or buy The Perfect Puppy by Gwen Bailey from Amazon...NOW!

Been there (well apart from the blood) done that...

I reiterate, in my experience, jumping and biting was solved by standing up and turning my back on my pup.

[Luke W]

PS - here's an article about bite inhibition:

http://www.dogstardaily.com/training/teach...bite-inhibition

The entire Dog Star daily is well worth a read...get to it...

It will get better with the correct approach - but puppies ARE hard work.

Think how great it will be when she's 18 months old and a perfectly behaved, loved member of the family

[trishalouise]

Rob,

Some good advice here. Just thought I would add that your pup does not need to be fully vaccinated to go to puppy pre-school. The idea is that it is somewhere they can actually go before they are fully vaccinated to get some socialisation and for you to get some education. I would also advise a visit from a trainer to your home while your wife is there too. The trainer will be able to give you specific information to your situation by observing the pup and your families reactions. Where are you located?

Trish

[SamanthaGSD]

This is just puppy stuff. Dogs don't have hands. They investigate everything with their teeth. There's a number of methods that do work.

[*]Emitting a high pitched yelp when the pup bites. If a pup was playing with another pup, and one hurt the other, the hurt pup would yelp. This is the sound you a mimicking. It is a sound that lets the pup know that you are hurt. Some dogs get more excited by the yelp (so this doesn't work for all dogs). I use this method and encouraged wife and kids to do the same.

[*]Say "NO", and press your hand deeper into the pups throat, so the dog gags and spits your hand out. The dog soon learns that putting his mouth around your hand results in discomfort, and will soon stop. This is also a good method as the dog learns that he controls his own behaviour, as he must let go of your hand, not you pulling your hand away. Will try this. Wife and kids avoid her to prevent getting hurt.

[*]Ignore your dog when it bites. Leave the room long enough for the pup to forget he was playing with you. He will soon learn that biting means you go away, which he certainly won't want.

[*]'Sin binning' does work, but is harder. Say "NO" and pick the puppy up, holding him away from your body, then put him in a boring place that he will never use otherwise (e.g. the bathroom) and leave him there for several minutes OR until he is quiet.

[*]Say "NO", withdraw you hand, and give the pup a toy instead. Reward the pup profusely for chewing on the toy. We use this method ALOT, especially when she chews something she shouldn't be!

[*]It may help to use a word for biting. For my dog, I used "Vicious". When I wanted him to stop biting, I taught him to become placid with "be cuddly". It may seem a bit backwards, but the dog will learn to stop biting on command. Many people advocate not allowing any mouthing at all, and it's important you have very clear guidelines if you are going to permit some mouthing.

I know it is just a matter of time and effort till it hopefully settles down. I have explained that she is ONLY a baby and when the kids were babies they were just as "naughty"!

I have just finished reading "Marley and Me" by John Grogan. I laughed and cried all the way through and have started calling sam, my little marley

Thank you again for the replies.

Rob

[SamanthaGSD]

Rob,

Some good advice here. Just thought I would add that your pup does not need to be fully vaccinated to go to puppy pre-school. The idea is that it is somewhere they can actually go before they are fully vaccinated to get some socialisation and for you to get some education. I would also advise a visit from a trainer to your home while your wife is there too. The trainer will be able to give you specific information to your situation by observing the pup and your families reactions. Where are you located?

Trish

G'Day Trish,

Sorry I thought that any interaction with other dogs before she was fully vaccinated was a big no-no and asking for trouble. The LAST thing I want to do is risk Sam picking up something when it could be avoided.

I am located in NSW, south of Sydney in Picton.

As a after thought, one of our best friends in Perth has a beautiful female GSD that was well trained and my wife and children absolutely adored. The same as meeting the sire and dam when visiting our breeder. I dont think they expected puppy "behaviour", although I did warn them.

Regards,

Rob

[Flaves]

Its a catch 22 with early socialisation, damned if you do and damned if you dont.

Daire my gsd went to puppy school form 8 weeks

It was at a vet and all teh other pups were in the same boat

It helped a lot with those sharp teeth biting.

Have you spoken to your breeder? They also may be able to help with some ideas.

Sounds you are on the right track, just need to get the family involved. Puppy school can be great for that, you, Sam and the kids can go if your wife doesnt want to and it will help the kids bond with Sam.

[Becky in Oz]

I echo the puppy preschool, and take the whole family with you.

[trishalouise]

Rob,

Some good advice here. Just thought I would add that your pup does not need to be fully vaccinated to go to puppy pre-school. The idea is that it is somewhere they can actually go before they are fully vaccinated to get some socialisation and for you to get some education. I would also advise a visit from a trainer to your home while your wife is there too. The trainer will be able to give you specific information to your situation by observing the pup and your families reactions. Where are you located?

Trish

G'Day Trish,

Sorry I thought that any interaction with other dogs before she was fully vaccinated was a big no-no and asking for trouble. The LAST thing I want to do is risk Sam picking up something when it could be avoided.

I am located in NSW, south of Sydney in Picton.

As a after thought, one of our best friends in Perth has a beautiful female GSD that was well trained and my wife and children absolutely adored. The same as meeting the sire and dam when visiting our breeder. I dont think they expected puppy "behaviour", although I did warn them.

Regards,

Rob

Hi Rob!

If you chose the right puppy school you will be fine. All puppies have usually only had their first vaccination and they are held inside where the floor can and should be cleaned. I prefer ones that are not at a vet (less exposure to sick dogs) but most are held at vets. I don't know your area so cannot recommend anybody specifically but check out the Delta website. Here you will find a list of positive, reward-based trainers in your area - both puppy school, obedience clubs and private trainers.

Good luck!! I think everyone has the "OMG what have I done?" moments when a new puppy arrives! It just adds an extra stress when the whole family is not together on how things need to be done.

Trish

[black magic]

Hi,

I have been going to puppy training with my lab pup, and found it a great help.

Have a look at the delta society web site, they have some accredited trainers listed on their site. I have been seeing Trevor Crittenden who does puppy classes at Balgownie vet clinic (Wollongong) it's not to far from you. He is great, very helpful and easy to chat to I'm really happy with his methods, and have seen great results in my pup in just two weeks.

I'm sure there would be someone listed up your way on the site.

Good luck!

[persephone]

Sorry, Rob- You are obviously wanting this pup badly....but

EVERYONE needs to be motivated to help a puppy become part of the family!

EVERYONE needs to WANT the puppy around...

So many 'what-ifs'.. if you are away, and the pup gets into mischief, or escapes, or is ill....

I really hope you can convince them she is worth the hassles...I do.

but rehoming is an option you may need to consider. Sorry.

[cavNrott]

Hi Rob

Seems like you have yourself in an unhappy situation there. In all honesty, it sounds like your family is not ready to accept a dog, especially not a GSD puppy.

How about having a nice calm discussion with them? As you have found out, you can't make your wife be interested.

It may in everyone's best interests if this puppy is rehomed. (runs off to don flame suit)

Where did you buy your puppy from?

Hope you have a spare flame suit I can borrow I share your opinion Kamuzz.

A puppy deserves to be loved and wanted by the whole family. Rob's wife clearly doesn't want this pup and she and the children are afraid of the baby puppy as well, keeping in mind this puppy is at the very loveable and cute stage right now.

Rob, I think the best thing for the puppy would be to return it to the breeder...hopefully you bought the pup from a registered breeder who will take Samantha back and find her a new home.

You sound as though you would be an excellent owner for the pup Rob but the odds are against you with the feelings your family has. I think you are buying yourself a heap of trouble if you keep this puppy. I predict if you do keep her it won't be long before you have heated discussions about the amount of time you spend with the puppy. Training, house training, teaching a puppy manners etc., does take a lot of time and should, but obviously won't, in this case, involve the whole family.

I doubt it would make a difference even if you had a smaller breed pup, they bite and chew the same as the larger breeds. They piddle inside the house until they are house trained so I doubt your wife would be happy with any dog.

Sorry to throw in the negative when you want this puppy and are happy to train it but I feel you are up against too much opposition and the welfare of the puppy must be considered as well. When you are at work and away from home this pup would be in the care of folk who don't want her or like her.

[Gayle.]

I agree that it might be in everyone's best interest, including the puppy, to return her to the breeder. While everyone here on DOL loves dogs, other people have the right not to, and not to want a dog in their life and it sounds like it's a HUGE ask for your family to accept this puppy, live with her and be happy about it.

Sometimes we've just got to put our families wishes before our own.

[Ojay]

I think you've forced something on your family that they are clearly not motivated about. My husband isn't interested in my dogs either but he is at least supportive when I cannot be there, as in will feed them and tend to their basic needs. If you are going to keep Sam you need to change your own mindset and make her your dog and not expect your family to want to care for her, it will save you a lot of disappointment. Single people train their dogs around their routine, you should do the same with Sam to cater for your individual routine regardless of what the rest of the household is doing. They'll get used to her in time and probably appreciate her more when she is older and better behaved. The crate training and her pen are good starts at containing boisterous behaviour and minimising the impact on the rest of your family. You have every right to have a dog if you would like one, just as the rest of your family have a right to pursue their own interests, just don't expect them to participate in yours if they are not interested. It's hard and will likely involve a few heated discussions with your wife if you choose to keep Sam, but you should be able to negotiate a happy compromise. Best of luck with her Rob.