jaybeece Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 On the night of the 24th August I lost both of my beloved cats. My house caught fire, they were indoor cats and had no chance. Although if they hadn't been they still would have been inside in the warmth at night. Thankfully neither suffered as they were overcome with smoke inhalation and were found together in the kitchen. I'll never forget standing outside in the street, waiting, waiting, waiting. Not allowed to enter the house, not knowing where they were or if they were alive. Feeling so numb that when the firies said there were 2 dead cats I felt nothing. I couldn't even cry as I held their limp bodies, it was just too big, too inconceivable that my beautiful cats could be dead. My brother and my dad both sobbed though. I wish I could have joined them right then, even though crying for them now is so easy. It kills me to know that in the last few minutes of their life they were scared, but at least there was no pain and they were together until the end. Neither deserved to die young or in fear and I wish I could have been there to at least try to save them. My hosuemates did try, but the house was too full of smoke to find them. I will be forever grateful to them for trying so hard though and for saving my dog. Arianwen, otherwise known as Ari or Moo was nearly 9 years old. I was 20 and never a cat person and my parents were vehemently opposed to cats, we were a dog family and that was it. But there was an offer of kittens going around at work, they'd been found abandoned in a tip and a few people were going to go have a look. I thought why not have a look, kittens are cute. That was a mistake. She was 2 weeks old, pure white with dark blue (later yellow) eyes. I picked her up for a cuddle, she stopped mewling and I knew I couldn't let her go. I called mum, heard dad yelling "NO CATS" in the background but I was already too head over heals love to obey. I didn't go home for 4 days as dad was threatening to take her to a shelter, after that I made sure she came everywhere with me just in case dad followed through with his threat. She had to anyway, she was too young to be weaned and had to be bottle fed warm formula every 2 hours. Work turned into cute kitty play time as my boss took one of her brothers, Tiger, and I took her everywhere with me until she was off formula. After that she kept coming to work with me for 2 years as she loved it so much. She was a crazy, crazy kitten and not the affectionate type. She tolerated my cuddles and learned not to cry and scratch at the door very slowly. She learned sleep time is when I sleep and would cuddle up at night, rolling over with me and never waking. I loved her with all my heart. I bought her hundreds of toys, dad fell in love with her very quickly, as did mum. She napped on top of the deerhound in front of the heater and went on regular back garden explorations. When it came time to move out I took her with me, I couldn't stand the thought of leaving her behind even though mum and dad would gladly have kept her. She'd been sharing the house with another cat, Momo, who had been left by a homestay student and although she didn't like him much I think she enjoyed the company. So I went to the pound and explained what I needed... "I have this female cat, she's bossy, grumpy, sometimes violent and hates most other living creatures. But I think she'll get lonely, any matches here?" They told me to forget about all of the cats I'd been cuddling and handed me a ball of pale orange fluff they explained was the only cat they had who would be a good match. The first thing I thought was "Oh god, not a fru fru cat". But he was so soft, let me cuddle him and seemed to enjoy it so I took him home. Ari hated him, Fru Fru (as he was known that first weekend) was timid but not overly afraid. Slowly they warmed to each other and soon they were cheerfully beating the snot out of each other on a regular basis. He was quickly renamed Basil Fru Fru, or just Baz Baz which suited him perfectly. Only a couple of months after Baz arrived, I had a dog more or less dumped in my lap. Both cats hated him with a passion and seemed united in their rage. But slowly Ari took to Caesar, well, she took to beating him up. Baz always stayed out of his way but would approach him sometimes for a quick sniff and head rub. Ari soon had Caesar sorted out, he was terrified of her and she was once again queen of the house. And so that was life for the next 5 years. They never slept together, but they touched noses at dinner time and were always in the same room. The screaching cat fights became fewer and futher between even though they were never serious. Baz was always timid as I suspect his eyesight wasn't very good and would cringe if he saw hands approaching. But on his terms he was one of the most affectionate cats I've ever met. He'd take head scratches all day and loved being near you, or snugggled up until he got too hot. I'd often shave him for summer which he loved and would become even more snuggly. He was a big cat, but became so scrawny when shaved it was hilarous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaybeece Posted September 6, 2010 Author Share Posted September 6, 2010 (edited) Baz wasn't the brightest of cats, he would screech for food frequently and start 2 hours before breakfast and dinner. It took 2 weeks to teach him to beg in the hope he could show the hunger in other ways but it never worked. It did look very cute though. He was always a bit odd, I never really understood him, but my god did I love the hell out of him. One of my last memories of him was trying to have a nap after work and he kept licking my nose every time I closed my eyes. I'd giggle, pat his head and be rewarded with bitten fingers. Such a strange little guy, but so sweet. I will be forever grateful for Ari's tolerance and sense of humour, Basil's warmth and gentle nature, both of their affections even if it was on their terms, and their lives. I loved them with all my heart and losing them has left a hole that will never close. They were part of who I am and made my life just that little bit warmer. I wish so much that I could have told them one last time how much I love them, that I had taken the time to cuddle Ari that day rather than just pat her at breakfast. Wish I had given Basil a longer head scratch and wish I could have saved them. I would have given up every material thing that survived the fire to save them, they were far more precious than anything else I could ever own. I know Ari was planning to live another 10 years and develop a revoltingly expensive medical condition just to spite me. And I was going to pay it because damnit, she was my shit head and I wanted her to be happy and healthy even if it killed me. Baz was just going to get weirder and more adorable as he aged, I know my love for him was only going to grow stronger. I doubt anyone here believes that pets are just pets, but they weren't just cats. They were MY cats, they were so special and so unique that no other cats will ever replace them. I don't want them to. I want my cats back and I want to give them everything I never gave them in their too short lives, more cuddles, that outdoor enclosure I'd always promised, more toys, god anything. Anything to bring them back. I took hundreds of photos of them over the years, these were the last 2: RIP kitties. I love you Edited September 6, 2010 by jaybeece Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ons Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Jaybeece what a wonderful tribute to your beautiful kitties. How loved they were by you and what wonderful life they led. RIP sweet kitties hugs to you Jaybeece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 RIP Baz & Ari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirty Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 I am so very sorry. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. My heart absolutely breaks for you - I so understand that special love/hate relationship that we have with our special cats. Their quirks just make them even more lovable. Sending you massive hugs hun. RIP Ari and Baz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheree_e4 Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Jaybeece Im so sorry for your loss Run free at the bridge Ari and Baz Here is one of my favourite poems.... I ONLY WANTED YOU They say memories are golden well maybe that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you you never would have died. In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill. If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again. Author unknown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harley Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 RIP Baz and Ari. Beautiful photos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyla Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 I have tears streaming down my face too. I'm sure your kitties knew you loved them, and I'm sure that the lives they had were very happy with you. What you wrote was lovely, I had a smile on my face at the bit where you described Ari hating all other living creatures. She sounds so much like my cat who lives with my brother due to intense hate of dogs and kids, and it is their quirks which make them so unique and lovable. RIP little kitties. Hugs Jaybeece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clover Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 RIP Ari and Baz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyd Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Beautiful tribute to beautiful cats So sorry you had to say goodbye so soon, treasure your wonderful memories RIP Ari & Baz, run free over the bridge till you all meet again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rastus_froggy Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 RIP kitties, I'm sure they knew how much you loved them to the very end. Such a beautiful tribute and gorgeous pics, I especially love the one of Ari leaning down to Caesar's ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VJB Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Beautiful tribute to your well loved kitties. Lovely photo's. DOL is such a good place for 'therapy'... thank you for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 (edited) I shed tears for you and Ari & Baz when you lost them JB, but your beautiful tribute unleashed the waterworks big time I am a dog person also - our family have NEVER had cats, yet our two boys who straggled in as tiny baby ferals, are so similar in so many ways to the wonderful descriptions of your cats - made your tribute even more heartfelt & moving in a personal way. I went and squeezed them tightly after reading this (they were'nt in the moment with quite as much enthusiasm though ) Your pictures were beautiful, every one showed their special personalities and your love of them. Wishing you healing and hugs Jaybeece. fifi, danny, hounds & kitties xxxx Edited September 6, 2010 by fifi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sas Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 RIP kitties, more Angels you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda K Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 tears down the face, such a beautiful tribute to your kitties, time is never long enough. Hugs to you and RIP Ari & Baz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mona Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 A beautiful tribute RIP lovely kitties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schnauzer Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 Such a beautiful tribute and story. RIP beautiful kitties. Forever in your heart. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kody's_Mum Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 What a lovely tribute JB. Sorry you had to say goodbye to your babies, but know that both Ari and Baz knew how much you loved them. RIP kitties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cockerlover Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 OMG u certainly know how to make someone cry !!!Such a moving tribute to your beloved cats . time will help heal the pain ,console yrself ,if u can knowing u gave them both a wonderfull life & they will live in your heart forever ,they have not, nor will they ever leave u . sometimes our pets r so precious that the angels need them more than we do, as hard as this is to except ,know they will always be to special to stay on this earth .play free special friends of JB & watch over your mum . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaybeece Posted September 7, 2010 Author Share Posted September 7, 2010 Thank you all ;) Jaybeece Im so sorry for your loss Run free at the bridge Ari and Baz Here is one of my favourite poems.... I ONLY WANTED YOU They say memories are golden well maybe that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you you never would have died. In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill. If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again. Author unknown This is really beautiful and so true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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