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Bambi


Koemi
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It's taken me almost two weeks to gather the strength to be able to write this and I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish.

On the 3rd of December at 6pm I gave my little rescue girl her real set of angel wings.

Bambi came to us two years ago, from a large shelter. We were never 100% sure of her background but she was in a situation with many other seized dogs and had not been desexed. Many of the other dogs that were seized would have been her babies. She had birthed many litters. She was a very scared and timid girl when we took her home and did not eat for three days. When we paid for her, we signed a little disclaimer saying that she had a slightly luxating patella and that we would be more than happy to follow it up with veterinary attention if needed. I let the staff know that she was going to be an agility dog, and they said that was fine. I should have known better!

She was scared of being in a house, scared of my housemates (male and female), scared of my other dog. She was the first dog I had ever paid for and the first dog that was ever 'mine'. Tucker was a present given to me by my ex and is still shared between the two of us. Bambi was different from the very beginning.

Immediately she started to follow me around and would ignore everyone except me. We thought she was deaf for the first week, lol. She would freeze when a hand went near her, when someone dropped something, when someone stepped too loudly in the house, when the doorbell went off.

After the first couple of days, all her hair fell out. She started losing weight very quickly. She began to eat but would immediately vomit the food back up (and would then run away while T ate the vom unless I was there to supervise). I was terrified that she was dying. My boss and some friends told me to take her back to the shelter but I couldn't do it. The first of many vet visits and tests, I was told that she was a heck of a lot older than the 4 years that was put on her adoption sheet. Since then, she has been aged anywhere from 8-12 years old. We changed her diet (the shelter had been feeding her Science Diet) immediately and I was informed that she had some advanced arthritis possibly in her spine. Tests revealed this to be true.

After two months (MONTHS!) of trialling her on different foods she finally began to eat properly. Her hair started to grow back. She was never able to eat raw, or anything particularly hard, a bunch of her teeth were pulled, she started seeing a doggy chiro and her eyes started weeping so much that I had to give her drops every day. Her mystery reflux returned and disappeared many, many times without warning.

Then the incontinence started. We had her successfully toilet trained for a few months thanks to Erny coming to our house, and then one day she lost it completely. She also began limping more so I put her on glucosamine and a bunch of other supplements. It was pot luck as sometimes she wouldn't throw it back up, and other times she would.

She started becoming more confident in herself as time went on, but was always horrid to walk. She would stop and start at every tiny movement or noise, but she LOVED going outside to sniff. She would also refuse to walk after a certain distance and sit down, but being all of 4kg she was quite easy to carry!

After about a year I sat down with her 'dad' and said that her mounting issues were becoming very difficult to deal with, both emotionally and monetarily. We agreed that if one more thing went wrong that we would have to have a hard decision on our hands.

A month after that, she started reverting. Her hair started to lose its lustre, her confidence started going backwards, her weeing was getting worse. Her vet at the time (she had so many vets) took a bunch of blood tests but couldn't find anything. I emailed Cosmolo on the advice of Ravyk, and she suggested maybe she had dementia. Back to another vet who did more tests and said it was the most likely scenario.

Needless to say, we decided if one more thing went wrong after this bunch of things it would be time. :)

Things cruised along for a few months, she seemed to be stable. Until one day she got into a fight with my housemate's (I'd moved places) dog. Bam weighed about 3.something kg at this point and the other dog weighed uhm 30?! so it was over very quickly. Betty was a very gentle dog and only gave her a warning nip, but unfortunately being so much bigger than Bambi she was bleeding like crazy from her neck and had to be rushed to the vet. Very odd behaviour for Bam to be picking a fight with another dog. Then the bomb hit.

Vet (ANOTHER one) told us she had a heart murmur. :thumbsup:

She was put on antibiotics and taken back home. We were advised not to walk her anymore (which was becoming harder and harder due to her arthritis which was getting worse despite the meds she was on), and to bring her in regularly. None of the other vets had picked up on the murmur, so it was theorised that it was a recent thing.

Once again, we said if one more thing went wrong it would be it.

She was never the same after that. She started biting me. She stopped responding to her name. She forgot things, would get lost in the house and cry, wee herself CONSTANTLY (I had her on meds for a while but they made her sick, so we made do with a nappy and constant bathing of her privates) and started to attack Tucker. Looking back on it now, I think I waited too long, but I was at a loss. She was my angel. She deserved SO much better than what she had.

When the bites began to draw blood and there was no reason for her to attack dog or human, her heart was getting worse, she was having real trouble walking and would wee constantly... it was time.

She fell asleep for the last time in my arms, watched over by her daddy and the kindest most understanding vet I have ever met. He let us stay in the consult room with her for half an hour while we cried and cried.

She tried so hard and in the end I couldn't save her. :D

I miss you so much Bambi. Tucky and I will never ever forget you and we love you so very much.

I never wanted a small fluffy, and ended up with the only one in the world that would ever steal my heart.

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Luke W took a series of pics for me just before she went downhill for the last time. This one is framed and will be sitting with her ashes when I get them back.

A part of me died with her. :(

I love you, my girl. xxxx

Thank you to everyone from DOL who have been an absolute god send to me, and to the beautiful caring women from Rescued With Love who were a huge support. Even tho Bambi was not a RWL dog, they were always there to give me advice, and a hug when it was needed. xoxo

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what a beautiful girl resting peacefully now, not in pain, away from her demons, running free at Rainbow Bridge

and she passed on knowing she was loved, any dog could not ask for any more than you did for her Koemi

Hugs to you Koemi

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R.I.P. Bambi XXX :thumbsup:

What a lovely person you are letting her into your heart and home and giving her the best life imagineable.

She sounded like a gorgeous little girl. She would of crossed that bridge feeling so very loved, all thanks to you.

Take care & hugs to you at this very sad time. :D

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:p Koemi i am so sorry for your loss. Bambi sounded like one special little dog, you gave her the best and she would be forever grateful for that. :laugh: Coming your way.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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