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Pollywaffle

Polly’s passing

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It’s been two days since Polly went - euthanised and the pain is exquisite. We were a family of four - our boy let us last year and Thursday morning Polly went. The house feels like an empty place - I keep expecting to see her - no barks when other dogs pass the gate - no cutesy face when I’m near the treat cupboard - no derrière in my sight for a quick scratch. I miss her so incredibly- they say that dogs aren’t your children - but she was and always will be my beautiful girl - mummy’s girl.

sorry for this intrusion I just had to write my feelings somewhere where people will understand...

thankyou

Rebecca

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Kazm   

So sorry to hear of your Polly’s passing. It is such a difficult time. And no matter what anyone says they are like our kids. They love us so unconditionally so why wouldn’t we treat them like a family member. They say time eventually helps but our girl went 2 and a half years ago and we still miss her every day and it’s not unusual for me to have a tear or two just thinking about how much she is missing out on. She went to young in my opinion. (9 years old). 

What really helped me was making a photo book of all her good, funny times. It still is on show for us to look at any time. 

Remember her happy days and take each day as it comes. Look after yourself too.

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stellnme   

My sympathy to you on the passing of your sweet girl.  I guess we all know that empty feeling when they are no longer with us.  I hope, in time, your happy memories of Polly will make you remember her with a smile.

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I am so sorry ..
You knew it was coming , which makes it worse . :( 
And yes, the house will feel hollow and so very empty now .

Fill the spaces with memories and other noises , be kind to yourself , and know that she is now free of that sick feeling forever.  :hug:  :rainbowbridge: 

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Deepest sympathies, Pollywaffle.  Talking about love and loss is never an intrusion: on the contrary, you are giving us the gift of knowing how your Polly was so loved and such an integral part of your family’s life.  

 

:hug: :hug:  :rainbowbridge:  

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tikira   

My sincerest condolences to you. We here on DOL know the deepness of your grief... they are not just dogs to us, they ARE family.

 

What helped me most in the early days of my Jack Russell, Tip's passing was writing it all down. I started a memories book, with photos and every single story that Tip was a part of. It bought more tears, but some smiles too and best of all it recorded the memories that I did not want to forget. Fast forward 5 years and indeed, many of the things I wrote down I have now forgotten altogether, so the memories book is my link to my boy and now I smile every time i read the entries.

 

Keep talking about her with us, it does help.

Regards Di

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Boronia   

I am so sorry Rebecca.

I found that writing here does help and the words do come easily even though there are frequent stops to wipe away tears.

As you know we all understand what you are feeling.

B xxx:flower:

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I just wanted to do a follow-up.  My darling Polly has been gone several weeks now and in the eyes of the world, my 'grieving' should be about finished.  And yes, on some outer level I am back to being business as usual.  In day to day activities I am as light and fluffy as a middle-aged woman can be!  But when no one's around - when I get home at night and my husband is at work..well, I see the urns on the table..one for Pol and one for her dear brother, Bazil...and my heart breaks as much as it did on the first day.  It's almost like I'm enjoying this private moment of grief - for my daughter!  I would feel disrespectful if I didn't still grieve...I loved her for 12 years and she reciprocated - how can you just turn that off!  It's the re-occurring though that I shall never hold her again.  Now I knew this would happen..I'm sitting here with a submission to write and in an open planned office and the tears are starting to role...I'll have to go and shut the private me off and get back to being 'light and fluffy again'.

Thanks so much DoLers for 'listening'...and more importantly...understanding.

 

Polly's Waffle....  

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tikira   

Hi Pollywaffle

There is never a 'set' grieving time, although a lot of people seem to think there should be. I lost count of the people that told me (in words or actions) that I should 'snap out of it' or 'its just a dog'.

 

They don't understand and I just think how sad it is that they never shared a bond so strong that the grief bubbles up all the time...I pity them!

 

I lost my Jack Russell in 2013 from snakebite. I still wake up  in tears, and I still sometimes get sad, I will never fully get over his loss. It took me six months to feel like I was returning  to a (new type of ) 'normal' 

 

Take your time, grieve as much as you need to, but remember that how long, hard or publically we grieve is not a reflection of how much we loved. Keep honouring Polly and Bazil and keep coming  here to those people who will never tell you to get on with life!

 

You are doing an excellent job  being able to function at work as wel as you are!

Di

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Kazm   

Take your time. You can’t get over “12” years in the blink of an eye. It’s two and a half  year since Zena left us and I still say goodnight to her every night and I can definitely still be teary about her not being here. Its a specialness between us and our furry friends and I decided to just ignore those who thought we should be over it by now. I think of my girl daily and we always talk about her. Personally I don’t think we’ll ever be “over it”. Maybe we’ll just get used to her not being here but we do and always will miss her.

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thanks Kazm and Tikira for showing me that what I'm feeling is 'normal'.  I don't want to forget her - she was too important to me..I guess i'll be like you both...in years to come still with my Polly in my thoughts...won't stop me from loving other dogs..but she was/is special.

R

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41 minutes ago, Pollywaffle said:

I don't want to forget her - she was too important to me

Several weeks is no time at all for such a wound to heal - let yourself take time, as it's what you have now  - that, along with love and memories, to help fill the hole . :kissbetter: 

You will never forget her ... gosh, I remember (with varying sketchiness) all my dogs from 60 years ago, til recent ... with mind-movies & tears  :) ... most  very happy  memories,... and  I am always thankful for the remembering    :love: 

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Boronia   

I often remember my Penny and Daisy and Saffy who passed some years back, it still tears my heart, sometime with awful sadness and some time with fun...like remembering Penny stealing an egg out of the carton in the shopping bag and trundling off with it to eat later or killing a rat with her one canine.

Keep the sad and good memories Pollywaffle and stuff those morons that think there is a time limit

:flower:

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