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Some People Never Learn!


Aleksandra 157
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I forgot Feather and left her in the car for about 4 hours once. Luckily for both of us it was in cold weather. It was only when I started thinking I hadn't seen her for a while, I went running around the house calling her looking under all the blankets and her usual sleeping spots that I remembered and rushed out to the car to find her sound asleep and perfectly content.

That's a horrible thing to have happened Kirty. It would haunt me too. :(

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I take my dogs that to work every day and often have a basket or two of possums. I always do one trip from the car. On this day, I left the possums in the car while I unlocked the door and then the new girl turned up. I got distracted showing her how to open the clinic. Because I am so set in my routine, I didn't even realise what I had done until I went to get the baskets to go home. I feel sick every time I get the animals out of the car, and often at work I have panic attacks that I have forgotten someone. I still can't believe it happened.

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People make mistakes- many, many people make mistakes that don't end in tragedy but unfortunately there are times when it does.

I had a situation a few years ago where i forgot my dog in the car- my horse was having emergency surgery, i was extremely tired and stressed and she is the quietest dog in the world- doesn't move a muscle when you pull up somewhere. I walked inside without her and fortunately my husband asked where she was and i was able to go straight back out to get her.

I'm not excusing deliberate acts of cruelty at all- but there are situations where one mistake is costly and devastating and who can say they have never made a mistake of any kind. Most of us are just lucky that our mistakes haven't been so costly :(

I'm really sorry Kirty

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I'm glad you posted your story, Kirty (and I'm so, so sorry it happened), as many people don't know this is a phenomenon that can happen to any of us and does happen to parents with their babies even. It's just the way the human mind works unfortunately.

I think this is a brilliant article on the subject and gave me a very different perspective on events like this. (I agree that this sounds like an accident).

Fatal Distraction

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It's a scorching 43 in Adelaide today and even having my dogs outside for a quick wee and they are panting :/ I don't take my dogs out in the car on a hot day , even with air-con.

Same here. I don't even take myself out in the car on a hot day unless I really have to.

Cannot believe that some people are so stupid & idiotic they also leave babies & children in hot cars too. Unless its an emergency situation why take the dog.

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A dog/animal I can kinda understand forgetting but a child? I'm not a parent but seriously ... How can a person forget they have a child? I just don't/can't understand that one.

I'm sorry to hear of your experience Kirty :(

I guess I count my dogs and I lucky in that I live and breathe for them so they're always first and foremost in my mind. If they're in the car it's because we're doing something together so it makes them hard to forget (think training etc). I very rarely just pop them in the car to 'go for a drive' for the very reasons: a) I don't do that and b) I might not end up somewhere dog friendly so I don't take that risk.

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I remember reading up on it when a news story piqued my interest. I think we've probably all had a moment when we've gone on autopilot, I've ended up at my work car parking spot countless times when I was supposed to be going somewhere near there.

I remember reading a suggestion that you put your handbag/purse/phone in the backseat as well, so that you have to look in the back before leaving the car.

My heart goes out to you *kirty*, thank you for sharing your story.

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A dog/animal I can kinda understand forgetting but a child? I'm not a parent but seriously ... How can a person forget they have a child? I just don't/can't understand that one.

I'm sorry to hear of your experience Kirty :(

I guess I count my dogs and I lucky in that I live and breathe for them so they're always first and foremost in my mind. If they're in the car it's because we're doing something together so it makes them hard to forget (think training etc). I very rarely just pop them in the car to 'go for a drive' for the very reasons: a) I don't do that and b) I might not end up somewhere dog friendly so I don't take that risk.

I am sure you didn't mean it to come across the way it did, but what an insensitive and hurtful comment. Accidents are just that - accidents. It happens, it is horrific and it is NOT a reflection on someone's love and commitment to their child/animal.

Edited by superminty
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Yes if you change your routine it is easy to forget who is in the car. I know people who are excellent parents who have left kids behind in shops etched. It is easy to forget a baby if you're functioning on 1-2 hours of sleep per night for months on end.

People don't forget they have a child or dog - they forget that they're in the car for a few seconds, get into their routine and don't realise what has happened until they go to check on them.

I don't know kitty IRL but it is clear she loves her animals and they are "first and foremost in her mind".

I take fergus to lots of places that are not special dog outings - to my sisters, to my cousins, to the farmers market etc. he loves getting out and about and it is good exercise and socialisation. He is so good in the car ( lies down in his harness and goes to sleep) that he would be easy to forget. Lucky for him he always greets me at the door so if he wasn't there I would remember he's I the car.

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For any of the posters that think it would not happen to them- PLEASE read the article posted. It is long but a worthwhile read and will give you some insight.

It's not about how much you love or care for something. This could happen to anyone.

Thanks for the article Melz- the end of it i thought was very beautiful, the rest quite devastating.

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Exactly Megan. Unless something triggers the memory, forgetting them is not beyond the realms of possibility. Cosmo never greets me at the door hence why i was lucky my OH reminded me so quickly in my situation.

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No of course I didn't mean the comment to be hurtful -- I'm not an ar53hole -- I did express my sorrow at Kirty's situation. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and yes I do know her love and devotion for animals and wouldn't question it.

I will not, however, apologise for my own beliefs that forgetting one's child should be accepted as "just a memory flaw". Maybe we as a race now have TOO MUCH on our minds and rather than saying "sorry I'm busy" we constantly change our plans/routines/schedules to fit more in and animals/children can suffer because of this.

Maybe I just don't have enough to do during my day but I'm sorry, I just don't see how this can happen. As for the article, likening a child to a set of keys or mobile phone ... I think humans and animals are just a little but different. Maybe I just don't let enough things distract me but if my child was in the car to be taken to pre-school or whatever, then that's first and foremost in my mind.

Maybe this will change if I ever decide to have children of my own and maybe I'm just too single-focused.

Again, no offence intended I'm just expressing my opinion.

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I almost walked away and left my child in the car. If he had not waved at me as I walked past the window I dread to think what may have happened. I am NOT a bad or neglectful mother, nor am I a heartless monster who deserves to not have her children or animals in her care.

If you actually think back to a time where you have had one of those genuine brain farts, then you will understand. Sure - you may have boiled something over on the stove, or forgotten to buy the very thing you went into the shop for, or put something down somewhere and literally had no idea where you left it. These things happen to all of us. Unfortunately sometimes those brain farts end in tragedy. We are only human - we are fallible.

For me it was a sequence of unusual events that ended thus. I was going into uni on a day I didn't normally attend to work on an experiment. I left early so I had time to drop my son at daycare on the way. I had had little sleep (toddler, honours project rounding up, exams pending). I was stressed about getting my experiment to work. My son was quiet in the car (he is a talker!!). I started mentally listing the things I needed to accomplish during the day as I drove. My head was in the lab already, so I drove there and got a great park. I grabbed my bag, jumped out of the car and headed off. I thank god every day that my cheeky little monkey smiled and waved at me as I walked past the car.

I am fallible. Crucify me if you will.

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Actually I was thinking whilst in the shower -- I do some of my best work in there -- and I think I'll never understand this because I'm not a parent. I was thinking about how my mum had to be in 3 places at once with us kids and I thought "y'know it'd probably be quite easy to forget to drop one kid off when thinking about having to pick up kids 2, 3, 4 and 5". I think I realise that I've never actually had to do anything other than go to Point A, B or C so therefore a slight deviation in that routine isn't going to affect me and therefore think it'd be completely impossible to forget someone or something.

Kirty I really do sincerely apologise for my comment earlier and also to anyone else who may have taken offence. I think I understand where you're coming from now after some quiet shower reflection.

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RSR, I just wanted to say that I for one didn't take any offence to your original at all. You smypathized with kirty as do I. Everyone makes mistakes...we are all human. Sometimes I wish I wasn't, on those rare occasions when parents/ animal owners just don't give a crap about their "so called" loved ones. That whole "she'll be right" attitude. The dog will be OK. etc. That's what will reduce me to tears EVERY time.

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I almost walked away and left my child in the car. If he had not waved at me as I walked past the window I dread to think what may have happened. I am NOT a bad or neglectful mother, nor am I a heartless monster who deserves to not have her children or animals in her care.

If you actually think back to a time where you have had one of those genuine brain farts, then you will understand. Sure - you may have boiled something over on the stove, or forgotten to buy the very thing you went into the shop for, or put something down somewhere and literally had no idea where you left it. These things happen to all of us. Unfortunately sometimes those brain farts end in tragedy. We are only human - we are fallible.

For me it was a sequence of unusual events that ended thus. I was going into uni on a day I didn't normally attend to work on an experiment. I left early so I had time to drop my son at daycare on the way. I had had little sleep (toddler, honours project rounding up, exams pending). I was stressed about getting my experiment to work. My son was quiet in the car (he is a talker!!). I started mentally listing the things I needed to accomplish during the day as I drove. My head was in the lab already, so I drove there and got a great park. I grabbed my bag, jumped out of the car and headed off. I thank god every day that my cheeky little monkey smiled and waved at me as I walked past the car.

I am fallible. Crucify me if you will.

Great post, No one is perfect.
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