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That Difficult Time Of Life


Kirislin
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So beautifully said, VizslaMomma :thumbsup:

Why do we let ourselves love them so much. It's never easy but I too believe that for people who treasure their dogs you do know when it's time. You never want to but you just do. Be kind to yourself and let her tell you when it's enough.

I lost the love of my life little dog when she was just three and a half (bad heart). I was totally and absolutely devastated, but truly thankful that I had experienced the love I had for her. She died on 15 January 1997 and I still think of her just about every day. My biggest regret is that I didn't have a digital camera in those days. She was a total knockout and I was always getting stopped in the street if I had her with me. Sadly I have only a couple of photographs that show how gorgeous she was -teeny teeny Maltese.

Kirislin is blessed with an amazing photographic talent that will see her through her tough times, by being able to look back and relive the beauty of her dogs.

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When the bad outweighs the good and there is no hope for improvement, I let mine go. My only regret with one was not giving her wings a week earlier. I would much rather act too early than too late and see them suffer when I could save them from that.

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I am going thro' the exact same thing with my belovoed Tibor. Word for word what you wrote is what is happening with him.

May I ask you this?

Do you think that your darling Penny Whippet has real pain? Not the pain of stiff bones but pain because that is the part of her journey at this moment.

If not, then try to go on. Your bond with ALL your dogs is so obvious.

When Penny needs to go, you will both know.

In the mean time, love on with Penny.

I am making every minute special with Tibor.

Silly old boy tried to mount the little bitch the other day..... one for old time's sake. He would have keeled over if he could have.

I alternatively laughed & cried.

There is no wand,Kirislin. There is something even more special: LOVE.

That will be your answer

HUGS xxxx

I'm not certain about the bolded bit. I'm sure she is stiff and achy, just as I am, but I'm certainly not ready to throw in the towel myself. I dont know how much pain she is in. I was so close to ringing the vet this morning but I just couldn't bring myself to make the call.

I've been outside scouting for gravesites in the backyard and started on a patch with a pick. I wont be able to finish it myself and will have to call on friends to help me. I'm trying to convince myself that her time has come. If not quite now I know it will be very soon.

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We are going through a similar thing with Renae, altho not quite at that point you are at yet Kirslin ..

Our Renae is almost 12 and has had some health issues over the last year and half. Most of them are just old age related. Without putting her through a lot more tests, we really can't tell how bad things are with her. Her general blood work is ok.

She is starting to go a bit senile now, and theres times she shakes a lot and has these little head nodding fits and looks like shes going fall down (she doesn't), but shes not incontinent yet and still walks around ok. There's times i think shes getting stiff, then other days she springs up onto the couch /our bed like shes a puppy!

So we are just taking it day by day and just making sure she's fairly comfortable and not in any real distress.

When she starts getting more immobile or can't go to the toilet properly by herself, then we will reassess the situation.

I always hope if she does go it be peacefully in her sleep, as she sleeps a lot now.

So i kind of know the feeling about as our dogs are getting older and not quite themselves anymore

I think you will know when the time comes what to do. It usually shows in their eyes *hugs* x

Edited by Jules❤3Cavs
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Always such a tough decision - best made with a very trusted vet.

I have a list I go through -

Can the dog defecate and urinate without any pain/discomfort?

Can the dog get up and down comfortably?

Can the dog walk to his dinner/water bowl?

Is there still quality of life left - are they still interested enough to sniff, communicate with their pack, and show interest in the outside world?

I think you know in your heart when the time is right, but it is a gut wrenching call.

Thinking of you xx

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She sounds like our chi x, at 17 she started walking into rooms and just staring at the wall, obviously a bit senile, she was also very wobbly and pretty blind and deaf.

Its so hard because they still have good days, we made the decision when her tail stopped wagging. I don't envy you K, its so hard, but I am sure you will know when its time.

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She sounds like our chi x, at 17 she started walking into rooms and just staring at the wall, obviously a bit senile, she was also very wobbly and pretty blind and deaf.

Its so hard because they still have good days, we made the decision when her tail stopped wagging. I don't envy you K, its so hard, but I am sure you will know when its time.

Yes all of the above happened with my old boy at 16. He used to sit in the hallway and just stare out of the door with his misty eyes, the incontinence seemed to be stressing him as well and on his last night he was barking at the wall. I knew that Sunday morning when I took him to the vet he wasn't coming home :cry:

My heart breaks for you Kirislin, as others have said when there is no quality of life anymore it's time to rest the weary bones :( Sending you strength and hugs :hug:

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The decision I made was based on the safety of my old girl when no-one could be home with her. She was still quite active, eating well and very involved with her pack but became an accident waiting to happen and with her dementia and reduced mobility I could not bear to think of her getting stuck somewhere and being stuck like that for hours, waiting till someone found her. She was almost 17 and was having monthly vet check ups given she wasn't the type of dog to show she was suffering.

So my only advice is to be honest about the reality of your situation. If you or someone else is generally home with your girl at all times so she can be assisted or rushed to the vet should something happen then continue until you know she is no longer enjoying her day or the risk for her wellbeing becomes too great.

It is such a freaking hard decision to make. I had to do it almost three years ago and still internally debate whether I made the decision slightly too soon.

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Always such a tough decision - best made with a very trusted vet.

I have a list I go through -

Can the dog defecate and urinate without any pain/discomfort?

Can the dog get up and down comfortably?

Can the dog walk to his dinner/water bowl?

Is there still quality of life left - are they still interested enough to sniff, communicate with their pack, and show interest in the outside world?

I think you know in your heart when the time is right, but it is a gut wrenching call.

Thinking of you xx

Good list thank you, and one I shall be referring to in the months ahead. frown.gif

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thank you all, I feel it's staring me in the face and I just dont want to make that final decision.

The saddest thing to me is when people won't let them go & they should. They keep the dog alive for themselves because they can't let them go when in reality the poor dog would probably say yes please it would be a relief if it could talk.

The dog will not hurt at the end. You will.

If it is staring you in the face & the dog has little quality of life be kind & say goodbye. Then try & remember the happy life you had together not the rotten, guilt ridden end.

It is what I would want if it was allowed & I was in a bad way.

Its probably one of the most horrible decision we ever have to make :hug:

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I'm so sorry to read this Kirislin. :( As you know, I went through this recently with my beautiful cat. For me, I could see he was starting to suffer and I knew it would only get worse. It was still the hardest decision to make. :(

The only thing I'll add, is to ask your vet about Vivitonin. It is a drug that can help greatly with canine dementia. If her behaviour is due to dementia, it might be worth a shot.

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I'm not certain about the bolded bit. I'm sure she is stiff and achy, just as I am, but I'm certainly not ready to throw in the towel myself. I dont know how much pain she is in. I was so close to ringing the vet this morning but I just couldn't bring myself to make the call.

I've been outside scouting for gravesites in the backyard and started on a patch with a pick. I wont be able to finish it myself and will have to call on friends to help me. I'm trying to convince myself that her time has come. If not quite now I know it will be very soon.

I understand.

My day went down hill with my darling boy.

He struggles more today.

I just do not know what my heart will take.

Love does not quite seem enough.

Edited by VizslaMomma
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Oh hun this is a real tough time for you , as for many before you and for many dog owners to face in the future :(

I always ask is it quality of life or quanity that is important .

sending you and Penny :hug:

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thankyou all. I hate seeing these threads and often avoid them like the plague because they depress me. Penny's still with me. I'll go to the vet tomorrow and ask again about medication that might help her but I wont keep her going just for me, she has to want to continue or I'll let her go.

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Just 'cause it's cute, here she is puckering up for a 12th birthday kiss from a little girl at the park.

5734445491_2a67763880_z.jpg

She still looked amazing at 12 but it wasn't long after that I could see she was aging fast. She's had a good life though.

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Such a pretty girl. :heart:

4384985797_00efe7a460.jpg

Edited by Kirislin
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Penny is a total knockout, K. You will have wonderful memories and such stunning photographs to look at. I hope St Francis makes it easier for you and you will recognise that the time has come.

In the meantime, we all here know that Penny lives with the most wonderful mum and she could not be more loved and cherished that she is.

:heart::heart:

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I have not read the entire thread, but just wanted to send my sympathies to you. We had to make the same decision last year with our old GSD. Was so difficult to know exactly "when". The worst thing was, we would decide, then he would rally and be great for another week, so we'd cancel the appointment, then he'd go downhill again, so we'd re-book.

But our wonderful vet told me "It is better a day too early than a day too late" and I bore that in mind when we took him up, even though he had been quite good the previous day. Remember, dogs have no concept of future, it is us who suffer that (i.e., knowing she will be gone).

With my first childhood dog, my mum has never lost the guilt she feels about being "a day too late" in giving her her wings - i.e., she feels the dog struggled too long before the final decision was made to let her go and that we kept her alive for us, instead of for her, we just couldn't bear to let her go, but we were being selfish.

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Penny is amazingly beautiful. :love:

thankyou. And just to make everything a whole lot harder, this afternoon I was laying on the bed playing with Neko and Penny got all silly and came at me all worn down teeth and her now breathy bark, the way she used to when I'd pretend I was a zombie. She hasn't done it for a very long time. Maybe she's saying not just yet Mum.

right now she's having an omelette mixed up with her chicken mince and she likes it.

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