Double Lab Love Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 OK - so I am not starting this topic to debate the pro's and con's of various use of collars ( esp pinch)as it has been debated here numerous times before and i think everyone has their own views / opinions which is how it should be... I am posting to have a bit of a rant about the hide of poeple and how upset a comment from this incredibly rude and aggressive woman made me yesterday. I guess I am just venting on what right did she have to abuse me as she did and what would you have done in my situation.. Quick background - I have two 2 yr old labs - yes I use pinch collars but only in high distraction situations - and ONLY after two consultations with Steve from K9Pro - where OH and myself were taught how to use them correctly and Steve fitted them for us.I have also been using flat collars now when I walk them together after using Steve's training tips etc and we have had massive improvements but it has takne time and we are not quite there yet... I am at an off leash dog park in the inner city yesterday (Tango met his brother for the first time :D ) so the only reason we where there... My two were very well behaved / playing nicely with the other dogs and having a blast... I go to put their collars back on and this woman yells at me - in front of a rather large group of people inc children "That's a prong collar - they are illegal - they are cruel and you are inhumane to use them - i am going to report you to the RSPCA " OH comes over as I am standing there gobsmacked and she says " oh that would be right - typical military A#$hole - no wonder those dogs have those things on.. I am going to call the police and on she goes rant rant rant about what cruel owners we are... I grab my two and tell her that the collars are not illegal in NSW and that they were recommended by a behaviouralist and for her to mind her own business - she then spits venom at us and threatens to call the police again - OH - who is finance incidently ;) - tells her calmly "go ahead you do that" and we walk off to the other end of the park with our friends who were as upset as we were... Me - so upset about the implication that I am a cruel owner and furious that this woman (there without a dog) feels it is her right to lecture me on how to bring up and train my dogs... I am still shaking with anger at it today bc anyone who knows OH and I knows how much we love our dogs and how much time we spend with them and how opposed we are to any sort of animal cruelty... Grrrrrrrr - sorry about the long post just venting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumof4girls Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I would have given her a bit back also.. What happens to people just asking a simple question? why do people think it is their right to yell abuse and talk like a guttertripe... It's hard but try not to let them ruin your week, they really are not worth it.. :-) Edit grammar. Edited January 9, 2012 by mumof4girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brennan's Mum Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I'd be upset too . I think we all face people who judge us/ our dogs at times, and it is frustrating/ hurtful and knocks us a bit when they are as vocal as this woman was. The key ( imo) to remember is that this woman has no idea you are seeing a behaviourist, and of your dogs history, your goals for their future, or how far they have come with their training. If she wants to rant let her. If she wants to judge you because of a collar- that's her choice. I find the best course of action to deal with these people is to walk away. Especially if I have my dog with me- it's no use to let myself get worked up when I have to be thinking clearly in order to continue to train my dog. Edited January 9, 2012 by Brennan's Mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I try & treat folks like that same as I do a kid having a tantrum .. swallow, blink a few times..turn around and walk well away .If they have no audience they usually quiet down - and they are the ones embarrassed to be out of control in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kajirin Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Sorry you had to go through that Guess some people just like to go on bender power trips and rave on thinking they know it all Not being one for confrontations, if I'd been on the receiving end of that vitriol, I would've clammed up and seethed on the inside. Uhg to uneducated people. You're doing the right thing, sought advice and have implemented a training routine to make your dogs good ambassadors of their breed...if she'd been on the receiving end of boisterous, jumpy dogs...she would've complained about that too more than likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megan_ Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 In these situations (basically, any agro bogan/know-it-all) it is best to walk away without saying anything. By arking up you can put your dog in danger (you never know the mental soundness of these people). Dogs pick up on our emotions too and we don't need them to start stressing out and becoming reactive. It is very hard to ignore the morons but I now try to block them out and not over-think the situation - I don't want to let other people ruin my day any more. This morning I got screamed at by someone because I crossed the street as she jogged towards me with her off leash dog. My dog is reactive and was on leash (but of course, I'd be blamed for having an aggressive dog) so I took evasive action. Her reply? Not a thank you, but a "You're sh*tting yourself!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inevitablue Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I recommend calmly telling her they aren't illegal (are they?) then spend 2 min explaining its a refined tool for communicating with your dog, no different to a horse rider wearing spurs. Would she rather you damage your dogs neck yanking away on a check chain, same way some people thump their poor horses sides? Ask her if your dog looked happy and content. If she is still ranting, then walk away. You tried to do your bit at educating the general public... I do think using the collar at a highly populated off leash dog area is inviting uneducated people to have a go. I'd get a cover for it if you don't want uneducated reactions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenGirl85 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I recommend calmly telling her they aren't illegal (are they?) then spend 2 min explaining its a refined tool for communicating with your dog, no different to a horse rider wearing spurs. Would she rather you damage your dogs neck yanking away on a check chain, same way some people thump their poor horses sides? Ask her if your dog looked happy and content. If she is still ranting, then walk away. You tried to do your bit at educating the general public... I do think using the collar at a highly populated off leash dog area is inviting uneducated people to have a go. I'd get a cover for it if you don't want uneducated reactions. This I don't use my prong in an environment that might open up the argument, because most of the population believe the other side of the argument Even recently my mum was visiting me and saw the collar I use for Lexi, and she said "is that one of those prong collars? Ive been reading up on those" my reply? very hesitantly "ummmmm yes....which side of the argument have you been reading?" Thankfully she has been reading up on K9 Pro, and after seeing me use it on my very gentle, non reactive GR, she is pro prong collars!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Lab Love Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Thanks guys for your replies... I feel a bit better now - it really helps to hear others people's thoughts on the matter... I know I am doing what I do for the right reasons but it just upset me to be unfairly judged by this woman - who by the sounds of it was on a bit of a mission... To accuse me of cruelty to my beloved babies I HATE confrontations and usually just clam up and even though I did calmly try and explain - she really didn't want to hear it - just got louder and more agressive - so I just walked away - but it has just been eating away at me Inevitablue - they are legal in NSW - but i agree i didn't really think when I put them on of the reaction that I would get from others (high distraction area and I wanted them as calm as possible) so in future I think I will work harder on their walking in high distracion areas so as to reduce the usage... But honestly - who died and made that woman the crusader against pinch collars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inevitablue Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No excuses for her aggressiveness either, but just remember that some people are very passionate about what they believe/know. Education is the key, and her ideas don't automatically class her as a bogan (perhaps her behaviour does though!) I'm sure the Japanese think there is nothing wrong with harpooning whales, yet for those educated on sustainability and humane slaughter think the complete opposite. When your in the minority educating others is always a steeper hill to climb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caesars mum Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I would have told her to shut her uneducated, close minded mouth and then just walked away. there is no point trying to educate people like this as they wont listen. I say good on you for doing what is best for your dogs and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Lab Love Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 I recommend calmly telling her they aren't illegal (are they?) then spend 2 min explaining its a refined tool for communicating with your dog, no different to a horse rider wearing spurs. Would she rather you damage your dogs neck yanking away on a check chain, same way some people thump their poor horses sides? Ask her if your dog looked happy and content. If she is still ranting, then walk away. You tried to do your bit at educating the general public... I do think using the collar at a highly populated off leash dog area is inviting uneducated people to have a go. I'd get a cover for it if you don't want uneducated reactions. This I don't use my prong in an environment that might open up the argument, because most of the population believe the other side of the argument Even recently my mum was visiting me and saw the collar I use for Lexi, and she said "is that one of those prong collars? Ive been reading up on those" my reply? very hesitantly "ummmmm yes....which side of the argument have you been reading?" Thankfully she has been reading up on K9 Pro, and after seeing me use it on my very gentle, non reactive GR, she is pro prong collars!!! I so wish I had of thought of this before we left..... in hindsight bearing in mind where this particular park is I should have given it more thought.. my bad... Will know better for next time.... My two have been improving in leaps and bounds and I am so proud of them.... but without the use of the prong collars initially under corect guidance etc.... I doubt we would be where we are with our training today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Anne~ Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No excuses for her aggressiveness either, but just remember that some people are very passionate about what they believe/know. Education is the key, and her ideas don't automatically class her as a bogan (perhaps her behaviour does though!) I'm sure the Japanese think there is nothing wrong with harpooning whales, yet for those educated on sustainability and humane slaughter think the complete opposite. When your in the minority educating others is always a steeper hill to climb. Agree with this. On the positive side, at least she stood up to what she thought was animal cruelty. Many people would turn the other cheek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huski Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) No excuse for behaviour like that no matter how passionate you are. What a horrid woman. Edited January 9, 2012 by huski Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RL1 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) Should've told her to STFU, but then you will come across as bogan as her. Best just to walk away, but for sure i would've been happy for her to go and call the police. ETA.......On second thought, the police have a lot more important problems to deal with. Edited January 9, 2012 by RL1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inevitablue Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No excuse for behaviour like that no matter how passionate you are. What a horrid woman. Agreed, horrid behaviour. But if you want to affect change then you have to be prepared for passionate reactions. You have to be the bigger person and at least try to get your message out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huski Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) No excuse for behaviour like that no matter how passionate you are. What a horrid woman. Agreed, horrid behaviour. But if you want to affect change then you have to be prepared for passionate reactions. You have to be the bigger person and at least try to get your message out. Definitely - it's better and more effective in the grand scheme of things to be the bigger person, but in a situation like that though it's hard to think logically - I think the OP did a good job dealing with this woman given the situation! Edited January 9, 2012 by huski Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inevitablue Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) Very true! The woman sounds like she can be a bully. On a general note, sometimes these people when re educated can be a great voice for your cause. If only she put such effort into the sale of puppies / kittens in pet shops! That's in a perfect world though Edited January 9, 2012 by Inevitablue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Lab Love Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Very very true - it would be great to have someone so vocal on BYB's, puppy farms and pound dumpings.... but educating not harranguing But the unfortunate thing was she was a bully bc she didn't even want to hear what I had to say - had pretty much passed sentence as soon as she saw the collars.. My gut feeling was she was soapboxing her views and wanted everyone to hear them... It would have been so much better if i had been able to give my side of the story and explain the reasoning etc but after one attempt I gave up...... I think she just wanted to tell the whole park what I terrible owner i was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpette Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 DLL you can get covers for the collars so that the general public does not recognise them. Ask Steve about them. He will know where you can get them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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