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Preparing for the end


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57 minutes ago, giraffez said:

I have a question, is it common for people to arrange this themselves and not use the one from the vet?  

I've done both. You can't pre arrange things if you don't have a lot of warning :(

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I'd say certainly something to discuss with your vet.   My last occasion was my 15 and a quarter BC girl who had been one of the first pups my vet had as clients when he took over the (smallish) practice - so we go back a long way ...   I knew that he was quite OK with coming out to the small car park to euthanise pets in their own car.  So I booked his last appointment on a Saturday morning, and had my girl lovely and comfortable on a bed in the back of the SUV .. took the bigger crate out.  And actually while we were waiting, a lady from the cremation service came over to talk to me - receptionists had told her what was going on .. I'd already said I wanted Kirra cremated.  The lady was so lovely ... she was delivering something , and had to go do a couple of other things, but she said ... I'll be back to get your lovely girl as soon as I've done those errands.    So no lonely weekend at the vet office for my girl.   It was the loveliest, most gentle experience I've had ... and it's certainly the way I would do things again, if I had the chance.  (Just had to try to have not too many tears .. my vet had tears as well, and I didn;t want to upset him .. they have such a tough job.A)

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4 hours ago, giraffez said:

I have a question, is it common for people to arrange this themselves and not use the one from the vet?  

If I remember correctly, @westiemum did this.  She organised the day so people who loved her dogs could visit, organised the vet and the time to spend with her dogs afterwards before the cremation company arrived.  

 

I’ve tagged her so hopefully she can come in here and give her thoughts.  

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@Teebs I said that about PetRest and Pets at Peace because (as @Powerlegsalso said) they are franchises and as everyone knows franchises can differ wildly in their provision of whatever the service is.  I have had first hand experience.  

 

The range of cremation urns is very limited and, when you browse the internet and see some of the beautiful options available, you can see this.

 

@giraffezI am so sorry you are feeling so stressed about trying to be organised.  It is VERY hard to get your head around the fact that you have to make a decision to, in harsh words, end the life of a much loved and treasured being.  I have done it 18 times (not 17 as I’d said above) and I still get the shakes, feel sick at having to do it, feel as through I am betraying the years of love given to me.  Some of these times, have involved taking my dogs off life support after early morning dashes to the emergency vets, so there have been times when the decision has been made for me.  When the time came for Tamar to be given her wings, one of the vet nurses took some photographs for me because my phone had run out of space.  I have the most beautiful photographs of Tamar and she looks like a happy well very young dog.  I have to remind myself that she was very sick, very old and with little quality of life.  

 

Basically, the steps are as follows:

1.  Talk to your vet.

2.  Find an urn or other that you want for your boy so you are prepared and are not limited to what the cremation company offers.   

3.  When you know the time is right, you ring your vet to either have the procedure at your home or the vet premises.  Wherever you decide to have the procedure, you have as much time as you need to spend with your dog.  

4.  Your vet will arrange for the cremation company to collect your boy.

5.  Your vet will advise when the ashes have been returned.  

 

Edited by Loving my Oldies
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8 hours ago, giraffez said:

I have a question, is it common for people to arrange this themselves and not use the one from the vet?  

Your vet can arrange it but the finer details and choices still need your input .

 

Years ago you got no choices just here’s your pet ,now the options are many so not something the vet can just do .

If you have it arranged you can inform the vet staff that when it happens can they just call to arrange pick up but it’s still easier for them to have some info .

 

I wouldn’t use the one most vets suggest here in a pink fit so it’s my job to arrange it .

Also whilst the vet will work with you they can’t hold the pet forever ,simp,y reality they don’t want animals laying in bags and no freezer big enough so the vets get on to it ASAP if you don’t offer a option .

 

The people we use deliver the ashes back to us personally and pick up from home if the dog passes here 

Edited by Dogsfevr
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Thank you everyone again for the great advice.

 

In my last post, I asked whether it was common to arrange yourself because I wasn't sure whether the vet expects you to use their service.

 

I have seen the one my vet offers and the choices are very limited with the urns, really just a handful to choose from and nothing that I really like.   I've googled a number of companies and none of them seem to offer a "supply your own urn" option, which seems to imply i would have to choose one of their vessels or scatter boxes which becomes expensive when you need to pay for things twice.    

 

 

 

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58 minutes ago, giraffez said:

I've googled a number of companies and none of them seem to offer a "supply your own urn" option, which seems to imply i would have to choose one of their vessels or scatter boxes which becomes expensive when you need to pay for things twice.    

Just supply your own.  Give it to the vet to give to the company who provides the service and comes to the vet for collection.   I never even asked when I realised there were people who made urns which were much nicer

.  Have you looked on Etsy?

 

If there is only one company to chose and they insist you use their urns (I highly doubt they would take this stance) then take their urn and transfer the ashes to your own.   

 

Edited by Loving my Oldies
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On 23/04/2021 at 6:24 PM, Loving my Oldies said:

If I remember correctly, @westiemum did this.  She organised the day so people who loved her dogs could visit, organised the vet and the time to spend with her dogs afterwards before the cremation company arrived.  

 

I’ve tagged her so hopefully she can come in here and give her thoughts.  

 

Man you have a good memory LMO!   Snook I use paws2respect for all my babies cremations - 3 times so far and so does Matt (4 times for him).   I find them very good and reasonably priced (although you do pay travel but I felt that was reasonable and I really wanted to use these people).  

 

With Mac, I organised a time with the vet for 6 pm at home (on his way home so he didn't have to leave the surgery and go back), then invited Mac's Godparents to be there if they wanted (they arrived at 5 pm, then the cremation ladies (Tracey or Pauline arrived at 7 pm) and wrapped him carefully and took him with them in a basket.

 

They are the only people I could find who cremate individually and guarantee you only get your pet back (no group cremations).  Matt recommended them to me and I've been with them ever since (2 westies and a cat) They also offer a range of urns and name plate engraving.  Mac came back about a week later in his beautiful picture box with a lovely rose that I still have.  Highly recommend them.  Give me a buzz if you'd like to talk - mobile number is still the same.

 

ETA: Snook if you did a paws2respect 'scatter pack' then you could easily use your own urn if you wanted to.  And don't worry about the vets, you don't have to use their cremation service - mine was happy to go with what ever I preferred.

Edited by westiemum
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You could ring your Vet & ask what Crematorium they use.  You could then ring the Crematorium & ask whether they do individual cremations.

 

If not then google Pet Crematoriums in NSW & enquire from them what procedures they use & whether they would do an individual cremation for your dog.

 

Better to enquire beforehand as it's very distressing on the day when you PTS.  And there could be a lot going on at your Vets meaning you might compromise on something you normally wouldn't have.

 

Check with the Vet's receptionist beforehand  They are usually well informed re these matters.

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17 hours ago, Snook said:

I was talking about this subject with a family member today and I (and they) genuinely don't understand why people wouldn't just go with whomever the vet uses for cremation, if for no other reason than to save themselves from added stress during an already stressful and upsetting time. If the urns or boxes on offer aren't to the person's liking, just choose the cheapest option that gets your darling dog back home to you and be done with it. Let the vet handle the rest, focus your energy on your dog and spending as much time with them as possible, and then take your time buying their forever urn/box/etc later from someone else. 

Perhaps you are right.  I don’t have an issue with using the vets cremation service.  All I really need is it to be an individual cremation and I think this is pretty much standard nowadays.  I don’t need them to have empathy (although it would be nice) as I don’t think I will need to deal with them much, I just need them to make sure my baby is returned safely and done properly.    The other element is costs, if it turns out to be a few hundred dollars mark up via the vet, then that’s a deal breaker.  I haven’t enquired yet so I’m only guessing.

 

But the main reason is I don’t want to have to decide again and go through the whole ordeal of where he will eventually reside.  I’ll like to do it once and do it properly.  I can see myself  become even more distressed needing to handle his ashes a second time.

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17 hours ago, Loving my Oldies said:

Have you looked on Etsy?

Interesting you mention this as I was only looking last week. They are predominantly from the states, there are some beautiful ones.  But there doesn’t seem to be a market here in australia for that as when I filtered by ship from australia, hardly any came up.

 

Im probably just being too picky, an urn is an urn.  It could be the circumstance of needing to select one making it all less appealing.  :shrug:
 

But you guys are right, there aren’t many pet cremation services around and of those that do it, their vessels and urns are pretty similar.

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16 hours ago, Snook said:

 

 

The cost listed for cremation, including collection of the body from the vet, for a 2-50kg pet is listed on the AWL website as "From $300" (so that would include the cheapest urn option that I selected as the Eco urn.) The vet didn't charge any mark up on the cremation service. 

 

I completely understand that having to make more decisions and handle the ashes down the track may be too much for you and that you want everything done right the first time. We're all different and having to deal with Justice's ashes later didn't bother me, I just didn't want to be overwhelmed by the options and decisions while I was trying to keep it together with him going downhill quickly and having to let him go. You need to do whatever is best for you. I was just concerned that despite all of our best intentions with giving you information, we'd ended up overwhelming you and it was adding unnecessary stress to the time you have left with your boy. If you need to sort it all now to be able to cope better later, then by all means do that. You know what's best for you. :kissbetter:

Thanks for that, that’s good to know.  I guess not all vets will do the same thing but good to know a rough estimate of the costs ahead.  It’s not small given all the medical bills at the moment.  So all adds up.  But whatever will give him comfort and the best of care I will do, at any cost.
 

No, I really appreciate all the advice and experiences you guys have so generously shared with me.  Things I didn’t think off or even thought were options.  Really grateful for that.

 

thanks so much @Snook

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  • 3 weeks later...

I think I found an urn I’m happy with but I’m not sure whether it would fit. 

 

How much ash would a 11 kg dog produce to say a normal size Kleenex box 21cmx11cmx10cm.  Would it be about 30% of the box or more?

 

Is it okay to leave the ashes in the sealed plastic bag and put in the urn ? I worry about breakage.  Would it get mouldy or deteriorate if left in plastic?

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The ashes of my 35 kilo dog would fit in a kleenex box. It would not fill it. I've left mine in the plastic. I don't look inside. The ashes of an adult person come back in a box very much like a shoebox. They were interred at the cemetery so no urn.

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Posted (edited)

@giraffez, My Danny died nearly five years ago and I purchased an urn from the link I posted here, very similar to Mezza’s.  The ashes are as the day they arrived.   

 

Danny was approx 6kg so I took out the little plastic bag his ashes are in to give you some idea:

 

Weight -- 246gm

Width of baggy -- 9cm

Length of baggy -- 15cm

 

The urn is just under 15cm tall and 10-11cm at widest part.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Loving my Oldies
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3 hours ago, Loving my Oldies said:

Danny was approx 6kg so I took out the little plastic bag his ashes are in to give you some idea:

Thank you for doing that, sorry I didn’t mean for you to take little Danny out for some fresh air:laugh: but much appreciated.
 

Im surprised the amount of ashes isn’t very much compared to the size of Danny.  That’s probably about 1 measuring cup worth.

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14 hours ago, giraffez said:

Thank you for doing that, sorry I didn’t mean for you to take little Danny out for some fresh air:laugh: but much appreciated.

There comes a time, when one is able to do these sorts of things without being overwhelmed by the loss. :heart:

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On 21/04/2021 at 5:12 PM, Snook said:

I had assumed they'd have something like the tray that is inserted in to powder make up containers, with holes cut out to stop the contents from tipping out in a big pile at once. That being said, I've never looked in to them before and maybe a lot of them are the same as the Eco urn and the scatter box Rebanne got with just a regular lid and the ashes in a sealed bag. It just seems weird to me that they're given different names if they're basically the same thing. 

It's called 'product differentiation'.  Common marketing strategy.  It allows appealing to different niches, sometimes with one product selling at a higher price

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