What To Do?

[Wobbly]

IDK I hate to belabour a point (OK thats a lie, I belabour points regularly, totally without remorse).

It's very possible to cohabit with someone (or some dog) and not develop a relationship. Life goes on, they're just there. But what a difference if you decide to try!

Have a look at this clip (just a random one I was watching yesterday). Do you ever do stuff like this with your dogs?

You wouldn't expect your dogs to know all the stuff this dog knows, the essence I am trying to convey is how the owner here relates to the dog. Rates of verbal praise, pats, food, her reaction when the dog is not "getting it" ("you're trying so hard!" verbal and petting praise). The owner summary of this session is here. http://denisefenzi.com/2013/04/23/training-criteria-proofing/

OFC the dog brings his own personality to the table when you begin to work. But barring massive temperament defects, you do have the power to light your dogs right up - rapid fire rewards in return for behaviours the dog knows. Easy peasy.

What do you think would happen with your relationship with your dogs if you tried this for five minutes once or twice of an evening?

Might your kids want to have a try? You have the dogs already so if building a relationship with a dog (any dog) appeals to you, your current dogs would be only too delighted to bear with you learning how, provided your rates of reinforcement are high enough to make him love working with you.

Ash1, great question. Sometimes rehoming really is the best solution, especially if a dog is being bullied. Worthy of it's own sticky topic rather than being buried in many threads like this IMO. Lacking a breeder, I would approach an established, reputable rescue organisation, and see if I could liase with them and use their channels of advertising and expertise whilst I acted as "foster carer" for the dog until a good home was found. Probably a donation to the rescue in return for their help and support would be in order too.

Edited May 23, 2013 by Wobbly

[Rosetta]

How does one go about rehoming a dog responsibly?

I ask because I too, have been thinking about the possibility of rehoming one of our young dogs. Not because I don't like him or haven't bonded with him, but because I feel he is not very happy here with us. He is the real underdog here, and three of the other dogs always want to beat up on him (not fighting, but chasing and bullying him).

He spends a great deal of his time in "safe" places, or running away from the other dogs. He does play with them from time to time, but they just get too rough with him and he gets frightened and hides. He was a insecure and nervy dog to start with and just doesn't have enough confidence to stand up for himself. I think he may be very much happier as an only dog or at least away from our two young bitches, who are just that to him. I would actually rather keep Murphy and rehome one of the girls who is particularly bullying to him, but she has a few issues (incontinence being one) and I would be very worried about her future away from us if someone felt her issues were too much for them to cope with.

I have never ever rehomed any animal and hate the thought of rehoming Murphy, but may consider it if I could find him a great home where he would be happier - but just don't even know where to start - don't want to just throw him up on gumtree!

So where do you advertise, and how do you vet potential new homes? Murphy is a cross-breed (Doberman/Husky) and came from a shelter, so obviously I can't involve a breeder or breed organisation. I am so hesitant about it because even though I think he's not 100% happy here, at least I know he is well cared for and loved by us - by rehoming him, I can't guarantee that for the rest of his life. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to him.

Sorry to hijack your thread, op, but hopefully this information may also assist.

I think many of us consider rehoming. I often think my dog would be better off rehomed because he loves the company of other dogs and honestly I think it would help his separation anxiety to be in a home with other doggie friends. I myself do not want more than one dog. However I am not 100% sure that would work and I would hate to think he would be "dumped" in the future. So fear of that happening keeps me persisting with trying to "fix" him. However if the right circumstances arose I would certainly consider rehoming him.

[Dame Aussie]

See I have never once considered rehoming any animal I have and I have never not bonded with one either.

I don't know how you can't like a dog, that seems very human to me? I worked in a shelter for years and can honestly say I did not meet one dog I didn't like, no matter the personality.

This isn't having a go at all, I agree the best thing is to rehome sometimes and i know noone hates their dog, I just genuinely don't understand not getting along with a dog.

[Bjelkier]

I recently rehomed one of my older girls. She wasn't happy in a multi dog home, was picking on one of the younger girls, she was never going to be bred from and quite frankly she and I never really bonded.

I was super fussy about finding Allie the right new home and I'm really glad I was. The people she is with now are amazing, they think the world of her and I've never seen her so happy. Things she hated doing with us she loves doing with them.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for the dog is find it a more suitable home.

[Chocolatelover]

I rehomed my beagle just over a year and a half ago after a long and agonising decision and lots of tears. I totally understand where your coming from, although for us it was more of a case that we loved him, he just didn't seem overly enthusiastic with us. He seemed "down" all the time and wasn't particularly interested in us or our other dog. I took him to the vet and had blood work done - all was fine, the vet said he just had a "dull personality". He was walked every day, had a swim, a bone, lived inside and was a much loved member of the family. But I always felt guilty because I didn't have the same bond with him that I had with my other dog. I contacted Beagle Rescue and the breeder and it was so hard to explaining that I was looking to rehome but only to the perfect home because otherwise he had a near perfect home with us, just a little something was missing. I spoke to a few people who wanted "a friend for their other dog" but this wasn't what he needed and I decided he would stay. Then the perfect home came along and although it nearly broke my heart to let him go - he is a different dog. We have made new friends out of the whole process and we visit him every year at Christmas as he lives not far from my family. He is so happy, has another female beagle that he adores and really does have a new lease on life. His new family share the same bond with him that we do with our other dog and I am so glad that he found his people. His owner recognises what a hard decision it was and we get constant stories and photos regularly so we almost feel like he is still part of the family.

So to the OP - from my experience I would say that rehoming is a painful decision but can sometimes be the right decision for the dog. It takes time and effort to find the right home and there may not be a better one out there but there is nothing wrong with putting the feelers out :) Just my opinion anyway.

[moosmum]

How does one go about rehoming a dog responsibly?

I ask because I too, have been thinking about the possibility of rehoming one of our young dogs. Not because I don't like him or haven't bonded with him, but because I feel he is not very happy here with us. He is the real underdog here, and three of the other dogs always want to beat up on him (not fighting, but chasing and bullying him).

He spends a great deal of his time in "safe" places, or running away from the other dogs. He does play with them from time to time, but they just get too rough with him and he gets frightened and hides. He was a insecure and nervy dog to start with and just doesn't have enough confidence to stand up for himself. I think he may be very much happier as an only dog or at least away from our two young bitches, who are just that to him. I would actually rather keep Murphy and rehome one of the girls who is particularly bullying to him, but she has a few issues (incontinence being one) and I would be very worried about her future away from us if someone felt her issues were too much for them to cope with.

I have never ever rehomed any animal and hate the thought of rehoming Murphy, but may consider it if I could find him a great home where he would be happier - but just don't even know where to start - don't want to just throw him up on gumtree!

So where do you advertise, and how do you vet potential new homes? Murphy is a cross-breed (Doberman/Husky) and came from a shelter, so obviously I can't involve a breeder or breed organisation. I am so hesitant about it because even though I think he's not 100% happy here, at least I know he is well cared for and loved by us - by rehoming him, I can't guarantee that for the rest of his life. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to him.

Sorry to hijack your thread, op, but hopefully this information may also assist.

Rescue would have the best advise, but I have had to re-home many dogs for people who have asked me to take them when the pound is the dogs only other option. Thats why I say decide early before it gets to that stage.Not fair on the dog or who ever has to step in. Be prepared to wait for the right home,it may take a while.You may find it happens quickly. Being in the right place at the right time.

I would approach breeders 1st,followed by rescue then vet surgeries,friends and family,pound,pet shops,boarding kennels etc... Any place where people interested in the possibilities of a dog might go but starting from the top :)

Even Gumtree if thats where people go.Advertising there isn't evil if it gets the dog to a better situation.Disreputable people use it like they use anything available.Just don't be one of them.Rescues use it too,and people looking for a rescue.Include pictures and broad description of the home you feel would suit,and why. List the dogs favorable points and what it has to offer a new owner if they meet its needs.( can give you a new perspective too) You can register the dog in the new owners name with you as second contact,asking them to cover costs for that. A good description can bring a perfect result if the right person reads it.

People can seem the nicest,most caring and respectable people of integrity,tell you they know all about what they are doing- and still be lousy pet owners no matter what medium you use to advertize so check things out. They own their home or have stable housing? secure fencing? Willing and able to handle any special needs? Do they use a vet when its needed ?

If you give a trial and check on the dog when the trial is up,in its new home you can see for yourself if it realy is working.

Trust your instincts. If you have doubts,look harder. If you still have doubts,forget it.

You don't fail the dog by re homing to a more suitable home,you fail if you get rid of it.

Basicaly,take the time it needs and the dog deserves. Get the word out to be seen,''cos if they don't know they won't show.

Rescue should have better advise. Seems its worth discussion tho'.

Edited May 23, 2013 by moosmum

[Steph M]

See I have never once considered rehoming any animal I have and I have never not bonded with one either.

I don't know how you can't like a dog, that seems very human to me? I worked in a shelter for years and can honestly say I did not meet one dog I didn't like, no matter the personality.

This isn't having a go at all, I agree the best thing is to rehome sometimes and i know noone hates their dog, I just genuinely don't understand not getting along with a dog.

I don't think it's not liking the animal, just some are harder to live with than others (dogs and people) and perhaps the bond just doesn't occur, could happen for a myriad of reasons.

Perhaps you just accept that the dog could do better than you, that it might be happier elsewhere. Sounds logical to me, tbh.

It may well be a very human trait, but you can't change your species, and you can't change the effect these traits might have on your life.

[puddles]

Tough situation...

I rehomed two of my three cats when things went pear shaped with my ex. I had my girl originally, and they came later, and were always 'his' cats and she was mine. So when we split, he said he didn't want them. They always used to gang up on my girl and play fight her and stress her out; there was no way I could take all three. I persevered and found an awesome home for them! I even went back after 12 months and saw them :) Puddles is a very happy cat, and still as loyal as ever. Best thing I could have done for all parties involved!

Good luck!

Edited May 23, 2013 by puddles

[Staff'n'Toller]

See I have never once considered rehoming any animal I have and I have never not bonded with one either.

I don't know how you can't like a dog, that seems very human to me? I worked in a shelter for years and can honestly say I did not meet one dog I didn't like, no matter the personality.

This isn't having a go at all, I agree the best thing is to rehome sometimes and i know noone hates their dog, I just genuinely don't understand not getting along with a dog.

Shelters are artificial environments for dogs, they reap any attention they can get and it often changes their behaviour when attention and food are made contingent on good behaviour (as is the case in boarding and training kennels).

Some people need dogs that need them, others prefer independent breeds. Sometimes people choose the wrong breed or just the wrong dog. Sometimes the dynamics are wrong and neither dog particularly likes each other.

I think we can easily dumb them down but I firmly believe dogs can identify when they are being treated differently and where interactions may be tense with their humans.

I love my Toller to bits but geez he is the first dog who is not aware of where his body is in space, it annoys me no-end and it annoyed my other dogs constantly that he rushed around, bumped and stepped on them! Doesn't sound like a big thing but constantly being the peacemaker in a multi-dog household can be wearing when you add in other aspects.

[ash1]

Thank you so much for the responses/advice to my query of how to start the process of rehoming responsibly. Animals have always been with us for life, but they have always enjoyed their lives with us. Murphy does have some fun times, but too much of the time I watch him being fearful and it breaks my heart - I think he just may be able to do better than us, which is the most horrible feeling that I have failed him.

I may just start advertising quietly, I am in absolutely no rush for him to go apart from wishing to find a happier situation for him. Selfishly I don't want him to go at all, but would consider it if I could find him the perfect home where I thought he would be a happier dog. It just terrifies me thinking that someone could come and give me all the right answers, I could go to their home and think it wonderful, but he could end up in a terrible situation. There are so many terrible people and hideous cruelty in our world.

There is no way on dog's green earth that I would put him in a shelter situation. The only way he is leaving here would be to his proper forever home and with us as a permanent backup if anything went wrong. Great idea about being the second contact on the microchip paperwork - I would most certainly ensure that.

Edited May 23, 2013 by ash1

[Trisven13]

See I have never once considered rehoming any animal I have and I have never not bonded with one either.

I don't know how you can't like a dog, that seems very human to me? I worked in a shelter for years and can honestly say I did not meet one dog I didn't like, no matter the personality.

This isn't having a go at all, I agree the best thing is to rehome sometimes and i know noone hates their dog, I just genuinely don't understand not getting along with a dog.

Maybe it also comes down to human personality as well? I ran an all breeds dog rescue and, running that and being around soooooo many dogs for sooooo many years was when I first realised that whilst I loved all dogs I really didn't like all dogs and definitely didn't want to live with many of the dogs I rescued. I can't stand needy dogs - my very good friend has Border Collies and their constant attention on her and need to be with her, even their obedience :laugh: , drives me nuts and would send me round the bend if they were my dogs. My breed is far more independent and far less needy - she can't understand how I prefer it and keeps trying to convince me that her dogs are better. :laugh: They're not - they're just better for HER. The dog I rehomed was a Min Pin X and he was a needy, neurotic little nightmare in my home - in a home where they love to cuddle him and snuggle with him he is confident and outgoing. ETA - the one Fauve I have here who is needy does my head in :laugh:

Edited May 24, 2013 by Trisven13

[Trisven13]

As for how to rehome there is nothing wrong with putting an add in somewhere and/or working with a rescue group if one is happy to help you. I always recommend putting a price on the dog as a free to good home advertisement will often attract the wrong type. Work out exactly WHAT sort of home your dog needs and what it is that you're not providing so that you can be specific. Be honest about all the dogs' faults and issues and you will have less chance of a rehoming going wrong.

[violetmay]

I think when you feel such a deep love with animal (as you did with Hugo) and they die, then it is extremely hard to ever let yourself love another animal that much again. I used to have this cat called Blackie when I was in my early 20's. I've never loved another animal as much since. Just can't do it anymore.

I pretty much had convinced myself of that anyway.. then a few months ago, my dog got really sick with cancer. I cried and cried (and paid the expensive vet bill and got him fixed) LOL!! Anything to avoid him dying.

But after eating a pet guinea pig (we have two guinea pigs)I honestly don't know what I would do. My dog (who is white) will lick our white guinea pig and seems to think it is a small one of him, but he is wary of the tortoiseshell coloured guinea pig (ie. the one that is coloured like our cat, whom he fears).

I think part of the reason we were happy to pay so much for our dogs operation because I knew as a dog, he was safe for our other pets (cat and 2 guinea pigs). I didn't feel if we got a replacement dog, it would be safe for our other pets.

Not much of a help I guess.. but I think having an animal you feel safe with is really important.

Just wanted to say goodluck.

Edited May 24, 2013 by violetmay

[Animal House]

Rehome responsibly if the dog would be better off.

I love my dogs, but I don't like all dogs, and some breeds would do my head in, and some individual dogs of breeds I like would also do my head in.

[persephone]

Working/living with many many dogs over the years .. there are LOTS with whom I never bonded strongly ..and many I just didn't/don't like.

It works both ways ... dogs often will 'click' with a person ... and to hell with everyone else! :)

I hope your boy can find a home where everyone will be happy :)

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

How does one go about rehoming a dog responsibly?

I ask because I too, have been thinking about the possibility of rehoming one of our young dogs. Not because I don't like him or haven't bonded with him, but because I feel he is not very happy here with us. He is the real underdog here, and three of the other dogs always want to beat up on him (not fighting, but chasing and bullying him).

He spends a great deal of his time in "safe" places, or running away from the other dogs. He does play with them from time to time, but they just get too rough with him and he gets frightened and hides. He was a insecure and nervy dog to start with and just doesn't have enough confidence to stand up for himself. I think he may be very much happier as an only dog or at least away from our two young bitches, who are just that to him. I would actually rather keep Murphy and rehome one of the girls who is particularly bullying to him, but she has a few issues (incontinence being one) and I would be very worried about her future away from us if someone felt her issues were too much for them to cope with.

I have never ever rehomed any animal and hate the thought of rehoming Murphy, but may consider it if I could find him a great home where he would be happier - but just don't even know where to start - don't want to just throw him up on gumtree!

So where do you advertise, and how do you vet potential new homes? Murphy is a cross-breed (Doberman/Husky) and came from a shelter, so obviously I can't involve a breeder or breed organisation. I am so hesitant about it because even though I think he's not 100% happy here, at least I know he is well cared for and loved by us - by rehoming him, I can't guarantee that for the rest of his life. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to him.

Sorry to hijack your thread, op, but hopefully this information may also assist.

What you describe is not a great way for a dog to live. Perhaps you could seek out a behaviouralist and work out what to do next, ie can you better manage the situation or should you rehome Murphy.

I rehome dogs for people regularly, I try to be careful and plan for the long term but none of us can be 100% sure of what the future holds.

Edited May 24, 2013 by dogmad

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

As for people being angry when their dog kills other animals, I completely understand it - my first dog killed my budgie and I was extremely upset about it but I had to admit, it was ME who gave the dog access to do this.

Best not to have terriers with any small animals at all. Not sure if the guinea pig came before the terriers or the other way around but that was not a good move for the guinea pig. Always a good idea to understand the natural instincts of animals before putting them together and by this, I mean in the same vicinity.

[fainty_girl]

In my experience it can take time to bond with certain dogs. It took me years to really bond with one of my dogs. I love her to bits now, she is such a sweety. My dog bonded very strongly with my mum, so she wasn't missing out on anything.

My brother's dog Rusty is loveable, but I find him to be really irritating at times. If my brother moved out tomorrow, I wouldn't miss living with Rusty.

[katetk]

Thanks for all the responses and discussion. Feeling better re the dogs and Isobel. Chatted with another cairn owner and have more of an understanding standing re our Isobel. I mean she is a lovely dog, I think I was annoyed re Alvin the guinea pig, combined with the escaping... (Fence fixed, and gp - gone) As for Hugo, he is good, and is a great dog, no he isn't harvey and it was unfair for me to put that in him in a sense..

Things are good.Thanks guys,

[Trisven13]

Sometimes you just need to put stuff out there to recognise what can be done