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Charlie sometimes squeals now if he thinks that something can hurt him... that could just be us walking pass him too closely for his comfort. So I understand about Oscar being timid towards people and how hard that can be.

Sorry to hear the CW EW. How do you find Charlie is the majority of the time?

He has good days and he has bad days. He really doesn't function well in winter. He is less active, more sooky and not as happy. Once in a while, he will have his energy burst and moves around the house fine (for him) but then it will take him a few days to recover from that adventure.

But he still moves around (even if it's very slowly) and we still go for our stroll, and he enjoys that. But I do make him walk about 10m (for exercise) before I will pick him up and carry him home or put him in the stroller so we can go around the block. He enjoys that.. he sits in there watching with his goofy grin of his.

I'm not at the stage you are at where I have to think about it now, but that "decision" I have to make is always lingering in the back of my mind.

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I have yet to have to have a dog PTS but for me it would come down to quality of life.

If my dog was in pain and there appeared to be no prospect of relief in sight I would give him his wings.

I am sorry to hear about Oscar. He's so young for you to have to be making such a hard decision. :grouphug:

I feel the same. Unfortunately, I have had to make the decision three times now. The first time my husband was O/S and I had to go through it by myself. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and 7 years later, it still rips at my heart.

Quality of life is a major factor for me. I never want for any of my dogs to lose their dignity. Pain meds etc can only do so much and trust me, you will know when it's the right time :(

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Our 10 year old border collie was an outside dog. He had a beautiful personality. 2 months ago he started to get snappy with our two silky puppies. We thought it was just him being a male. I noticed he had stopped eating and we thought it was his teeth. So we took him to the vets and the vet agreed with his teeth as he had chipped one and they needed cleaning. He also suggested we have him desexed and shaved. So we did. After his op we let him live inside. The first few nights we noticed drops of blood and we thought it was just his stitches. So we took him to the vet on the Thursday. She had a look and we found the blood was coming from his bottom. She put him on medication and told us it was a hemroids. She said if he didn't stop bleeding by Monday to bring him back. By Monday he was still bleeding and looking miserable, so I took him back to the vet. We had a new English vet. She suggested we do blood test. It came back his red blood cells were dropping. So they tested him for clotting. By the following Thursday he was starting to drool thick drool and he could hardly move. His clotting came back fine. She suggested that we do an ultrasound, but said they may not be able to pick up anything and that it was highly likely it was cancer. Our boy was going down hill fast, and I couldn't stand to see him suffer. That night we decided we'd put him to sleep the next day. I spent his last day with him, and by the afternoon he was drooling blood. He was so sick, yet he had his paw around me and kept trying to cheer me up. He didn't want to disappoint me.

We could have kept him alive for longer. But I don't think its right to make your best friend suffer. We only keep them alive and treat them to make ourselves feel better, its not in their interest and it just hurts them to see you hurt. I miss him so much :( , but I know I did the right thing. It was time to say goodbye. I would rather remember my dog as healthy and loving, than have to see him suffer and struggle.

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:hug: SF - I've only had to make the decision for older animals, and goodness knows that was hard enough - can only imagine your situation. You've had some great advice - and agree with the quality of life - good times/bad times analysis. I found that helpful.

A couple more things to consider. A very wise vet on another forum, when going through this same decision for her heart dog, said that she had never had a client say to her that they had acted too early, but had many who regretted that they had left the decision a little late. I've never had a baby, but I know from watching friends with theirs, and now their grandchildren, that tiny people are very, very time-consuming - and so maybe it's worth considering whether if Oscar is still going and still needing lots of your attention and support, you will be able to give him what he needs when baby arrives.

I feel sure that as you love your little man so much, you will make the right decision for him - however much it pains you - and you know that youj have lots of cybersupport on this forum :grouphug: .

Thank you Tassie. They are very good words from that vet - Keeping him here is for my own selfish reason but also because I hate the thought of cutting his life short and just maybe he wasn't really in pain.

I don't want to and won't base my decision on Oscar's fate on the birth of our first child. I appreciate life is going to be changed forever when bub arrives but my acknowledgement and love for him will never change. Life will certainly get busy and until we find our routine I will likely be tired but I am very aware of Oscar's situation and I need him just as much as he needs me.

:( I am really struggling to hold back the tears! Everything you write of your Darcy is Oscar. He has spinal, neck and brain pain (Constant migraines they described it)! I have lost my little cheeky boy to a boy who is completely withdrawn and it's the odd occassion I am seeing him be Oscar. My crazy little deviat who loved to wrestle with the cat and play with me is no longer there, the rare occassion he will pop up and it shocks the socks off me but it only lasts for about 3 - 5 minutes and the flop on the ground again.

I understand the concept of it being the kindest thing I can do, I am just really struggling to see it that way.

Oh shite, tearing up here too. :cry:

All I can say is do it before those glimpses of the dog he used to be fade to nothing. You owe it to both of you to have some last happy moments to hold on to before that final goodbye.

Talk to your vet. Ask about prognosis. Your last hope for improvement hasnt' yet faded but if it does.. you'll know its time.

Sorry PF. This is what I need to remember. I want to remember my little man for who he was not what has become of him.

I just tried calling my vet and they are a husband and wife team - they aren't in until Monday as his Dad has just passed away and they are on their way to his funeral :(. Gosh, it's going to be a difficult conversation for us all on Monday I think.

Charlie sometimes squeals now if he thinks that something can hurt him... that could just be us walking pass him too closely for his comfort. So I understand about Oscar being timid towards people and how hard that can be.

Sorry to hear the CW EW. How do you find Charlie is the majority of the time?

He has good days and he has bad days. He really doesn't function well in winter. He is less active, more sooky and not as happy. Once in a while, he will have his energy burst and moves around the house fine (for him) but then it will take him a few days to recover from that adventure.

But he still moves around (even if it's very slowly) and we still go for our stroll, and he enjoys that. But I do make him walk about 10m (for exercise) before I will pick him up and carry him home or put him in the stroller so we can go around the block. He enjoys that.. he sits in there watching with his goofy grin of his.

I'm not at the stage you are at where I have to think about it now, but that "decision" I have to make is always lingering in the back of my mind.

That really does sound horrible. I honestly don't know how you do it!

I have yet to have to have a dog PTS but for me it would come down to quality of life.

If my dog was in pain and there appeared to be no prospect of relief in sight I would give him his wings.

I am sorry to hear about Oscar. He's so young for you to have to be making such a hard decision. :grouphug:

I feel the same. Unfortunately, I have had to make the decision three times now. The first time my husband was O/S and I had to go through it by myself. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and 7 years later, it still rips at my heart.

Quality of life is a major factor for me. I never want for any of my dogs to lose their dignity. Pain meds etc can only do so much and trust me, you will know when it's the right time :(

Sorry to hear you had to do that on your own idigadog. That would have been terribly hard!

I think I am starting to think it's the right time hence why I've asked this question. We have one other hope of medication and we'll hopefully try that but if that doesn't work I guess I have to make the hard decision.

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Our 10 year old border collie was an outside dog. He had a beautiful personality. 2 months ago he started to get snappy with our two silky puppies. We thought it was just him being a male. I noticed he had stopped eating and we thought it was his teeth. So we took him to the vets and the vet agreed with his teeth as he had chipped one and they needed cleaning. He also suggested we have him desexed and shaved. So we did. After his op we let him live inside. The first few nights we noticed drops of blood and we thought it was just his stitches. So we took him to the vet on the Thursday. She had a look and we found the blood was coming from his bottom. She put him on medication and told us it was a hemroids. She said if he didn't stop bleeding by Monday to bring him back. By Monday he was still bleeding and looking miserable, so I took him back to the vet. We had a new English vet. She suggested we do blood test. It came back his red blood cells were dropping. So they tested him for clotting. By the following Thursday he was starting to drool thick drool and he could hardly move. His clotting came back fine. She suggested that we do an ultrasound, but said they may not be able to pick up anything and that it was highly likely it was cancer. Our boy was going down hill fast, and I couldn't stand to see him suffer. That night we decided we'd put him to sleep the next day. I spent his last day with him, and by the afternoon he was drooling blood. He was so sick, yet he had his paw around me and kept trying to cheer me up. He didn't want to disappoint me.

We could have kept him alive for longer. But I don't think its right to make your best friend suffer. We only keep them alive and treat them to make ourselves feel better, its not in their interest and it just hurts them to see you hurt. I miss him so much :( , but I know I did the right thing. It was time to say goodbye. I would rather remember my dog as healthy and loving, than have to see him suffer and struggle.

:( Wadz I am so so sorry to hear this!!! Your poor poor boy. What a horrible way to go down hill so fast and so suddenly! You made the right decision and as much as I would never want Oscar to suffer like that it would almost make it easier to see it's the kindest thing to do then to have to weigh it up.

You must miss your boy so much, 10 years with him only for you to have to give him his wings.. Big BIG hugs to you..

You are right - I am only treating him to keep him alive for me. I am telling myself it's for him too but I often forget he is a dog not a human.

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You are right - I am only treating him to keep him alive for me. I am telling myself it's for him too but I often forget he is a dog not a human.

Pretty sure we are all guilty of that :cry: This might sound really weird, but my dogs have given me a look when it was time. It's unmistakable and kind of says, "I've had enough".

God, I'm bawling now...........just know that you're not alone O.K.

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I just tried calling my vet and they are a husband and wife team - they aren't in until Monday as his Dad has just passed away and they are on their way to his funeral . Gosh, it's going to be a difficult conversation for us all on Monday I think.

Oh my goodness SF - how sad. Yes, it will be a difficult conversation for all of you, especially in those circumstance. My lovely vet was in tears when he couldn't save my previoius BC Fergus when at 6 he died of an accidental poisoning. The next time he saw me in the waiting room he gave me a big hug, and it was tears all round. Love my vet.

Just one more thing for you to consider - when I lost a beautiful BC fairly suddnely (from hemolytic anemia), I found it really helpful that I'd already decided that I was going to have him cremated. (I did that for my old Jess, and for Fergus too.) It's worth having though ahead of time what you want to do - one less hard decision to have to make on the spot.

Can I say Oscar is lucky to have such lovely caring and thoughtful humans, just as you are lucky to have had him in your lives. You will have lovely memories to treasure.

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Our 10 year old border collie was an outside dog. He had a beautiful personality. 2 months ago he started to get snappy with our two silky puppies. We thought it was just him being a male. I noticed he had stopped eating and we thought it was his teeth. So we took him to the vets and the vet agreed with his teeth as he had chipped one and they needed cleaning. He also suggested we have him desexed and shaved. So we did. After his op we let him live inside. The first few nights we noticed drops of blood and we thought it was just his stitches. So we took him to the vet on the Thursday. She had a look and we found the blood was coming from his bottom. She put him on medication and told us it was a hemroids. She said if he didn't stop bleeding by Monday to bring him back. By Monday he was still bleeding and looking miserable, so I took him back to the vet. We had a new English vet. She suggested we do blood test. It came back his red blood cells were dropping. So they tested him for clotting. By the following Thursday he was starting to drool thick drool and he could hardly move. His clotting came back fine. She suggested that we do an ultrasound, but said they may not be able to pick up anything and that it was highly likely it was cancer. Our boy was going down hill fast, and I couldn't stand to see him suffer. That night we decided we'd put him to sleep the next day. I spent his last day with him, and by the afternoon he was drooling blood. He was so sick, yet he had his paw around me and kept trying to cheer me up. He didn't want to disappoint me.

We could have kept him alive for longer. But I don't think its right to make your best friend suffer. We only keep them alive and treat them to make ourselves feel better, its not in their interest and it just hurts them to see you hurt. I miss him so much :( , but I know I did the right thing. It was time to say goodbye. I would rather remember my dog as healthy and loving, than have to see him suffer and struggle.

:( Wadz I am so so sorry to hear this!!! Your poor poor boy. What a horrible way to go down hill so fast and so suddenly! You made the right decision and as much as I would never want Oscar to suffer like that it would almost make it easier to see it's the kindest thing to do then to have to weigh it up.

You must miss your boy so much, 10 years with him only for you to have to give him his wings.. Big BIG hugs to you..

You are right - I am only treating him to keep him alive for me. I am telling myself it's for him too but I often forget he is a dog not a human.

Thanks Sunnyflower. Its still pretty fresh, but it all comes down to the quality of life. I'm just thankful I got to say goodbye to him.

At least you know you've done everything you can for him when the time comes to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you and your boy.

Its one of the hardest choices to make.

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my heart goes out to u ,I am going through that painfull dession time atm, with my 11 yr old girl ,but having had to have my heart dog pts@ 18mnths old, I fully understand where u r coming from ,

With my Huckie who was only a baby I knew the medications would prolong his life BUT u have to consider the quality of life not the quantity!! some one @ that time said to me ,""better a day to soon,than a day to late ""that was a real eye opener for me & i put aside my own feeling of loss ,looked into his eyes & said because I love u Im setting u free !!

You will KNOW,WHEN ITS TIME TO LET THE ANGELS CARRY HIM TO A PLACE FREE OF PAIN OR SUFFERING & HE WILL LIVE IN YR HEART FOREVER .HUGS & COURAGE 2 U BOTH

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This is so sad, what an awful thing for you to have to decide. I feel that it's all about quality of life, not quantity. If it's only going to get worse, and it's not good now then I think if it was me I would let him go. I had to put a horse down once who had arthritis in his hip. At the time it was bad but he still had good days. I decided to let him go then though, I didn't want to wait until his life was just one constant blur of pain and misery. I chose to let him go before it got to that stage. It was hard though, and even now over 20 years later I sometimes think I could have kept him longer. Then I ask myself why would I do that to him.

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:cry: Oh Lord I am crying buckets here, I feel for you, I have never been in your position and pray it will be a very long time before I am. Thank dog for all the Dolers and their wonderful support, all I can offer is cyber hugs and I will light a candle for you and your lovely boy, I hope you both find the peace you seek.

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:(:( This is such a difficult thread, but I really felt I needed to share.Five years ago, we had to say goodbye to our 12 and a half year old Bully- he had arthritis, and it had started to have an effect on his overall mobility. To look at him, he looked fine(except his grey sunglasses lol) and was medicated. One morning, he didn't greet me at the door as usual, when we looked for him, he had been ferreting around in the garden, had lain down in a dip in the garden, and couldn't get back up :( When we stood him up( he then bounded off as though nothing had happened) the look he gave us said it all-you reall do know when it's time. We took him to the vet the next day....it utterly broke my heart, he spent his last night treated as an utter prince, but I just couldn't have lived with myself if something had happened when I wasn't at home.It was such a hard thing to do, but you will definitely know when the time is right. My heart goes out to you, and all others who have, and have been through this heartache.Many hugs.
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When you are really close to your animal you will know when the time is right to send him on his way, treasure the moments you have had with him and when the time comes just remember what you have done to keep him, you will have done your best.

softly do they slip away

whilst in loving arms they lay

drifting off to sleep

with barely a peep

at the bridge he will lay

and then in a dream on a special day

appearing like a special guest

you will know that day, you did what was best

hugs to you

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This is hard for all that have been thru and all that will go thru.I lost my ridgy X on 29th Nov 2009.He had just turned 16 years old just weeks before.He had a stroke(there is another name for it) at 13 then pancreatitis at 14.At 15 his arthritis was so bad his back legs were starting to drag.I always said to my vet"I will never keep him alive for me".At 16 he was diagnosed with a cancer on the liver.That day he never came home.I had him since he was 6 weeks old and we had been thru thick and thin for half my adult life but I never bought him home that day because I promised my best friend I would not keep him alive for ME.The cancer was well advanced and he could not walk and my beautiful vet told me it was time.It makes no difference if it's 16 days or 16 years you will know.

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Having a dog with a deteriorating disease/illness is one of the hardest things to deal with and it doesn't matter how old or young they are. I have faced this issue every single day this year with my almost 17 year old SBT. Sure she wants to be with us and seems to be happy enough but my greatest fear is her having some kind of accident or deterioration when no-one is home. I couldn't bare to think she needed someone and no-one was there. I couldn't bare to think she suffered something needlessly because she does not show pain easily. I have made the big decision for this saturday afternoon and my vet is staying open just for me. I have made the appointment once before and changed my mind and I can't honestly say I'll be able to look at her face and go through with it this saturday either but I think I have to as she is so bad on her back legs now she is just a serious accident waiting to happen. She was my first SBT rescue and has never been a touchy feely type and is certainly not my heart dog but still this is an incredibly painful thing to even think about.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes, whether we like it or not, this has to be about what is best for our dogs and not what we are ready for or can cope with.

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You are right - I am only treating him to keep him alive for me. I am telling myself it's for him too but I often forget he is a dog not a human.

Pretty sure we are all guilty of that :cry: This might sound really weird, but my dogs have given me a look when it was time. It's unmistakable and kind of says, "I've had enough".

God, I'm bawling now...........just know that you're not alone O.K.

:( I'm sorry for making you cry idigadog. It's always so nice to offer help, thoughts and strength for others by always pulls up your own horrible memories and feelings! I honestly feel like I have been given that look from him but I often think I am crazy for thinking that's what he is say!?!

Thank you - It means the world to me to know I have everyone here and I am not on my own.

I just tried calling my vet and they are a husband and wife team - they aren't in until Monday as his Dad has just passed away and they are on their way to his funeral . Gosh, it's going to be a difficult conversation for us all on Monday I think.

Oh my goodness SF - how sad. Yes, it will be a difficult conversation for all of you, especially in those circumstance. My lovely vet was in tears when he couldn't save my previoius BC Fergus when at 6 he died of an accidental poisoning. The next time he saw me in the waiting room he gave me a big hug, and it was tears all round. Love my vet.

Just one more thing for you to consider - when I lost a beautiful BC fairly suddnely (from hemolytic anemia), I found it really helpful that I'd already decided that I was going to have him cremated. (I did that for my old Jess, and for Fergus too.) It's worth having though ahead of time what you want to do - one less hard decision to have to make on the spot.

Can I say Oscar is lucky to have such lovely caring and thoughtful humans, just as you are lucky to have had him in your lives. You will have lovely memories to treasure.

You sound like you have a very lovely vet.

Whether I am to cremate him or bury him is something I do need to consider and I will give this some serious thought. Either way I would like to bury him but I do think I would have to cremate him because I don't think I could bear to know he was busy in full in the garden.

Thank you Tassie, I hope he knows whatever happens I am only doing it because I truly do love him.

Oh heavens we are all upset for you, here have a :hug: from me to.

I say better to go a little bit early than far to late.

Thank you Oakway. I need to remember these words!

my heart goes out to u ,I am going through that painfull dession time atm, with my 11 yr old girl ,but having had to have my heart dog pts@ 18mnths old, I fully understand where u r coming from ,

With my Huckie who was only a baby I knew the medications would prolong his life BUT u have to consider the quality of life not the quantity!! some one @ that time said to me ,""better a day to soon,than a day to late ""that was a real eye opener for me & i put aside my own feeling of loss ,looked into his eyes & said because I love u Im setting u free !!

You will KNOW,WHEN ITS TIME TO LET THE ANGELS CARRY HIM TO A PLACE FREE OF PAIN OR SUFFERING & HE WILL LIVE IN YR HEART FOREVER .HUGS & COURAGE 2 U BOTH

Oh Cockerlover I am so sorry you are going through this too. I hope your girl isn't in too much pain or discomfort!

He will forever be in my heart but I want him forever at my feet! I really need to accept the reality.

This is so sad, what an awful thing for you to have to decide. I feel that it's all about quality of life, not quantity. If it's only going to get worse, and it's not good now then I think if it was me I would let him go. I had to put a horse down once who had arthritis in his hip. At the time it was bad but he still had good days. I decided to let him go then though, I didn't want to wait until his life was just one constant blur of pain and misery. I chose to let him go before it got to that stage. It was hard though, and even now over 20 years later I sometimes think I could have kept him longer. Then I ask myself why would I do that to him.

I need to think like this and realise that Oscar won't get better and I knew that before hand but the vet made it very clear that the medication was purely only something that would mask the pain if it worked - it did nothing more. There would still be a progression of the disease and for Oscar to have been showing signs from before 18 months he has a bad case.

That's a very hard decision Kirislin and I understand you questioning yourself.

:cry: Oh Lord I am crying buckets here, I feel for you, I have never been in your position and pray it will be a very long time before I am. Thank dog for all the Dolers and their wonderful support, all I can offer is cyber hugs and I will light a candle for you and your lovely boy, I hope you both find the peace you seek.

I'm sorry for making you cry BCpuppy and thank you! Definitely thankful to have all the Dolers. I was blurry about the topic and felt cruel even thinking about it, it has created some clarity for me. I will still discuss this with my vet but he is only going to get worse not get better and unless a tragedy happens I will have to give him his wings anyway.

All I can say Sunnyflower I know what you are going through & my thoughts are with you at this very difficult time :(

And lots of love to Oscar

Thank you jakeyjangels. I have been giving Osc lots of cuddles.

When you are really close to your animal you will know when the time is right to send him on his way, treasure the moments you have had with him and when the time comes just remember what you have done to keep him, you will have done your best.

softly do they slip away

whilst in loving arms they lay

drifting off to sleep

with barely a peep

at the bridge he will lay

and then in a dream on a special day

appearing like a special guest

you will know that day, you did what was best

hugs to you

KOE...... THANK YOU!!! He is snuggled up next to me and I wish he could stay there for keeps.. :(

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