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Saying goodbye


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I have written and rewritten this post multiple times and am still struggling to write it.

For the last couple of months Rascal has been losing condition and showing a range of unexplained symptoms, after multiple blood tests and finally an ultrasound early in the week we have been given a devastating diagnosis, he has a huge cancerous mass on his spleen, it’s inoperable and with the results of his bloods the vets believe it is affecting his bone marrow and is in his lymph nodes, at best he only has weeks left at worst it could rupture at anytime which would mean instant collapse and death.

we have started palliative care to keep him as comfortable as possible, he is unable to eat full meals without vomiting due to the amount of space the tumour is taking up in his abdominal area so I’m hand feeding lots of small meals each day.

He has moments of bouncing around happily but due to the anaemia he wears out extremely fast.
I have taken Tue off and I am going to take him for a drive to the beach where we used to live, it was his favourite place before we moved and then a stop in for one last visit at my husbands parents as he has always loved going there since he was a puppy and they will have the chance to say goodbye.

Its his 13th birthday on the 29th of Aug, we were planning on having a special day for him but I don’t think we’re going to get that opportunity.

He has been by my side for 12 1/2 years, he always came to work with me before I started working from home so the only time we’ve been separated is when I’ve been in hospital, I’m trying to stay strong and not get emotional as I know it upsets him but it is so so hard.

The rest of our pack clearly know he isn’t well and the dynamics have changed, Maisie our little chi seems to be the one that is mostly by his side, although they don’t play together and he’s never shown much interest in her (Abby and Abby’s daughter Mia are the two he adores and mostly interacts with) she seems to understand he’s very unwell.

 

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Edited by Rascalmyshadow
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I had to do this about a year ago and it broke my heart .  This dog was a rehome and quickly became my heart dog.  Even though it's a year since he went I still miss him and think of him every day..

 

You are in my thoughts at this sad time.

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So sorry to hear your terrible news. Sounds exactly how my Zena was. It’s so difficult. Spend some extra special days with him. Take care. Xx

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No words except so sorry, it is a horrible situation.   It is wonderful that he is surrounded by love (2 and 4 legged) and he still has good days - but from experience I know that it is both bittersweet and heartbreaking at the same time, so at the moment it is just crushing

 

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I’m so sorry. It’s a hard time for you all. 
 

We experienced very similar with Boofy. We also took him to his favourite beach for one last walk in the sand. His little belly was very swollen and he waddled along slowly, but his eyes lit up and I know he enjoyed it. 

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Such a very sad time.   But I reallu like your plan .. and admire you for the decision to  let him go earlier rather than later, hard as that is.  Extra hugs for my two in Rascal's honour. 

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We never made it to the beach yesterday, I knew he wasn’t good and I was too worried he wouldn’t cope with the long car ride so instead we went to the local park where he’s enjoyed most of his daily walks (before he got sick) he pottered around happily marking every tree, my mother in law came down and got to see him and say goodbye, as did my mum on Sunday.


Last night he refused to eat and the same this morning, I knew it was time, called the vets but he collapsed before we got there, he perked up for a couple of mins after they put the cannula in, just long enough to say good bye and now he’s gone.

 

Taken this morning not long before he collapsed, he was on my bed with my two daughters and then spent his final moments in my arms both at home and at the vets.

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Thank you everyone for the support, we have had many losses but this has been the hardest and I’ll always feel like the luckiest person to have had him be part of our lives.

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Peeing on every tree at the park .... sounds like a pretty good substitute for the beach.   and surrounded by love  -- there are worse ways to go .. for him it was a gentle passing ... for you ... a big gap in the family, but beautiful memories of a special boy.   Condolences to you all.

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I'm so sorry you lost your little man, he went with lots of love, safe in your arms, like going to sleep.   :rainbowbridge:

 

I'm tearing up writing this as  I had to do this for my girl just over 3 years ago, and being my heart dog, it was so hard.  But I'm so lucky to have had her in my life, as I know you were with Rascal.  Big hugs for you and the family. 

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